Court of Miracles
by The Author's Mighty Pen
Summary: The cycle turns as the immortal being, John Bates, fights against his immortal adversary for the right to escape to the mortal coil and find love.
1. Prologue: Capricious Gods

In the beliefs of the world there are many gods. Gods who rule by whim and whimsy, bound to the people of their spheres by loose connections. Connections that only matter to the benefit of the gods themselves and for no other purpose than for their amusement. These gods that play with the lives of mortals to incite their own vanity and excitement before growing bored of them to begin anew elsewhere.

Such gods are not the kind one prays to without a sense of trepidation and fear. Or without realizing that no matter how pitiful the plea or sacrificial the supplication or abundant the offering, the gods may still decide that mankind is better crushed under their boot. That is the way of the world.

He had served such a cause for his whole existence. He could not say when it began, or when it would end but he knew life was not the same now as it had been when he began. Then, as a young and passionate god with little compunction for rules or justice, he took pleasure in the exorbitant powers he held. He relished the victories of large armies as much as the deflowered women he left in awe of his magical being.

Now it made his immortal flesh crawl. He watched those women as they aged and died, the few of them who bore his half-mortal children raising them with hopes for grander futures only to lose them to death like any other might lose their children. At first, when he watched their deaths, he thought nothing more than if they had been slaughtered animals taken for dinner. They were no more immortal than any others and those who believed in their mistaken immortality fell to swords faster than any other because their invulnerability disguised their deep stupidity.

Now, when the surviving few succumbed to age or disease he wished, with his whole immortal soul he wished he could have them as children again. Be mortal with them again. Perhaps seek love again.

His voice, crackling over the expanse between them, set his teeth on edge. Her fingers on his skin burned with a golden glow that soured in moments. And her face, once all he wished to see as they cavorted together over the hills and plains of both planes, now struck him as ugly in its magnificence and beauty.

"Still sulking?"

"It's hard not to when you seem determined to ruin the little beauty left me in the world." He adjusted his position on his seat, waving down at their view of the world below them. "Why not let me have one little thing?"

"Because, with you, it's never one little thing. And if you meant the king who just suffered the worst betrayal he never saw coming or the little girl now abandoned to the world, then maybe you need to change."

"Either option," He sniffed. "It was a small kingdom. It didn't need you to destroy it."

"I know you," She shook her finger at him. "You wanted that little kingdom to spread, grow its influence over the surrounding lands, and then recreate a better world."

"What's wrong with a better world, Vera?"

"It's old bag, John." She snorted, "You always think that life will be better if people just loved one another."

"Isn't it?"

"It's boring and tired." She sighed, leaning closer to trace his face with a finger. "Why not go back to what we used to do? We had such fun that way."

"You mean seducing mortals, inciting their riots, and leading them to destroy themselves?"

Vera smiled, "Just like that."

John shook his head, "No. that was fun before we knew better. We're not those people anymore Vera. We should be better." He pointed down at the earth below them. "They deserve better."

"Like what? Mortal gods?"

"If I could escape my immortality then yes, that's what they'd deserve." John stood, "Someone who could do this all better than I could. Better than I have."

"Stop self-flagellating, it's not attractive." Vera sneered as John paced toward the edge of their floating location.

"Why would you believe I'd want to be attractive to you any longer?" John barely glanced over his shoulder, muttering the words.

But Vera heard them and John barely had a moment to protect himself from her attack. They grappled, falling from their perch, and plunged through the clouds. John separated himself from Vera, trying to get clear.

Before he knew it she launched a bolt at him, striking him in the chest. He landed heavily and the ground around him rumbled. John could not move, broken and shattered as he was on the ground.

Vera appeared above him, standing in all her magnificent fury, and snarled. "If you desire mortality than you'll have to earn this like they do."

"What?"

"Find love John, and you'll be freed from your immortal coil." Her snigger caught John off guard, his mind fuzzing and struggling to understand. "Find someone who will love you and you can find freedom. Fail to do that and you will live thousands of lifetimes in pain, agony, and the knowledge that you've simply exchanged your high position as a lord in the clouds for the rotting, fetid, existence of life among the scum of the earth."

John would always remember her face as the last thing he saw.


	2. Part I: In a Land Before Time Remembered

In the snows of the north, in some long forgotten keep now more rubble than building, a woman lived. She was once watched over by the gods above her with adoration and care. Now they ignored her. Or, worse, they sought her destruction.

She was one who sought to give more kindness than she received. Living in a world seeped in superstition and fear, she stood strong. That was why he admired her. That was why he fell from the heavens.

But now he walked the earth like all other men. Now he sought life, hearth, and love like any other. She sought affection and respect. In their heat of hearts perhaps a poet or a bard might say they sought one another. But he forgot her in his struggle to learn the ropes of mortality. And she never prayed to those kinds of gods anyway.

It was why, when he found opportunity, he thought nothing more of it than a rise in his fortunes. So many men were no more than the meat on their bones but he could be more. He sought more.

She seemed resigned to her lot. Life had been no more kind to her than any other. Her clothing was finer, her dwelling place larger, and perhaps her circle of influence expanded but what was that in the face of crushing loneliness?

What is money when one feels empty?

None could find fault with her. Despite the evil placed in the hearts of those driven by the less benevolent gods, they could see her as nothing more than something to ignore. For those accepting of a constant neutrality she was a passing fancy. For those with the glow of eternal peace she was an angel.

She thought none of these things.

But few people really know their worth. For who can see the forest for the trees? And who can see the light for the darkness?

For is the women scorned has more fury than hell itself, what of the goddess refused? What can one do but fear the wrath of a being holding power to snuff out the light of the sun or cast its rays in unrelenting brutality to scorch the earth? What mortal could stand in the face of such horrible beauty and not quail under the gaze that demands loving devotion and abject hatred?

This was the goddess who watched over his work. He sensed her presence, though she kept herself away. His unease, his wariness, and his suspicion were perceived as the results of a hard life instead of being cast from his heaven. His decisive nature, his intelligence, and his strategist brain were noted as the character of a military man instead of the habits of an immortal god. Where others watched for knives in the dark, he watched for lightning.

Where she had lives life alone, abandoned, and forgotten, he rose. Where he lived under constant scrutiny, never-ending evaluation, and jealousy, she passed unnoticed. Never these two would meet had life been indifferent to their individual plights.

But life is never indifferent when a goddess seeks her revenge.

The universe itself could not summon an equivalent to the fury of a goddess scorned.

This would be her ever-present, never-ending, unrelenting revenge.


	3. The North Keep

She paced to the top of the wall. Snow drifted from the sky, falling softly to carpet the gray with white. She tilted her head toward the sky and breathed deeply, closing her eyes to fully absorb the moment.

A trumpet sounded and she turned toward the gate where a line of men rode toward the entrance. Sighing she shook her head, displacing any snow that had not already melted into her blonde hair. She picked up her green dress and began down the stairs, treading carefully in her shoes until she reached the courtyard.

One of the maids ran to her side, huffing against her thick coat and holding a cloak out toward the woman. "Lady Winter, you must wear it or you'll catch your death and aggravate your fever."

"I've no fever, Elsie." Lady Winter chided but allowed the woman to put the cloak on her anyway. "This is hardly necessary with the thickness of the dress you insisted I wear this morning."

"Winter's difficult here, milady. I know you were raised in the south and this isn't like that."

"Winter's difficult here, milady. I know you were raised in the south and this isn't like that."

"I only lived in the south for a few years. I've here longer than you." Lady Winter sighed and shook her head before nodding toward the gate. "Which of my uncle's grand battalions has arrived?"

"His vanguard. He arrives later this evening with the new captain of the guard."

"New captain of the guard? Where will my uncle send Carson?"

"I don't know milady. I only know that he's been called to another locale." Elsie shuffled Lady Winter toward the door to the keep, ushering her toward the main hall and removing the cloak she only just finished buttoning. "Now be ready to greet the vanguard."

Lady Winter sighed and rolled her eyes, straightening and smiling as the large double doors opened and the green clad soldiers marched in, each bowing to her before taking position to the side while their captain entered. Lady Winter curtsied to him and gave him her hand to kiss as he bowed before her.

"Lady Winter, it's an honor to finally meet you. I hear nothing but glorious things regarding your reputation."

"Then, Captain, you have me at a loss for I'm not acquainted with you." She smiled back as he stood, combing his auburn hair back. Her mouth twitched up at the obvious care he took in his appearance. His stature speaking to his vanity as clearly as the light reflecting on his perfect teeth spoke of his self-care. With hair combed and trimmed to perfection, a physique of the highest quality she had ever seen, and exemplary manners it was almost too much to believe he led the hardened men surrounding them.

She stood a little farther back, wary of a man obviously seeking to impress as he introduced himself. "I am Captain Green, currently serving in the capital."

"Then you need to be exposed to the fire, Captain, for it's far colder here in the north an I'm sure you like."

"The Lady Winter is very observant. But, I need to see first to my men and our horses. One must take care of those things they hope will continue to serve them well." He smiled again and she raised her eyebrows, smiling back without allowing it to reach her eyes.

"I agree. Please, do as you see fit and I'll see that your rooms and meals are prepared." They bowed to one another as Green summoned his men to enter the cold again.

Lady Winter shivered as he left and called Elsie to her side. "Prepare rooms for Captain Green and his men, and for the numbers my uncle will bring. I'll inform the kitchens that they need to prepared more food."

She gathered her skirts and moved up the hall, making her way into the corridor and down toward the kitchens.

* * *

He stood at attention, holding his helmet under his arm and glaring out of the corner of his eye at the nervous soldier guarding the door. The young boy in uniform with his knocking knees and shaking hands distracted him. With a glare the boy froze, eyes widening in fear.

With a shake of his head he stared straight at the door. It creaked and he clicked his heels together before entering, striding the length of the hall to kneel before the throne. His knee complained at the motion but he forced himself to maintain the position until the man on the throne spoke to him.

"General, please, there is no reason to stand on parade here. We're old friends, stand and be counted John."

John stood, standing at attention again, meeting the gray eyes of the man on the throne. "I would still honor you as my king."

"John, that's not how one friend treats another."

"One of us is a general and one of us is a king. There cannot be friends as there used to be here, Your Majesty." John continued to stand at attention and studied the King.

"The gray hair, perfectly set with the golden crown atop his head, shone in the light from the windows. His clean-shaven face rose as he leaned back, pulling at the black furs and green clothing. The weight he bore under the crown echoed in his posture on the seat.

"Yes, the burden of my calling." The King noted before standing and walking to John's side. "I called you here because I need you to accompany me to the north. There's a position there I desire you occupy."

"I hear that Captain Carson of the Northern Keep is being transferred. Is it that you need me to go and take his post protecting your niece?"

"Word does travel fast. And yes, I do desire you protect her." They left the hall, heading toward the courtyard. "I need Captain Carson here, to aid the running of my house since my last steward died of fever."

"I was sorry to hear of his passing."

"As was I. Without him my house is falling to shambles and I'm helpless in the face of my enemies." He made a face at John, who only raised an eyebrow while his face remained stone. "You're the only one I trust and I need to rearrange the board, to keep my friends in positions where I can rely on their focus to guide my attention in other places."

"I'm yours to command, Your Majesty." John stopped as the king did at his horse. "Do you desire that I accompany you?"

"that's why I called for your division to met me here. You're to be our guards until I reach the North Keep."

"Will any of my men be staying with me, sir?" John looked up as the King mounted his horse and took the proffered reins.

"Some, yes. But you won't need all of them in the moors of the north." The King leaned down. "Don't worry, John, you'll like it there. The weather's like your temperament."

John nodded and placed his helmet over his dark hair and mounted his horse, following the king out of the courtyard while looking ahead into the whiteness.

* * *

Lady Winter pulled at her sleeve. The gown pinched her arms, binding them to her sides and making movement difficult. She shifted and shivered as the doors opened, blowing cold air into the stone hall. Two trumpeters entered and blared, the echoes ringing in Lady Winter's ears.

She grimaced, wishing she could raise her arms to cover her ears, but they finished quickly and disappeared into the shadows of the doors as the King entered. Lady Winter bowed to him, dropping low to the floor as he approached her. His feet came in her view and he lowered his hand to her.

"It's been far too long Uncle." She rose and took his hand. He pulled her hand to his mouth and kissed it.

"It truly has, Anna. Unfortunately business of the kingdom keeps me occupied." He turned to Captain Green, at her right. "And how are you finding the north, Captain?"

"I only arrived today sir but I'm sure there is beauty under the snow." Lady Winter rolled her eyes as she caught Green's glance in her direction.

"There certainly is." The King stepped back, "Allow me to introduce your new Captain of the Guard, General Bates."

He allowed the gold armored individual to step forward and remove his helmet. No one in the hall spoke and it was as if all the air left the room. All eyes turned to him and just as swiftly turned away.

Lady winter stared into the stern face before her. His eyes bore into hers, their black depths sucking her toward him. She extended a hand and he bent to kiss it. "It's a pleasure to meet you, General Bates."

"I'm sure the pleasure will be all mine, milady."

He stood, holding his helmet under his arm and Lady Winter turned back to her uncle, though she kept the General in the corner of her eye. Peeking out of the collar of his armor was a cording scar, starting just below his jaw line. Lady Winter held her tongue, curiosity almost getting the better of her before her uncle spoke again, taking her full attention.

"I've brought many men with me and I know that the North Keep doesn't have the capacity to house them all so I've sent dome into the town. I do hope that will be of no inconvenience."

"The townspeople will be grateful for the service, I'm sure." Lady Winter took her uncle's arm and led him toward the dining hall. "Thought I know that the cooks here prepared a great feast for those staying. How large of a contingent will join us for dinner?"

"Not many. Just Captain Green's men, General Bates, myself, and those traveling in my personal retinue."

Lady Winter turned to Elsie, Please prepare rooms for those staying here and see to their needs." Elsie nodded and hurried away, leading some of the other servants with her as the soldiers followed Lady Winter and the King into the dining hall.

"I'm curious, Anna, what you've done here? The North Keep looks far more hospitable than I remember."

"One makes do with their surroundings. The people in this area have been quite welcoming and willing to help in building up the Keep. They wanted to see it stand to its former glory and it brought unity to the region." She smiled and looked back at General Bates. "Though I'm curious how one of your most revered Generals is to help me here. Surely there's not so much danger for me in the north as there is for you in the south."

"General Bates earned himself a respite here in the north." The King took the head chair at the table and Lady Winter sat to his left, wincing as she tried to manipulate the dress to sit in the chair.

"The people'll be grateful to have such a distinguished individual defending them. Though," She looked across at General Bates, "There aren't many threats here except the elements. I believe you're a skilled individual but I do doubt even you could fight the winter."

"I only fight the threats I know can be defeated. Other threats must be managed, endured, and survived." Bates stared back at her and Lady Winter shivered slightly at the intensity of his gaze. "To be honest, Lady Winter, I'm not sure that snow is an enemy."

"I agree. I find snow quite enjoyable. A blizzard or blistering cold, however, are different stories." Lady Winter responded and then jumped slightly as a hand closed over hers.

"I believe there's nothing more beautiful than snow. Purity in its natural form." Captain Green leaned over and Lady Winter tried to take her hand from his grip. "I'll greatly enjoy being here to see the north in the winter."

"And we'll be honored to have you." Lady Winter extracted her hand and raised her eyebrows at Green. "Though, if General Bates is to be the Captain of the Guard here, surely the King will need you back at the capital."

"Captain Green spoke truly. General Bates and Captain Green will be stationed here." The King shifted as the first course arrived, "Unfortunately Anna, I haven't been entirely honest with you."

"Uncle?" She leaned forward, shifting away from Green's hand.

"There are rumors that our enemies beyond the moors are seeking a path to the kingdom through your territory. I need both of these fine soldiers here not only to defend the boarders but also," The King leaned forward and took Lady Winter's hands, "To protect you. You're the only family I have and I would hate to lose you."

"You're too sweet uncle." Lady Winter kissed his cheek. "And if it is the case that we are under siege then let us discuss things of lesser weight and enjoy the exquisite meal laid before us before we perish."

As she sat back in her chair her eyes met General Bates's and she noticed his gaze was part wonderment and part intrigue. She adjusted in her seat and smiled at him before beginning to eat.


	4. Cold is the Snow

John untied the armguard and set it gently to the side before removing his breastplate. He pulled the tie on his shirt just as a steady thump sounded on the wood of his door. With a sigh he walked the stone floor to the door and tugged it from the snug hold of the doorframe.

The sight before him took his breath a moment. Lady Winter stood in the doorway, a dressing gown tied about her waist with her hair twisted into a braid that rested on her shoulder like a rope of gold. He coughed, recovering himself, and nodded his head, "Lady Winter, how can I be of assistance?"

"Oh," She held up the hand not wrapped around the holder keeping her candle aloft. "I'm sorry to have disturbed you during your evening ritual. I've caught you quite off guard, General."

"I'm afraid you have." He shifted in the doorway, noting how her eyes seemed taken with the open portion of his shirt. "Whatever are you doing up at this hour, alone?"

"It's my home, General, and I don't fear the dark." She nodded toward his room, "Is your room to your liking?"

"It's more than satisfactory, milady."

"If not, my room is available." Lady Winter blushed when she realized what she said. With a nervous laugh she tried to recover, "What I meant to say is, if your room is not good enough then you may exchange for mine. It's the best room in the Keep."

"Then it belongs to you, milady, not to me."

"Well, should you change your mind General, it's available to you." She curtsied to him in her nightgown. "Good night."

"Good night Lady Winter." John shut the door, grumbling to himself. "Women, always worrying about comfort when there are bigger concerns."

A louder slam on the wood drew him back to the door and he opened it in a rush. Lady Winter stood there, her face stone. Her mouth thinned to a line before she opened it.

"I heard you, through the door, because it's not as thick as you might imagine. Further, in response to your comment, I'll have you know that my invitation was as a hostess. It is the duty of every woman responsible for the comfort of those in her house to ensure they are taken care of. As such, and being raised a lady, I take it very seriously. To continue, should you disapprove of your accommodations I can make others in the stables for you."

John grunted, clearing his throat. "I can see I offended you."

"Was that not your intention?"

"If it was I accomplished it rather poorly."

"That you did General." She stood as tall as her smaller frame could manage. "This is my home and I protect it, General. Comfort is not something I've known intimately in my life. Despite your beliefs to the contrary I'm hard enough for this Keep and its environs. Are you?"

Before he could answer she nodded curtly at him. "Good night."

She reached forward and pulled the door closed with a snap. John stared at it, blinking to himself before smiling slightly. He removed his shirt, so occupied in his thoughts that he barely noticed the knocking on his door until it sounded like something slapping the flat of their hand against it.

"Good gods above!" John wrenched the door open, staring at the surprised face of Captain Green. "Have you a god reason for being here at this moment Captain?"

"I was reporting that all entrances are guarded and the Keep is secured for the night."

"I should hope so." John noted Green's eyes tracing the scar that corded around his chest to stop just above where the line of his armor and uniform usually rested. "Have you something else to say, Captain?"

"No sir." Green snapped a salute and John returned it before dismissing the man down the hall.

John closed the door, moving to the fireplace to add another log to the crackling flames there. He lowered his candle to the fire and lit it before tucking it into the candleholder to bring it to the sill where the large window looked at the turn in the Keep. Out of the corner of his eye he noticed a glow through the window and squinted to find what it could be.

It was as if the air left the room. John gritted his teeth to control his reaction as he caught sight of Lady Winter in the room across the Keep. Her candle glowed in the window and John could see her form outlined as she removed her dressing gown, exposing her nightdress to his view.

She climbed into her bed, blowing out the candle but not before he saw how she looked up toward his window. John backed away, chest rising and falling with the speedy thump of his heart. With his fingers he extinguished his candle, peeking around the edge of the window to see the dark window in the distance.

He finished pulling off his trousers, climbing into bed to the awful creak of the mattress. Silence reigned through the room, the whistle and howl of the wind through the Keep the only companion to the night. John tried to ease himself to sleep, hoping to ignore the feeling creeping up his spine, and closed his eyes.

A thud opened his eyes faster than lightning. He sat up, squinting in the dark at his door but the sound echoed from deeper in the Keep. The blankets came off him in a flash and he closed his eyes to better hear the origins of the sound.

Flashing through the window caught his attention and John ducked down to see Lady Winter holding a stick to a candle and then it in the air. John ran to his door, opening it but an examination of the hall proved it would take far too long to reach the other side of the Keep through the corridors. He turned back to his room and lifted a log.

With a strong throw he broke the window. Wrapping a sheet he tore from the bed around his hand, John knocked shards from the frame before ducking out. His bare feet hit the snow-covered ledge and he hissed at the feeling.

Gritting his teeth John eased himself along the ledge, sliding in the wet snow. He held to the wall, seeking any chink in the rock for his fingers. Closer to the window he slipped, his heart stopping a moment. The drop below him echoed in the darkness.

John clung to the wall, the snow dribbling around him as he regained his footing. The echo of the same continued booming sound grew louder the closer he came to Lady Winter's room. He grasped the edges of the window frame, knuckles white and extremities tinged blue, as he knocked his forehead against the glass.

Lady Winter jumped slightly, holding the candle high enough to paint the surprise on her face in an orange hue. John nodded at the window and knocked his cloth-wrapped hand against the glass to demonstrate where to strike the glass. She grabbed one of the fire irons, motioning him away from the glass, and stabbed at the panes.

They cracked, eventually falling to her onslaught, and John slipped into the room. His whole body shivered, feet numb from the assault on the snow, and removed the sheet from his hand to take the iron from her fingers. He suppressed a shudder, dancing a bit on his toes while rubbing his arms to restore feeling in them, and nodded at Lady Winter's door.

"How strong is that wood?"

"Not strong enough for whatever's beating loudly enough to break the hinges." She pointed to the bending metal.

"Let me handle this milady." John tried to push her back but Lady Winter pushed forward.

"You, General, came here woefully unprepared with a weapon and stand in a lady's room wearing nothing but your insufficient underthings. I hardly think you're in a state to handle anything."

"I've fought in worse conditions with far less and more often then you have. Stand aside where I can defend you."

"I can defend myself." She argued, taking the discarded sheet and scraping burning pieces from the fire into it.

"I wouldn't be here if that were the case, milady." John argued, blood sluggishly returning sensation to his limbs and appendages. "I'm here to protect you."

"I think it's within my rights to defend my room if I cannot defend my Keep, General." She knotted the ends of the sheet together, the fabric already blackening. "If you don't agree then your exit is behind you."

John gripped the iron tighter in his hand. "Our only way is forward."

"I agree."

They took position as the door burst toward them. Lady Winter swung the coal-laden sheet at the man nearest her and it broke over his face, spray hot ash and burning wood over him. He dropped their makeshift battering ram, brushing over his clothes as they smoked, and successfully distracted himself long enough for John to bring the iron around and break his face.

John ducked the swing from the man's companion, launching up high enough to indent his elbow in the man's throat. Choking the man fell back against the groaning door and John ran the iron through his stomach and into the wood. It squealed back on the snapped hinges, dragging the man's legs over the floor with it.

A blow to John's shoulder had him doubling over, holding his arm close to his chest. He dodged the down stroke of a sword and stepped close enough to the man to bring his forehead to a satisfying crunch on the bridge of the man's nose. In the spurt of blood that distracted the man, John disarmed him and shoved the sword through the fourth and fifth rib.

He dropped the man to the floor and noted, breathing heavily, how Lady Winter pulled tight at the frayed end of a sheet he had wrapped around the last man's neck. John stepped forward, lending his strength to hers and held until the man collapsed.

"I think we'll want this one alive." He went to check the man but a sword shoved through the man's throat. John looked up to see Green, with ten soldiers, filling the doorway. "We needed him for questioning."

"I apologize General but my first prerogative is the Lady Winter's safety."

"Then you should've done a better job seeing to it." John grabbed Green, throwing him to the wall with his forearm pressing on the man's throat. "I thought you said all exits were secure and the Keep was safe for the night? Was that not the report you gave me before you turned in?"

Green batted at John's arm, trying to remove it but John pressed upward, sliding Green up the wall and off the floor. He choked a moment more before John dropped him, gasping and coughing to his knees on the floor. "Report your dereliction of duty, sir!"

"They must've got in before our sweep sir." Green's voice croaked, his hand massaging his neck. "My soldiers found no sign of forced entry."

"Then it would've been helpful to question our intruder as to his method of entry and ascertain if it truly was as you believe instead of, as I believe, your negligence." John hauled Green to his feet. "Sweep this Keep from top to bottom until you find out how they got in here and do not return until you have an answer for me. Is that understood?"

Green nodded, "Yes General."

"Good. Get out of my sight." John threw Green toward the door and the man stumbled, barely catching himself on the frame before hurrying into the corridor.

Over the thunder of his breathing and his blood John barely heard Lady Winter. He turned to her, frowning. "Milady?"

"I said, 'it would seem my earlier offer is now no longer a concern'." She motioned to the four bodies bleeding out on the stones of her room. "Given the destruction of my window and those now dead on my floor it seems a poor location to seek sleep now."

"I don't suppose you have a room less exposed to others where I might keep you better defended?"

Lady Winter thought for a moment before pointing toward the door. "This way."

They walked through the halls, Lady Winter instructing a few servants they passed to manage the mess in their rooms as John told his soldiers to dispose of the bodies. Weaving toward a smaller room Lady Winter opened the door. John entered first, checking its defensibility, and then motioned for Lady Winter to follow.

"This should be adequate for the night. We'll find something else in the morning."

"I only need a bed for the night, General."

John turned to her and noticed how her hands trembled. He went to her, enclosing her hands in his, and guided her to look at him. "You're safe now, milady. You do not need to be strong any longer."

She collapsed her weight against him, shuddering breaths releasing the tension in her body as the nervous energy of their exertions drained her. John dipped to lift her from the floor and carried her over to the bed. Laying her on it as carefully as he could, John went to take post back near the door.

She sat up, calling to him. "Please, I could not bear being alone at the moment."

John returned to her side, sitting close to her as he dared, and held her hand. "It's perfectly natural to feel as you do. Many men, after they've fought for the first time, are riled with emotions they do not rightly understand either."

Her nervous giggle pierced his heart. "You must think me rather weak then, given what you have seen and endured to watch me crumble before you now."

"I find you rather a strong exemplar, milady." John settled closer to her, shivering. "I'm honored to have fought beside you."

"And I'd be honored if you would wrap yourself in a blanket before you freeze to death." She pushed a blanket at him and John obediently wrapped himself in it. "It does not justice to your service or your scar if you die in this room now."

"My scar?"

"It was hard to miss the wrapping scar when you had no shirt to cover it." Lady Winter moved slightly, to give him more room on the bed. "And, if you don't find it too improper, you may share the space here with me."

John moved over as much as he dared, shifting farther away when the door opened and servants entered to light a fire. Lady Winter caught sight it and motioned the servants over.

"Please find a cot for the General. I'll need the protection for the evening and he needs a place to sleep."

They bowed and scraped away, returning quickly with a cot. John dragged it toward the bed as the door closed, and settled on it with the blanket. He smiled at Lady Winter, the concern easing almost immediately off her face.

"To keep you safe, milady."

She smiled, sliding down to rest on the pillows. "I feel safe, General."

"Then I've done my duty, milady."


	5. That Ill Winds Bear and Blow

Anna paced the top of the wall, blowing out a breath to see it fog in the air as the snow drifted down in gentle flakes. She pulled her cloak tighter about herself, turning only to see General Bates approach, and she smiled at him. Returning his bow with a curtsey, she motioned to the space around her.

"Come join me General. I promise I don't bite unless asked nicely."

He grinned at her, "I'll remember that."

She smiled back, looking down a moment before meeting his face again. "I want to thank you, again, for staying with me last night. It was a great comfort to me."

"I'd like to apologize for not being dressed for it the way I should've been." He reddened slightly and she bit her lip to hold back a laugh. "I did react quickly instead of smartly."

"If you'd waited for a pair of trousers then there's a risk I would've fallen to the onslaught."

He shrugged, "I believe you could've held yourself for a time but I'm glad I responded when I did. To better preserve you in one piece as I believe your uncle would disapprove of my allowing you to lose life or limb on my first night."

"I believe you taking action when you did was brave and courageous. I expected nothing less from the great General Bates."

General Bates shuffled in the snow, sending the flakes on his shoulders drifting toward the ground. "As I said, it's my duty."

"It doesn't diminish the effort, General."

"I guess it doesn't." He conceded before clearing his throat. "As such, I wanted to offer my apologies for comments I made before I aided in your rescue last night. They weren't respectful of you and they were far from correct. I do hope you can forgive me my impertinence and impropriety."

"Everyone's entitled to their opinions." Anna adjusted her cloak. "More to the point, I believe that I'd be a very petty woman if I couldn't forgive comments made in error but later rectified in practice."

"And you're far from being a petty woman, milady."

"I'll take that compliment for what it means and for your good opinion of me." She smiled, then took a deep breath, "Though, while I'm not a petty woman I am a very curious one."

"Oh?" He raised an eyebrow, "And why would you say that?"

"I have a very personal question for you and I do wonder if you'd allow me to ask it. It is rather invasive."

"You can ask me anything milady." General Bates opened his hands to her, "After last night I believe I could not be questioned by anyone less worthy of whatever answer I could give you."

Anna bit her lip, trying to contain her smile. "You might regret giving me that kind of leeway."

"I doubt it."

"We'll put it to a test then." She pointed at him, "How did you get that scar on your chest?"

General Bates blinked, as if caught off-guard by her question. "My scar?"

"It was rather obvious when you crashed through my window without a shirt." Anna started walking down the wall, General Bates clanking slightly behind her as his scabbard and armor grated a bit. "One doesn't get something like that without violence and blood in a way I don't think I've ever seen. Even after last night."

"You'd be right about it being from an act of great violence but not the kind of violence I think you'd expect me to detail for you."

"Then what?"

"It was the act of a woman." General Bates chewed on his cheek a bit. "She wasn't very happy about a decision I made that affected her negatively."

"Did you leave her?"

"I did." General Bates rubbed his hands together, as if wrapping and unwrapping them. "We'd been together when we were young but I changed when she didn't. I came to the realization we found ourselves on opposite sides of a great chasm but she couldn't see it."

"Were you married?"

General Bates flexed his jaw slightly, "In a way. It wasn't a marriage after the traditional sense but it was a sort of one."

"Was she foreign?"

"We were both rather foreign but the more to one another than to anyone else." General Bates stopped at the corner, squinting into the distance. "When I left her she marked me for life."

"A visible reminder of what? Better days?"

"Of what she could do if she exercised her skills."

"Quite the declaration then." Anna took a deep breath, aiming down the stairs and smiling to herself as she heard him follow her. "What brought you into her circle in the first place?"

"Fate I guess. But I regret it more everyday." They reached the bottom of the stairs and he faced Anna. "If it's not too impertinent, might I ask a question of my own?"

"I find it only fair." She spread her hands toward him. "Ask away General."

"Would you call me John, when we're in private?" He coughed, as if trying to hide his feelings of awkwardness. "It's been such a long time since I heard someone call me by my name and given what you've endured with me I'd want you to be someone who can call me that."

"If you'd like." She lowered her voice, "Given our positions it could only be in private, if that's alright."

"I more than understand."

"I am curious why you want me to address me by your name…" Anna grinned, "John."

"Because I've only ever heard it used in cruelty and anger toward me." He paused, catching himself before he allowed emotion to escape. "I feel, from you, I might actually hear it used in joy or affection… to whatever degree I have of it from you."

"You can trust that I'll give nothing but affection." Anna put a hand out but stopped herself touching him. "It's the nature of who I am that I don't really know how to give any other emotions."

"I doubt you'd have anything but kindness for anyone."

"It's part of who I am." Anna sighed, "It seems my maid finds my behavior of standing out in the cold rather ill advised."

General Bates looked over his shoulder, smirking. "Perhaps her irritation is with me being alone with you."

"Why? We're out in the open where anyone could see me so I guess the issue is just that I can here without her and she never thinks I wear thick enough clothing for the weather." Anna shook her head, "She forgets I was practically born and bred here so weather is nothing to me."

"Well, your uncle was correct." General Bates guided her back to her waiting maid. "The weather here matches my temperament."

"I don't know." She swayed in front of him, acting coy. "I'd say that perhaps the situation of your temperament is not as simple as the weather. Given the way the weather here changes I'd say you have about as much depth."

"You have a high opinion of me."

"Not many men are willing to climb over the ledge, break two windows, and then fight off attackers with a fire iron." Anna nodded to him, "I'll see you as dinner then General."

"Milady." General Bates clicked his heels together as Anna left.

"Milady," Elsie chided her as they walked back inside the Keep, "I do wish you'd chose something warmer."

"I'm already sweating as it is Elsie. I don't need anything else." Anna risked a look back over her shoulder to see General Bates… John, took his duty back to he top of the wall. "He's very dedicated to duty isn't he?"

"He's got a great history and a record that people talk about but I can't say anything personally for him." Elsie acknowledged, handing over a paper for Anna to see. "I'll say his dedication could be greater as we now have to repair two windows, your door, and clean the stones of your bedroom."

"He's put Captain Green to finding out how they got in." Anna clicked her tongue against her teeth, "Though I don't know what kind of success he'll have there."

"Why'd you say that milady?"

"I don't know." Anna stopped, working her fingers around the edges of the paper in her hands as she spoke. "Something about him is not only very forward but very insistent."

"He does make my skin crawl a bit."

"Not like that. It's more…" Anna motioned with her hands, "The hair on the back of my neck stands on end."

"I know what you mean milady. But your uncle must think he's something if he's left him to help General Bates guard you."

"I wonder if my uncle didn't leave him here so he didn't have to deal with him." Anna looked at the paper. "These are fine for menus. Have the guard served in two shifts, to make sure there's no overlap with them and the servants, and I'll take dinner with the General, the Captain, and any lieutenants."

"If only there were more women to keep you company milady."

"I agree. More women to take their eyes off me for once." Anna walked up the stairs toward her room.

* * *

John craned his neck back, eyeing the broken windows from the ground and clacking his teeth together while he thought.

"You think too much John." He turned, face pale, and saw Vera standing there. "Don't worry. Only you can see and hear me. Though I'd watch your responses so you don't look like a mad man when you talk back."

"Trying to convince me not to speak?" He bit out through clenched teeth.

"Trying to talk you out of this crusade and back up there," She pointed above them, "With me."

"Why?"

"Because then we'd be having fun with these people." Vera waved at the Keep. "These little people with all their miniscule problems and lack of understand of a universe greater than the tiny plot of earth they strut around like over proud ants."

"Whom you'd like nothing more than to crush under your boot?"

"There's a great many things I enjoy doing to their kind. Crushing is just one of them." Vera came closer, "You used to enjoy crushing them with me. You'd laugh when we toppled empires or led intrigues that fractures whole nations. We forged the world in blood, you and I."

"Aren't you tired of drinking it?"

"It's what feeds me."

"And not something more?" John shook his head, "Why Vera?"

"Why what?"

"Why come here?" John pointed around them, "Why bother with me at all?"

"Because it's fun John." Vera leered at him, "You used to remember what fun it was when we did this sort of thing together but maybe, being on this end of the stick, will remind you why you need to come back to me."

John leaned toward her, growling, "I'd rather die than submit to being back in your hold again."

"I don't think you'll say that again once I start putting your Lady Winter in the mix." Vera walked a pace away, pointing up toward the broken window. "It was rather daring, your saving her, but I don't know what good it'll do. Even if she survives those coming for her, she'll die like all the rest. Fade away to dust and decay like anyone else."

"Don't you dare toy with her."

"There's nothing you can do to stop me now John." Vera clicked her tongue at him. "You lost your power when you fell from such a great height."

"Then why toy with her? She's nothing to you and you said as much."

"Because you spurned me John." She pointed a finger at him. "I warned you this would happen when you fell. I hope you didn't think I was going to make it easy on you."

"I wasn't ever foolish enough to give myself over to false hope but I want to know why she's in all this. What's she to you?"

"It's got nothing to do with what she is to me." Vera took a deep breath, "It's about what she might mean to you."

"I thought the point of this was for me to find love and affection."

"No, this is about pain."

"What?"

"What's worse than to watch your pain as you struggle to free yourself only to fail over and over again?" Vera shrugged, "It's all part of the game John. Remember the game we used to play and you'll know what's coming."

She vanished and John hung his head. "I do know what's coming and that's why I'm afraid."


	6. People Will Find You

John arranged his uniform, opening his door to see Captain Green standing there. He raised an eyebrow and Green fumbled over himself to salute. John returned it and forced Green to drop his. "Yes, Captain?"

"They're ready to serve supper for us."

"I heard the gong the same as you."

"I just thought-"

"It would seem, Captain, that you could use to spend a little more time thinking about your duty than about how I am." John held his face like stone, "Please tell me, Captain, did you discover how our attackers from last night entered the Keep?"

"Not as yet General. We're still interviewing the staff but they're sure the attackers lay in wait for some time before attacking."

"Someone who knows the Keep well enough to find Lady Winter's quarters without aid, in the dark, and enter unnoticed into the Keep?" John shook his head, "There's too much coincidence to that theory."

"Then what do you suggest, General?"

"That someone helped them. I do hope you're reviewing your soldiers."

"They're above reproach, sir."

"But not above my interrogation or insistence that you do something about finding the weak link in your chain." John held Green's gaze, "Be as noble and stoic as you like, Captain, but those men entered this Keep on your watch after you assured me the Keep was secure for the evening."

"If they came in-"

"When they entered this Keep is irrelevant to the reality that they did, Captain. Is that understood?"

"Yes sir." Green ground out and John raised an eyebrow.

"Do you always border on the insubordinate, Captain?"

"No sir."

"Then I'd suggest you check your attitude and your pride. This is about the safety of Lady Winter and it is our duty, as ordered by the King himself, to see to that. If you find that beneath your skills I'm sure the King could use you and whatever ineffective soldiers you brought with you back by his side." John waited, "Would you like to return there?"

"I'm only in the service of my King and I go where he bids and do as he instructs."

"Then do so, Captain, and may I never need remind you of your obligation in the defense of this Keep and its Lady again. Dismissed."

Green snapped a salute with clinical exactness but John caught the smolder in his eyes. John returned the salute and waited for Green to leave before buckling on his sword. He made his way through the Keep to the dining hall, noting the soldiers running their own patrols while his boots tapped along the stone.

The long table beckoned through the open doors of the dining hall and General Bates entered. All the chairs in the room scrapped along the floor, the gathered lieutenants and Captain Green all standing to salute him. John returned the salute, motioning them all to stand at-ease while he took the open seat across from Captain Green and to the right of the chair at the head of the table where Lady Winter sat.

It sat empty.

John frowned, eyeing the hall before turning to Green. "Did any of Lady Winter's servants inform you she'd be detained?"

"None reported anything out of the ordinary, sir."

John nodded, walking away from the table and out into the hallway. He noted Lady Winter's lady's maid making her way toward him and put out a hand. She stopped, waiting for John to approach her.

"How may I help you General?"

"Where is Lady Winter?"

"She chose a tray in her room earlier in the evening and is taking her nightly constitutional with a walk on the walls. I was just on my way to inform yourself and the Captain that you would be dining alone this evening."

John shifted his jaw before turning to her, "Please inform Captain Green and his lieutenants to eat without Lady Winter as well as myself."

"Will you take a tray in your room General?"

"I'll find something. I should see to Lady Winter first."

"She's well, General."

John managed a tight smile, "I need to ensure that for myself. It is part of the reason I'm here."

"If you wish General." The woman pointed back over her shoulder, "She's walking the walls."

"Thank you." John weaved through the Keep to the outer courtyard. He studied the walls until he noticed a shape making slow progress toward the south wall. With his longer strides he ascended the stairs and quickly took pace behind her.

With a chuckle she addressed him, her back still to him. "Is there something on your mind, General?"

"I just wondered if my men, or myself, had done anything to offend you."

Lady Winter turned, "Offend me? Wherever might you've gathered that impression?"

"You chose a tray in your room."

"I also mend stockings for my servants. Is that too pedestrian as well?"

"It's nothing to do with what anyone might think of your choice but the why you chose that."

She raised an eyebrow, "Do you really think so highly of your company?"

"I'd like to think you thought highly of my company."

"It wasn't your company I wanted to avoid." She turned to the moors, a faint glow in the dark drawing her eyes there. "I love when snow blankets the moors like this. It covers such a multitude of sins held in their marshy throes with a reminder of how beautiful the world can be."

"Is that what you think about snow, milady?"

"That's what I think about you as well." Lady Winter turned to him, "I believe you're here looking for something General."

"Perhaps I was looking for you, milady."

"I wasn't talking about this moment."

"Neither was I." John held her gaze until the red tinge to Lady Winter's cheeks had her putting her fingers up to touch the warming area.

"I think the same of you." Her voice lowered, "I notice you extinguish your candle before mine every night."

John almost bit through his tongue in surprise before jumping to respond. "I apologize for any impropriety or perceived infraction, milady, I promise-"

"General," Her voice cut through his anxious response. "If I felt there was something address I would've but I don't believe there is."

"You don't?"

"No," Lady Winter shook her head, "A woman likes to know she appeals to the men she finds attractive."

John set his jaw, "Then, pardon my impertinence, is that why you entertain the flirtations of Captain Green?"

Lady Winter took her turn at a frown, "I beg your pardon?"

"I've noticed his advances to you and your responses."

"What is it that you believe you noticed?"

"I'm a general because I was a good soldier and a good soldier is observant. Those skills allowed me to notice how he touches you and flirts shamelessly with you." John tried to focus his thoughts. "Those are the kind of behaviors, if acted upon, that'll threaten your future and possibly give advantages to our enemies."

"And you think I encourage his advances with those risks?"

"I think we could do more to discourage his advantages before he thinks we're his friend."

"I promise, Captain Green is no one's friend but his own."

"Then I apologize for doubting you."

"It's healthy wariness, that's an approach worthy of the General charged with my well-being." She paused, "I'm surprised you would be so frank in your assessment of your friends, General."

"He's not my friend, milady." John shuffled in place, "Nor should he ever be yours, if any of us know what's good for us."

"A man as dedicated as yourself must find it difficult to deal with a man as flagrantly oblivious as Captain Green." She shrugged, "Frustrating at the least and deadly at the most, I expect."

"I find him overly ambitious, arrogant, and too attentive to his appearance over his duty, milady."

"Then we're very alike in our opinions of him." Lady Winter walked to the bend in the wall before pivoting to face him again. "His advances, so you're aware General, are as unwelcome as his condescension."

"I do hope your statement isn't a misplaced attempt to placate any feelings of mine, milady." John risked a step forward, his hand brushing over hers. "Because I do not need your mind worrying over something as inconsequential as my feelings."

"Who said they were inconsequential?"

"Many people."

"And if I want to?" She took a step forward as well, shrinking the distance separating them. "If I want to worry over you? To show my concern for you?"

"Then I'd advise you that I'm not worth the effort you'd expend on my behalf."

"A woman likes to feel desired. Not just in the way men like Captain Green express desire with their raised staffs at my physical presence." John coughed but Lady Winter continued unfazed. "But also for her mind, her wit, her compassion, and her vision. Men who return those sentiments are worthy of any effort expended."

"It would seem, milady, I've no reason to be anything but awed by you on a continual basis."

"I do hope that your awe is a positive notation."

John closed the distance, standing above her smaller frame, "It's exceedingly positive." He risked a hand toward her cheek, caressing there briefly before pulling away, "I've never met a woman like you."

Her breath clouded between them, heavy with her slow exhales, for a moment until she responded. John felt a tingle over his fingers as she returned his hand to her face, stroking the skin of her cheek over his rougher callouses before dropping it. Lady Winter smiled, "And I've never met a man like you, General."

They stood, with little space between them, until Lady Winter curtsied to him, "If you might ensure you watch through your window a bit more closely tonight, General, I'll also remind you that the new windows they placed in our rooms open now."

John choked, the blush rushing over his neck. "Is that an invitation milady?"

She smiled at him, pressing past him to walk away. "I would hope you think you General. Even more," She turned to him over her shoulder, "That you might accept it."

John watched her leave, taking deep breaths as he turned to the wall. His fingers clawed into the stone while cold air washed his lungs. Just as he went to follow her he heard a voice that cut through his musings to shatter his moment.

"She's forward." John gritted his jaw, hackles rising with the appearance of Vera perching herself on the wall. "You always liked them with a bit of fire."

"Don't try to pervert her."

"I'm not the one who'll ravage her, will I?" Vera's sneering grin pulled back to flash her teeth at him. "You're the one with plans to leave her ravished and wanting."

"It's not like that."

"It's always like that John."

"You don't know anything."

"I know everything." Vera clicked her tongue against her teeth, "I've watched you for years Johnny and I know how you operate. I know how you think. I know what you think."

"You don't know me anymore. You haven't for a long time."

"I've watched you for an eternity, John Bates, and if you think I couldn't guess what you're planning to do with her tonight then you're a fool."

"I was only a fool when I thought we were a good match." John practically spit at her, "Or when I thought we were right in what we did."

"We ruled the world, John."

"We destroyed it." John shook his head, "And I already told you I wanted no part in it any longer. That life, the person I was then, was nothing compared to what I am now."

"Human and broken?"

John shook his head, "You don't understand because you can't."

"Can't understand what?" Vera cackled, "Understand that you've given up power and grandeur and immortality to wallow in the cesspit that is this world?"

"I understand compassion, Vera. I comprehend charity and kindness in a way I never did before." John pointed at the Keep, "And it's because of her. She helps me understand that. Humanity helps me understand that."

"Why would you care to understand that?"

"Because we had the power to be better. We should've been better than we were." John opened his arms to her, "Do you realize how much better we could've made the world?"

"The world runs itself into the muck, John."

"We could've guided it better."

Vera snorted, "I didn't want to guide it better. And neither did you when we were young."

"We're not young anymore. We can't claim ignorance any longer."

"We were left without a guide John." Vera tossed her head, "We did what we wanted because there are no rules."

"It was wrong, Vera. It's always been wrong and will always be wrong."

"It's not wrong."

"It is, Vera. Deep down in that crevasse you call a heart you know it's wrong too." John walked away from her, "I left that life because if I couldn't be who I should've been there then I shouldn't have been there at all."

"You gave up what made us great."

"No, I gave up what made us foolish and vain."

Vera's face contorted as she pointed a shaking finger at him, "You abandoned me John to a life we were supposed to live and rule together."

"We didn't deserve it and we didn't use it for the betterment of others. What was the point in staying where we only made one another unhappy?"

"Because we're the only ones of our kind John. You abandoned me to that life."

"You cast me out, Vera. Whatever guilt you want to lay at my feet it can't be that." John walked away, "It could never be that."

"You'll regret your decision John Bates."

He ignored her, walking toward the stairs until a strike of lightning hit the stone right before him. John stepped back, turning to Vera again. "If I were of another constitution, I would fear you."

"You should fear me."

"I don't fear you Vera." John shook his head, "I haven't feared you for a very long time and I won't again."

"You should because of what I can do to that woman."

"Threaten her all you like but remember," John leveled his voice, "I was always stronger than you and, should the need arise, I can end you."

"You can't of you would've already."

"Perhaps." John tilted his head to the side, "But do you really want to take the chance that I can cast you down to live this life with me? Will you truly risk an existence here, forever, scraping through the grime of this world?"

He left her, the storm in her expression sending a small shiver down his spine. But he ignored it. Just as he left his life with her behind he walked away from her for the second time.


	7. In the Dark of the Night

Anna arranged her dressing gown, occasionally glancing up to the window to see across the turn of the Keep to see the General's window. She checked the latch on the window, ensuring it was still unlocked, and paced the room. Starting at the door she reached the bed before turning back around.

Someone knocked on the door and Anna jumped. Pulling her dressing gown closed she walked to the door, grabbing the handle to get the wooden door out of its bearing in the wall. Her face only failed to fall because she practiced her appearance.

"Captain Green, how can I help you?"

"It's more about how I can help you." He nodded toward the interior of her room, "Might I come in?"

"That wouldn't be at all proper, Captain." Anna pushed the door so only her tiny body was visible in the opening. "How would you help me?"

"I believe you're under the delusion that General Bates is on your side, milady."

"I beg your pardon?"

"The General is not a man you can trust."

"And why would you think that about your commanding officer?"

Captain Green shuffled in place, "His habit of keeping to himself, of refusing to make friends, and acting in a secretive fashion are all due to the fact that he's a spy."

"A spy?" Anna snorted, "I don't think you understand that man at all, Captain."

"Excuse me, milady, but I believe it is you who doesn't understand." Captain Green took a step closer but Anna held herself as tall as she could go, raising her eyebrow. He raised a hand, "The reason your uncle allowed him here is because he doesn't trust him."

"Perhaps it's you he doesn't trust, Captain Green. Have you thought about that?" Anna pointed her hand down the hall. "You need to leave now."

"Milady-"

"Say whatever you like, Captain. But it is you who doesn't understand and I doubt you ever will." She went to close the door but his hand stopped it. "Remove your hand, Captain."

"You can't tell me that old man has your trust."

"He has all of my trust. Now remove your hand or I'll be forced to have someone remove it for you permanently."

He laughed at her, "You don't understand. The men here are my men, they answer only to me."

"I don't." Anna gasped as a thick arm wrapped itself around Green's neck, pulling him back. "I believe she told you to leave and you're refusal to do so represents a failure to comply with a direct order from your mistress."

"I-" Green tried to speak, puling at the arm wrapping tighter and tighter around his neck.

"I believe there's a nice cell for you here, Captain, since you won't be needing your command any longer if you don't know how to use it appropriately." John manhandled Green into a wall, holding him there while he arranged a tighter hold on the man's arms. "And any of your men that appear to follow your mistaken orders will meet a similar fate."

Anna tried to control her breathing, her hands shaking on the door as she nodded to John. "Thank you, General. It would appear I am in your debt again."

"It's why I'm here, milady." John pushed Green forward, "Move or I cut off your legs and drag you."

Anna shut the door to her room, bolting it while breathing heavily. Her hands continued shaking and she sat herself on the edge of her bed. Once she eased her breathing she stood. The dark outside her window betrayed the time it took her to calm her nerves and she steeled herself for her next move. Walking to the door she pulled it open with a groan in the wood.

Taking a candle from her table she walked through the corridors and stopped in front of John's door. Waiting a moment she raised her fist to rap her knuckles against the wood of his door. She smiled to herself, thinking back to the first night when she did the same thing, and waited for him.

His door creaked and he blinked in surprise at the sight of her, holding her candle and keeping her dressing gown closed by folding her arms over her chest. She smiled and brought up her other hand to protect the flame from the rush of air that threatened her candle. His mouth fell open and she cleared her throat.

"I hope I'm not disturbing you."

"No, I thought you would be resting, given your ordeal." John straightened, holding himself with his shoulders back, "Is there anything else you need, milady?"

"After what you just did to save me I don't think so."

"I did only what I have sworn to do."

"It's more than that." Anna swallowed, her flame wavering slightly due to a different shake in her hands now. "You came to my rescue in many different ways since you've been here and I wanted to thank you, in person, for it."

"Your gratitude is appreciated but not necessary. It was my duty."

"It was Captain Green's duty as well but he chose not to fulfill it." Anna lowered her candle slightly, "What you chose to do says a great deal about you, John, and I believe it only says good things."

He ducked his head, "I'm grateful to have earned your admiration, milady."

Anna smiled, turning to leave, but stopped. "How was it that you found yourself outside my room at just the right moment, John?"

"I thought that Captain Green's failure to secure the Keep after my first night here meant I should do it myself."

"And have you satisfied yourself with the security of the Keep in the weeks that you've been here?"

"I've found the men under Captain Green's command are not entirely trustworthy but they're also not all terrible soldiers. They just need better training."

"Have they taken well to the training?"

"They will or they'll find themselves in a similar situation to Captain Green." John cleared his throat, "I'd hate to disturb the remainder of your evening. If there's nothing more you need I should allow you to rest."

"Thank you." Anna nodded to him, "You need it as well."

"Your concern for me is touching and I'm beyond flattered, milady."

"And I'll bid you goodnight." Anna nodded to him, careful of her candle as she curtsied, and headed back toward her room.

Once inside she set her candle on the table beside her bed. As she did she bent to see the lights extinguished in John's room. Anna paused, staring at the window and drew off her dressing gown.

Smiling to herself she dropped it on the chair beside her bed before turning her back to the window. A shiver ran down her spine, all her better judgments telling her she should blow out her candle and stop this foolishness but she silenced the voice. With a deep breath she unlaced her nightgown and dropped it to the floor. With a step forward she bent slightly, blowing out the candle.

The chill of winter raised all the hairs on her body and she almost dived under the covers. But her nerves sustained her and Anna pulled them back just enough to keep her small body warm. She burrowed under, resigning herself to wait.

It was not too long before she heard tapping at her window. Anna turned, pushing the blankets off herself to press at the glass. The pane shifted and John entered the room.

They both stood there, unsure what to do next. Anna gathered her breath as she stepped into the thin light of the crescent moon. All she could see were his eyes, watching her every move, and she raised a hand to touch his face with her fingers. "If you're afraid-"

He silenced her with his fingers to her lips. She leaned toward him and he bent his head to kiss her. At first he was as stiff as she was and for a moment she wondered if he touched another in this way before. When he claimed a wife in his past Anna knew he must have but his actions were those of an unsure boy.

John broke from her slowly, "Milady-"

"No," She shook her head, "I'm not 'milady' here. I'm just Anna. Please let me be Anna here."

"I… Anna," He let out a breath, "I have done this before. There was a time when women were disposable, expendable pleasures for evenings or for a few days."

"I'm not ignorant of that."

"But," John cut in, quieting her, "I let go of that a long time ago. I've been celibate ever since because of what women might mean."

"Romance?"

"Weakness." John shook his head, "I may be without practice but I'm not without experience."

"I hoped not." Anna went to kiss him again and he succumbed to her advances.

Now his lips softened and she rotated her head to deepen the kiss. She slid the tip of her tongue along his lips. The surprise in his opened his mouth and Anna took her advantage to work her tongue inside his mouth.

He pulled back and she worried she had pressed her advantage too far. Her fingers trembled on his cheek but he caught her hand, holding tightly there as he turned his head to kiss her palm. John lowered her hand, stroking his fingers through her hair.

"I wouldn't want to put you in a position you might regret, Anna."

"I've done this before."

John shook his head, "You've never been here before."

"But you have."

He shook his head again, "I've sought pleasure in the arms of many women but I've never been here before."

Anna blinked, "I don't understand."

"I've never been with a woman I loved in this moment before."

"You love me?"

"I've never loved anyone the way I love you." John paused, "I've never loved before but I know that I love you."

"I've never loved before either but I do believe I love you, John Bates." Anna raised herself on her tiptoes to kiss him again.

He responded immediately, taking her face in his hands, and tilted her head sideways to take more of her mouth with his own. She clung to him, her hands gripping into the fabric of his shirt. One of his hands smoothed down the skin of her arm to guide her back toward the bed.

Anna laid back on the blankets, the slight tremor in her body immediately soothed by the gentle kiss he laid on her forehead. He kissed down to her lips, sucking them a moment until both had to breathe. She heaved in a breath, almost whining when he pulled away, but smiling when he pulled his clothing from his body.

Even in the weak light of the fire and the moon she had to grip the sheets to stop herself making any sound. John crawled over the bed toward her, lowering his lips to hers again. Her hands flew from their position on the sheets to his face as if it would offer her better purchase.

However, as she soon broke the kiss to whimper, his fingers found purchase on her body. They glided over her skin, sending ripples of pleasure through her. His lips took their time at her jaw, caressing her skin with care, and showed the same attention to the column of her neck. One of his hands slipped over her skin to hold her in place so he could better lavish his attentions on her.

Anna dug her fingers into his hair, keening gasps escaping her starving lungs as her body struggled past the depth of feeling to fully fill her chest. With his knees on either side of her hips she could almost imagine he surrounded her just to better bury her in gratification. She moaned and he shifted down her body to trail his lips further over her skin.

Hesitant clutches of her fingers against his scalp and shoulders were met with confident licks of his tongue and gentle massages by his skilled hands. Anna arched her back when he kissed over the top of one breast and cried out when he kneaded the other. The tandem work of his lips and hands left her writhing over the blankets until she screeched at the closing of his mouth over a nipple. Her nails were claws then, sinking into the skin of his shoulders and neck to keep him locked on her.

John needed no more encouragement than the response of her body to him. His hands never stopped moving, the burn and scrape of his calloused but gifted caresses skimming and shaping to leave her relaxed and on edge at the same time. His tongue persisted in driving the sounds of her throat higher and higher until he nipped at her other breast.

Anna cried out, risking her hold on his with one of her own hands to force the back of it between her teeth. She went to bite down but John paused, grabbing her wrist in his hand. Kissing over it with the sweetest of touches he placed her wrist above her head to take her mouth again.

When he broke away, Anna leaning her head forward to continue the only means of expression she had for the emotions roiling inside her, John only leaned down to whisper in her ear. "Please don't quiet yourself. I couldn't bear it if you were silent now."

"Someone will hear."

"Then they'll hear." John paused, running the back of a finger down her cheek. "Unless you're afraid."

"I'm only afraid I won't-"

"You're perfect, just as you are." John kissed her cheek, "I wouldn't replace this moment or you for anything in the world."

"Then please," Anna shifted under him, "Finish this for me."

John grinned, kissing the hollow between her collarbones, and drew a straight line to her stomach with his lips. His hands gripped her hips while his large shoulders pushed her legs apart so he could settle between them. Anna froze, the reality of the situation dawning on her above the cries of her body for what was coming, and John paused.

Placing a hand on her stomach John held her gaze, forcing her to stare back as his fingers traced over her folds. Anna squirmed. Her experience, limited in experience though not in theory, had her biting her lip. His fingers opening her folds sent a reaction to her legs to close but John's body stopped her.

"Anna," His voice floated toward her and Anna blinked away the tears of fear gathering in her eyes. "There's no reason to be afraid. I promise you don't have to be afraid. Not now, or ever. Not with me."

Anna nodded, not trusting her voice. John shifted to her side, stretching himself to lay next to her while one of his legs stayed between hers to hold her open. One of his hands ran up to her neck, tracing her cheek with his fingers. His other fingers stroked over her so her body shuddered in his grasp.

"Just look at me and relax. There's nothing to fear."

Anna watched his eyes, her hips moving on their own toward his questing fingers. When he dipped a finger into her Anna groaned. With a finger inside her and two running over the folds from the outside Anna imagined that nerves she never believed existed fired to life. She thrust toward him, her ignorance surrendering to the primitive instinct that guided her now.

John smiled, leaning forward to kiss over her skin and move back toward her breasts as he stretched her with another finger. Anna cried out, grabbing for his arm, and rolled her hips to satisfy the foreign sensation growing below her stomach. When John's third finger entered her Anna felt her body seize. The scrape of fingers against her walls from the inside while his thumb touched nerves she never felt so powerfully before, left Anna's eyes rolling back into her head. Every signal from her body to her mind said nothing but that overwhelming pleasure overwrote all other commands. She wondered if she even breathed.

When he finished, finding the spot only he would ever know again, Anna screamed. Pain-tipped pleasure careened through her body like the swollen rivers after spring melts. Her limbs sparked with endless energy while lying in useless masses of gelatin so far from her mind she could barely be bothered to check that they were still there.

The wet touch of John's lips to her skin brought Anna back and she tried to pull a hand to touch him. His fingers caught hers and laid them on his shoulder before running a hand down her arm. His thumb stroked over her cheek before his head dipped to kiss her.

As he released Anna felt something. She raised her leg and John shied away, gasping for himself. In the low light Anna imagined what it was but could not see it for herself.

"It will hurt." Anna tipped her head up to see John's face, the worry lines gathering shadows on his brow. "If you'd rather-"

"Please, don't take this away." Anna tried to move closer but her body lacked the energy for simple movement. "Finish this for us, please."

John kissed her again, moving back between her legs. With her recent expenditure of energy her body obeyed his commands without complaint. Her muscles still undulated with residual pleasure so she sighed when he pressed against her

"I'll go slow."

"No," Anna finally managed, shaking her head as she tried to form thoughts before any fear could take her. "I won't last if it's slow."

"Are you sure?"

She nodded, "Please move quickly."

John wrapped a hand over her hip and the other cupped her cheek. In one swift move he forced himself inside her and Anna sobbed a moment. He froze, half-buried inside her, and sought her eyes in the darkening room. Anna sought those pinpricks of light and nodded.

He pulled to the very edge and thrust again, the wetness from his first round with his fingers and the blood from her shattered virginity, eased him to the end. They both stopped, Anna stretching to feel him, and she wondered if they could hear one another's thoughts with as quiet as it was. But her body wriggled first.

It caught him by surprise and John slipped slightly on the bed. They both laughed a moment, the tension easing with the lightness of their moment. Anna put a hand to the back of his neck to guide his lips to hers as John settled into a rhythm.

At first she could only struggle to keep up. But after a moment Anna met his thrusts with her hips. She learned to raise them as best she could to take him as deep inside her as she could. Or to twist and counter his motion to send him groaning into her neck. Or to suck on his tongue while his manhood drove to her new heights of experience.

The rolling pleasure, similar to what she felt with his fingers inside her, rose again. Anna scratched at his shoulders, whispering nonsense while her mind struggled to capture the words she needed to express herself. John slowed, lowering his head to hers.

"What is it Anna?"

"I need… I don't know what I need. It's rising again."

"I know." He kissed her quickly, picking his speed back up. "I know. You'll feel pleasure again."

"I already do." Anna's head went back, her hands wrapped behind his neck to give herself the only anchor she needed.

The colors burst behind her eyes and a moment later she though she heard John grunt something. An odd sensation, inside her, had Anna stuttering to meet the last of John's drives before they both settled. Their breathing synchronized and John pressed his forehead to hers for a moment until he moved himself off her.

They lay together, in the almost dark, and Anna sought his hand. Their fingers entwined and John kissed at her knuckles, smiling over at her. His other hand reached across his body to push a loose hair behind her ear.

"Are you alright?"

"What else could I be but alright?" Anna sighed, trying to rest her head on her shoulder but her body had no strength. "I'm boneless."

"As it should be." He reached under them, manipulating the blankets to cover them both and draw her to his side. "I hope you don't live to regret this."

"I couldn't regret this."

"People'll call you bad names for getting involved with me. Especially now that we've Green to handle. I've only made it more difficult for you now."

"No," Anna shook her head, "I'm who I'm meant to be now, because of you. And given what we've to face tomorrow can we not let this be enough for right now?"

John hugged her close, breathing in the scent of her before kissing her forehead again. "It's more than enough."

"Good." Anna rested her head on his shoulder, eyes drifting closed. "Good."

"I love you Anna."

"And I love you John." Her voice quieted, to a barely discernable whisper. "I love you."


	8. Shadows in the Dark

John shifted, opening his eyes when something moved against him. He smiled to himself, moving just behind Anna's sleeping form. When he grabbed the blankets, tugging up the ones that threatened to fall off them, she turned toward him and opened her eyes. Even in the dark of the early morning she could see her as clearly as if she was bathed in light.

"Good morning." He leaned forward, risking a kiss she gladly returned.

"Good morning." She sighed, putting her hands under her head and grinned at him, "I'd say it's a very good morning."

"And it's barely started." John pressed her shoulder, putting her back to the bed before kissing over her neck.

"What do you have in mind?"

"Something you'll enjoy." John kissed back up to her lips, "Do you trust me?"

Her eyes met his and she nodded, "Of course."

"Good." John trailed his lips lower, moving her hands above her head and holding them there as he moved over her.

He started at her wrists, lavishing her skin in kisses as he shifted his body to better leverage himself. His knees held position on either side of her hips while his body bent over her to skim his lips to her shoulders. Loving over her collarbones he turned his attention to her breasts.

Anna's exclamations started as sighs before turning to gasps when he tonged over her nipples. Sucking one into his mouth, he rolled the other in his fingers. John smiled to himself, keeping his focus entirely guided by the sounds she emitted when he nipped or licked or laved at her, and switched to her other side. Her gripping fingers in his hair and the writhing of her legs under him signaled him to start the next phase.

The blankets bunched and slid under him, forcing John to risk a hand to the bed itself so he did not fall onto her. His muscles strained to keep him in position while leaving a glistening trail over her stomach with the caresses of his mouth there. He dipped his tongue into her navel, swirling there while he slipped his legs between hers.

She open almost automatically, responding with her newly learned instinct, and John kissed over her hipbones. The catch in her breath stopped him just before the juncture of her thighs. John stroked his hands over her thighs, waiting for Anna to look at him, and rose up enough to kiss her.

"If you don't-"

"I just…" She shook her head, "I don't-"

"Don't what?"

"I don't want you to do it because you feel you should."

John kissed her again, "There's no 'should' here, Anna. Anything I do is because I want to give you pleasure. Nothing more."

"And it will?"

"I should very much hope so." John held himself in place, "Would you like to try it? If you want me to stop I-"

Anna surged upward, taking his face in her hands, and kissed him. As she pulled back she held his gaze. "Don't stop."

"Then I'll continue." John returned to his position between her legs, massaging her thighs to relax her. "Don't worry Anna."

Her eyes closed, her head going back into the pillows. John slid one hand over her thigh, teasing at her folds as he had the night before. The groan of pleasure Anna released spurred him forward as he kissed right above her nerve bundle.

Anna gasped, pulling at the blanket under them. The material slid under John's knee and he slipped slightly Luckily for both of them, the movement stroked his fingers through her folds and Anna grabbed harder at the blankets.

John regained his position, smiling to himself, and licked over her. The keening cries she produced drove John to dip his tongue between her folds to taste her for the first time. He hummed at her taste, basking in the feeling of her on his tongue, and dove back for more.

His fingers parted her, two sneaking inside to skim along her inner walls and send her crying out to the ceiling of the room. With sure twists of his wrist and licks with his tongue her legs vibrated with the energy of holding back on her pleasure. John plunged forward, sucking her folds into his mouth while working a third finger inside her, and used his other hand to rub over her hardened nub.

The raw shriek she released soon fell to a litany of half sobs mixed with heaving pulls of air to fill starved lungs. His fingers soon felt the stranglehold of her inner walls clutching and releasing relentlessly in her search for the peak. John gave a final suck, pinching just above her nub with his other hand.

She fell over the peak, tumbling to oblivion as John kissed the inside of her thighs to bring her back down. His palm rubbed over her, feeling the tremor in her muscles, while his other hand pulled gently from her while massaging her from the inside to help her eyes open again. When Anna finally did look at him John grinned to himself, noting the haze in her eyes.

"Did you enjoy it?"

"Very much so." Anna tried to pull him down to her but he resisted. "What is it?"

"Something else you'll enjoy." John went to his side, tugging her atop him, and positioning her so she straddled his waist.

Anna laughed, "You're not a horse, General, I can't ride you."

"But you can." John tried to push her backward but Anna pressed her palms to his chest, resisting. "It's not hard."

"Not yet." She teased and John's mouth dropped open. "I plan to get it there."

Anna dipped her head, avoiding his searching mouth and kissing to the line of his scar. Her lips caressed there as if she wanted to heal the hardened tissue there. But the feel of her, so gentle there, sparked nerves John thought died long ago.

Her body bent, allowing her to trace the line of the scar that bisected his chest, and she finished just above his hip. With a final kiss she lifted herself up on her knees, slipping back to kiss lower. John tried to stop her but Anna batted his hands away, wagging her finger at him.

"I may be young in this but I'm willing to learn, if you'll let me."

"You don't have to."

"And if I want to?" Anna ran her hands over his chest, not meeting his eyes with her focus entirely taken up in the memorization of his chest. "Last night you were so kind to me. And this morning-"

"I enjoyed every moment of it."

"I'm sure. But I want to know how we can enjoy it more." Anna paused, her fingers drawing nonsense patterns on his skin. "I want you to stay here forever, John."

"Eventually we'll need to eat or-"

Anna scratched down him softly with her nails and John gasped, arching into the motion. "I know that. But I want you here, with me, forever John. I want you to stay here at the Keep with me."

"I serve at your uncle's pleasure."

"But you don't have to. Not forever." Anna leaned forward, "Stay with me."

John fit a few of her loose hairs behind her ear. "However, whenever, wherever."

"Then this is good practice. I want to spend the rest of my life pleasing you as you please me." Anna lowered herself, kissing just above his erection. "Show me?"

John took her hand and wrapped it over the base of his erection. She shivered, matching the full-body ripple that passed through him, and he tightened her grip. Instead of speaking he guided her motions, pulling with each stroke and pausing at the end to grip harder a moment. His hand fell from hers to grab at the blankets as she quickly learned to respond to his sounds as he did to hers.

The feeling had John closing his eyes, directing all this senses to focus on the labor of her hands. But his eyes shot open when she kissed at the tip of him. Her hand froze, as if waiting to see his reaction, but sped up her work when he groaned.

Anna returned her lips to him, kissing and licking over him with gusto. When she lowered her head to take him in her mouth John tightened his grip in the sheets so much so that his knuckles turned white. And when she sucked at him in tandem with the tightening of her hand around him John choked in his attempt to breathe.

He put a shaking hand on her shoulder and Anna pulled up. John urged her toward him and she crawled back as if to lie on her back. He stopped her, holding her hips and maneuvering her right above him. Their eyes met and John soothed her fear with his fingers. Her eyelids fluttered shut, moaning when he ran over her slickness before drawing his fingers away to lower her.

Her fingers dug into the skin of his stomach, finding purchase there while John gritted his teeth to keep from immediately thrusting into her. She shifted, sending John into another groan. Anna's fingers flailed on him but John kept a grip on her waist.

"It's alright."

"But you-"

"It's pleasure, Anna, not pain." John urged her with his hips. "Please move."

"I don't know how."

John used his hands at her waist to lift her while leveraging up with feet on the bed to thrust with his hips. Anna rocked back into him, following his cues, and eventually twisted to drive herself against him. Her surprise came out as a gasping moan when it rubbed her nerves against his pubic bone.

He smiled, helping guide her motions to chase her pleasure while he snuck a hand to rub there. When his fingers slipped John looked down, immediately mesmerized by the sight of her. The slick result of her arousal coating him and sucking slightly in the otherwise quiet room drove John to plunge into Anna as deeply as he could. Each of his motions met with her determined search for how to better reach the peak.

John's insistent fingers sent her over the edge with a cry of his name that he followed with hers as he released inside her. He leaned up to catch Anna, holding her close to his chest as he lay back on the bed. She snuggled close to him, sighing as they both eased back down from their high.

"Never leave me." She mumbled into his neck and John kissed her temple, running his fingers over her back.

"Never."

John held her until the light grew enough to possibly expose his escape back over the ledge to his own room. In the nights that followed he wore a tread in the stone while they both acted their dutiful parts in the daylight. For all anyone knew, or admitted to know, he was the General charged with her protection and she the lady of the northern Keep.

But now they were more than that.

Each time he saw her smile he grinned to himself, hoping to replicate the same expression that night. Each moment their fingers brushed in public he remembered how they interlaced in the night when she found her climax or when he wrapped her in his embrace. Every opportunity they had to walk the walls together he wished they could kiss in the open they way they did in the dark of the night.

Instead they kept to themselves. They could remain a secret until the King returned for Captain Green's trial. Once the King knew then everyone would know. They would be shadows until then.

Or that was the plan.

John walked down to the cells, nodding to the guard there and knocked on the bars to Green's cell. The other man looked up, keeping to himself in the corner. His face hardened and he forced himself to stand.

"Excuse me, sir, if I don't salute." He jangled the manacles on his wrists. "I'm prevented from showing you the proper respect."

"You should've thought of that before you attempted to harm Lady Winter." John cleared his throat. "The King comes tomorrow and you'll face trial for your insubordination and your treason."

"Treason?"

"Attacks on members of the royal family are treason."

Green scoffed, "If death if given for an attack and for killing one then perhaps the best result is to kill outright."

John frowned, "Have you gone mad?"

"No, but you're about to."

John had no time to turn before something clubbed him from behind. His head hit the bars and he tried to hold himself upright as blows rained down on him. His hands, grasping the cell bars, jerked forward and the manacles around Green's wrists clinked over his own. He tugged but the chain stopped him moving as Green walked out of the cell.

"You should have vetted my men or not left one to guard me." Green clapped a hand on the guard's shoulder. "You did nothing to endear yourself to Barrow and so he joined me."

"If you harm Lady Winter-"

"You'll be dead, General, along with everyone else here." Green spit at him, "There'll be no trial if there's no one to try and no one to accuse."

Another blow drove John to his knees, vision hazing while the world spun around him. He tried to stand but each motion sent him back to the floor, retching while trying to keep from vomiting. He scrunched his eyes closed, pushing past the pain, and found his feet with hands clamped tightly around the bars for balance.

Noises in the Keep above him filled his ears. Distant screams mixed with a smell he recognized from a dozen battlefields. Smoke and wails drove his focus to the manacles on his wrists.

John tugged and yanked, scraping the skin from his wrists to leave them bleeding over the stones. With a yell he wrenched the bars from the wall, a golden glow surrounding him while filling his body with power he kept locked away long ago. Another focused thought shattered the manacles and the bars, leaving only shards and dust behind him.

He charged into the Keep, coughing in the choking smoke, and found his way to the courtyard. Gathered soldiers and guards tried to throw water on the blaze, seeking the source of the flames. John scanned the crowd and worked his way to Elsie.

"Where's Lady Winter?"

"I don't know. I thought she was in the dining hall but then the fire drove me out and I-"

John did not allow Elsie to finish, running back into the Keep. Pulling his uniform over his nose and mouth to block most of the smoke, he squinted against the dark. The orange haze on the brown-gray clouds from the fire guided him up the stairs toward Anna's rooms.

Someone tried to stop him but John threw all of his power into the drive of his fist into the man's chest. He flew back, knocking against a distant wall, and John pressed forward. The door jammed but John threw his weight against it.

It skidded over the floor and John stumbled in the room. Green looked up, leering at John as he stepped away from Anna, curled up on the floor with her clothing a mess about her. He stepped back, opening his hands to John.

"Surprised you found a way to escape."

"You won't." John moved faster than Green could and grabbed the man by his throat. Lifting Green high he threw him through the stone wall, sending the man screaming to his death as he fell to ground below.

John bent, picking up Anna's trembling body, and carried her toward the door. But the fire spread throughout the Keep and the doorway collapsed over them. He lost his hold on Anna, the weight of rubble trapping him while the flames licked higher and closer to them.

He pushed through the stones, grunting past the pain starting the hollow echo through his body, and found Anna in the smoke. Pulling her close, the noise echoing so loudly in his ears it became silence, John pushed the hair from her face. Her hand, weak and shaking, found his face and ran her fingers down it.

"John?"

"It's me. I'm here."

"Save yourself."

"Never." John affirmed, dipping his head to kiss her, "Never."

"I'm dying, John."

"Then we'll die together."

"No, John. You can't."

"I can't leave you." John shook his head, "I'm nothing without you."

"And I'm nothing without you." She grunted, her body giving over to spasm.

"Don't say anything. Save your strength."

"No," She shook her head, "I'm dying and I won't leave this world without telling you."

"Tell me what?"

"That, no matter what, no one can regret-" She coughed, trying to speak past what John knew to be collapsed lungs in her crushed body. "No one can regret loving as I've loved you, John."

"And I love you, Anna." He stroked his thumb over her face, "I don't regret a moment of it. I never could. I'd do it all over again just for a chance to love you again."

"I know." She smiled, her eyes fluttering closed, "I would too."

John felt her weight sink into his arms, growing heavy in that moment. "Anna? Anna!"

He kissed her, the heat of the flames lighting over his face and over her limp body in his arms.

"So sad, how they're so breakable." John looked up, tears streaking through the soot on his face to leave it gummy in the fire. Vera stood there, unaffected by the flames, and pointed to Anna, "Such a pity about her, truly."

"Leave me in peace, Vera."

"After all the trouble I went through? To get Barrow to give in to Captain Green's insane scheme? Or to have them set a fire to this Keep? I've given a lot for this moment John and I won't leave before I see it accomplished."

"You planned this?" John held Anna closer, as if he could bring her back to him with the force of his embrace. "You wanted her dead?"

"She's collateral damage John." Vera thrust a finger at him, "I wanted you destroyed and I an do that in many ways."

"I warned you about testing me, Vera."

She snorted, "What will you do?" She raised her hands at the burning around them, "The world's already on fire."

"It won't stop us Vera. We're immortal."

"And you'll keep trying and failing to find the love that will free you but what you're too much of a fool to realize, John, is that you'll never find it and you'll never be free of me. Ever. I'm here to stay."

"No." John set Anna's body down and blasted Vera back. "You're wrong about it all."

"I'm not." Vera extricated herself, fighting him blow for blow through the burning and crumbling building. "You'll fail John. It's the way it'll always work. You'll be alone, crippled, and filed forever."

"No," John caught her hands, holding her so she was forced to face him. "I'll find her again, we'll love again, and I'll be free of you."

"You won't win against me."

"Yes I will." John forced Vera back, "Because I know what is it to love and now that I do I'll search this world over to find it again."

"And I'll stop you every step of the way."

"I accept your challenge." John reached up, pulling the building down on top of them. "Let the fight begin."


	9. Part II: Shades of the Past

He kept his promise. He watched and waited, traveling the world searching for her again. Knowing what he did about souls he knew her soul was there, waiting somewhere, and he would find it.

Struggling through countries and wars and the ever present dogging of his steps by Vera, John sought Anna. His heart guided him through Europe, seeking the great lady who captured his heart in the moors and the cold Keep. Through all weathers and privations he dedicated himself to once again igniting his heart with her light.

But time is the cruelest of life's gifts. The more he sought her the further she seemed. He spent hours trying to remember her smile and only found her fading in his memory. The more he grasped at the memories the faster they slipped from his thoughts until his heart hardened again.

Often, in his moments of darkest blackness he heard the voice of Vera, calling to him to join her. No longer driven by his desire to find Anna he sought solace in his hatred of the woman who drove them apart. Each invitation from Vera drove him to find Anna but is intentions muddled.

He no longer knew if he sought Anna because he loved her or because he hated Vera.

Eventually he heard rumors of a woman performing magical illusions in London. He traveled back, seeking the kind of woman who would make a name for herself in something not usually meant for women. When he heard gossip that the woman donated her time and other talents to the poor John knew he found her.

He sat in the back of the audience at one of her shows. The moment she walked on the stage, bowing to the crowd, John's dead heart beat harder. Even from the distance he knew those eyes.

She sought a volunteer and he exercised his influence to make his the only hand she saw. He walked on stage next to her and followed her instructions for even the smallest chance she might touch his skin again. But all her directions kept her away from him.

He focused on her smile, once given to him in public when they gave their hearts in private. He focused on her voice, one he knew could climb the registers when he drove her to pleasure. He attended to her hands, enthralling and entertaining the audience the way they held him in thrall when she refused to release him from her embrace.

But when she looked at him she did not know him. Her eyes were as kind to him as to anyone else but he was a stranger. More than that, when she hand brushed his it gave his heart to soar but she moved away as if nothing happened.

It was like knowing someone to the depths of the ocean but John was no more than a drop of rain for Anna. She did not know him as he knew her. He was nothing more than another face in the crowd.

He would make that change.


	10. Raven Law

Clapping filled the hall as she came to the stage. She bowed to the crowd, her smiling broadly enough to catch the lights so even those in the farthest seats could see it, and moved to center stage. Pausing there she seemed lost a moment, leading the crowd to murmur and titter at her antics.

She pivoted toward them, pantomiming a significant sneeze. So much so she fell backward. They gasped at her fall and then louder when she seemed to stop in midair. With a kick of her legs she rose above them, arms flapping once so wings appeared.

The crowd "ohhhhed" and "ahhhed" as she flew around the room a moment, puling a handkerchief from a young girl in the crowd and using it to blow her nose loudly so all turned to laughter. She snapped her wrist and the handkerchief burst into a cloud of feathers, drifting slowly to the audience below, and she landed lightly on the stage. Her back to them allowed all to shout when she tore her wings free.

With a flourish she reassembled the wings before them. Her arms flapped, like she wanted to lay out a blanket, and the cries of despair at the ruined wings turned to shock when the wings spread like a tablecloth over the floor. She walked the perimeter, straightening it so no wrinkles appeared before stepping back to survey her work.

Satisfied at her efforts she walked to the middle and clapped her hands. Nothing happened and she pouted before clapping again. Still nothing happened and she stamped her foot. Then the cloth rose, supporting her in the middle while billowing out like some magic carpet in an Arabian fairy story, and she pulled the edges up toward herself.

When the cloth reached the height of the balcony she waved to the audience before pulling the cloth over herself. With nary a sound the cloth floated to the ground but she was nowhere to be seen. Everyone reacted, some standing from their seats while others clamored for answers.

Then all eyes looked up at the echo of a light-hearted giggle. Another white cloth wrapped like a parachute around her and she descended from the ceiling above them to land on the railing of the balcony. She bowed to them and jumped backward. Screams filled the hall when she vanished from sight again.

But a bright light drew all the attention back to the stage and she stood there, bowing to the audience. The cheers nearly broke the ceiling of the room and the thud of chairs whipping back up on springs once everyone stood for her ovation gave a bass line to the event. Her magnanimity came out in her genuine gratitude before she opened her arms to the crowd for silence.

With her hair piled atop her head and ringlets framing her face she spoke. "It is my great honor and sincere privilege to perform for you this evening. I'm sure you've all anticipated what a woman might bring to you but I promise to be nothing less than the best you'll see while you're here in London.

"And now," She clapped her hands and the lights dimmed, "The show."

In a burst of flame she vanished and they clapped all the louder.

* * *

"The wings caught up near my shoulder again Tom." She turned to the brunette man inspecting the skin of her shoulder while she held the blanket wrapped around her midriff. "Another time like that and I won't be able to fly around the room without bleeding over the audience."

"I see that." He fiddled with something in a box and she risked a look over her shoulder to see him pulling gauze and some ointment out. "I'll talk with Henry. He'll have some suggestions about how to make it smoother."

"Maybe we should get rid of the wings." She hissed when he applied the gauze. "They're harder to work with than the cloth anyway."

"It's part of the perception that you're an angel, Anna." Tom wiped at the injury before offering her a wrap. "With all the work Henry put into them I don't think he'll take them out of rotation."

"Then why not paint them black? I'm going by the name Raven, after all. It'd lend to the illusion that I'm a bird in flight."

"Men don't like women reminding them of birds." Tom shrugged when Anna raised an eyebrow, "Gives them the feeling that they're being harped on. Men like the unattainable."

"Hence the angel wings?"

"Hence the angel wings." Tom stepped over, helping Anna fix the bandage. "The table cranked too late though. Left you standing on the sheet too long and almost ruined the next trick."

"They're illusions, Tom," A lanky, dark-haired man joined them, holding two envelopes to them. "And the cloth caught in the contraption."

"At the risk of possible death if it broke before I reached the scaffold I'm grateful you waited." Anna lifted her other arm, careful of the blanket before nodding at Tom when he finished wrapping the bandage. "Though that run never gets easier, Henry, so if we could think about a double or something that'd be helpful."

"We're not hiring a double." Henry dropped the envelope in her lap before tucking the other in Tom's shirt pocket. "We're already splitting a pittance in profits at the moment."

"That can't be true." Tom pointed toward the stage, "We've packed the house every night since we opened."

"But they charged us double because they didn't think a woman could pull in the crowds." Henry winked at Anna, "They didn't know what we do."

"What's that?" Anna worked a shirt over her head, dropping the blanket as she arranged her shirt over her corset and into her skirt.

"That you're skilled and men always want to see something as beautiful as you."

"I'm glad he said I was skilled before he referenced my beauty." Anna stage whispered to Tom, "Makes me feel more valuable than just decoration."

"You'll have to be a bit more valuable as a decoration when the Crown Prince comes to see the performance tomorrow night."

Anna looked at Tom, "Will I be all healed up by then?"

"I hope so." Tom winced, "I wish we'd rescheduled to give you the day off between. Gives me time to fix the whole thing to be more comfortable."

"Unfortunately he chose the date and we live by his mercy." Henry rolled his eyes, "Entitlement gives me a sour taste in my mouth."

"He was born to it, I don't think he can help it." Anna checked herself in the mirror, "But I need to leave before my uncle thinks I was kidnapped and killed by theater people."

"Does he not know that you're 'theater people' now?" Tom grinned as Anna positioned a hat on her head, shoving the pin carefully through her hair to secure it.

"No and he's not going to if I can help it."

"Then just remember that we've got an early rehearsal tomorrow." Henry held up a warning finger to Anna and Tom. "He may be spoiled rotten but he's our chance to really make money at this."

"Because it's only about money." Tom snorted, feigning seriousness as he nodded in agreement.

"I'll be there." Anna buttoned her jacket and snagged her handbag before kissing both men on the cheek. "I must be off."

"The water tank is tomorrow, don't forget."

"I won't." She ducked out the side door, inspecting the alley before hurrying across the street to ta waiting carriage. "Home please James."

"Yes Duchess."

She sat back against the seat for a moment before lowering the shades on the carriage. As it bounced over the cobbles of the road she worked her clothing off, tucking it into a compartment under the seat in front of her. Anna drew out another dress from a compartment under the other seat.

Moving with the carriage, she disconnected the bodice from the skirt and eased into it. With a bump in the road she pulled the skirt in place before threading her arms through the sleeves of her shirt to secure it in place. Sucking in she tightened her corset before pulling her hair higher on her head.

Another bump tried to unseat her but Anna pushed her feet under the opposite seat to hold herself in place until she finished adjusting her appearance. As the carriage pulled to a halt James knocked against the roof. Anna, securing the latches on the seats to hide the compartments, raised her voice.

"Yes?"

"Duchess, your uncle's carriage isn't here but I can see him waiting by the door."

"Thank you for the warning."

"Are we telling him you attended the theater tonight?"

"That's where I was James," Anna waited for James to open the door, smiling at him as she took his hand to descend to the pavement. "We're telling him the truth."

"He'll be suspicious of all the time you're spending at the theater."

"He wanted me to have culture." Anna picked up the edge of her skirt, walking to the door and smiling at the man there. "Good evening uncle."

"It's almost morning, Anna."

"I got distracted speaking to a few people and I congratulated the players."

He sighed, rubbing at the bridge of his nose while closing his eyes as it trying to stop an oncoming headache. "You're the Duchess of Reyvaan, Anna. You can't so this."

"Speak my mind or be polite?"

"Stay out at all hours." He dropped his hands, leading her into the house to wait as the footman took her coat. "You're a lady and people will talk."

"Talk about me trying to culture myself?"

"Talk about how you missed an invitation from the Crown Prince to view Raven Law tomorrow night."

Anna stopped, handing her hat to the ginger-haired woman standing to the side. "Did he?"

"He's attending the performance tomorrow night and extended an invitation for you to accompany him to the show."

"That's unfortunate since I already made plans."

"Anna," He groaned, "You don't refuse an invitation from the Crown Prince."

"And I won't be one known for breaking her commitments, Uncle Robert. No matter who asks me to do so."

"Anna-"

"I'll invite him to a picnic instead." Anna shrugged, "Titles and time are as important as smoke. They're incorporeal constructs."

"They're not incorporeal to me, as the King's general, and shouldn't be to you." He paused, "I believe the Crown Prince wants to court you."

"I'd rather not."

"You can't refuse him."

"I won't be forced to spend time with someone I can't stand."

Robert's face reddened, "Punctuality, decorum, and duty are critical to keeping your title and your lands, Anna. These things should concern you."

"Perhaps I'm more concerned with the reality of the situation instead of hiding behind something as foolish as perception." Anna stood tall, "Rumors start in the dark, truth does not. The truth, in the cold light of day, is that the Crown Prince is a charming but empty man. I can't bear standing in his presence for longer than a minute."

"And the truth, Anna," Robert held his tone even, stopping her leaving his presence, "Is that secrets hide in the dark and a lady, such as yourself, should not be out in the dark where conditions prove fruitful for secrets and rumors."

Anna took a deep breath, moving around Robert. "I respect you, uncle, but I already told you that I'm bound by a previous commitment."

"Then it's a good thing I've arranged for someone to take responsibility of your commitments."

"What?"

Robert gestured for Anna to follow him into his study, opening the door to reveal a man there. "Anna, this is my old friend and your new bodyguard."

"My new what?"

"John Bates," Robert walked to where the other man stood up from his chair, closing the book he had in his hands. "I'd like to introduce you to my niece, Anna Smith the Duchess of Reyvaan."

"It's a pleasure, Your Grace." John bowed to her and Anna turned to her uncle.

"Might I have a moment, uncle?" She pulled him into a corner, hissing her whisper at him. "Why do I need a bodyguard? I'm in no danger."

"It's more about the fact that I need my friend to keep an eye on you to make sure you behave."

"Behave?"

"Begin acting like you know your responsibilities as the Duchess of Reyvaan."

"I'm aware of my duties, uncle."

"Your actions seem to indicate otherwise." Robert started at the chime of a clock. "Midnight come and gone and I need to sleep or I'll never ben prepared for tomorrow."

"Uncle," But Robert left the study, leaving Anna and John in the space. She clutched at her hands before extending one to him. "It's a pleasure to meet you as well, Mr. Bates."

He looked at her hand and then shook his head, "I don't think so."

Anna raised her eyebrow, "I beg your pardon?"

"You seem less than enthused about the fact that I'm now to follow you about." He shrugged, "I'm not unused to being detested for my presence."

"Your duties make you undesirable. Mr. Bates?"

"I've served in a few armies and no one I've yet met find that a desirable quality." He gestured to the chair, "May I sit?"

Anna opened her hand to the chair and John sat, stretching his leg. "An old injury?"

"War tends to leave men broken, Your Grace."

"Please," Anna raised a hand, "If we're going to be associating together I don't want you bowing and scraping to me."

"I refuse to be disrespectful."

"Then please call me 'Ms. Smith'." Anna threw a hand toward the door Robert left. "You're here because my uncle believes I need a manager that I don't need."

"I'm aware of what you don't need, Ms. Smith." John smiled at her and Anna stopped her pacing. "I'm here for a job and at the end of the day I believe you're more important than your uncle's wishes."

"Do you?"

"I do." He nodded, extending his hand to her. "Might we start again?"

Anna took his hand and shivered when an electric thrill went through her. She blinked at him but he only smiled. "Have we met before?"

"I attended one of your shows and I was very impressed."

Anna took her hand back, "You know what I do?"

"I know that we all need a way to break from the chains that bind us." He pointed to the upstairs, "I don't mind keeping your secret if you don't mind promising that you'll be honest with me so I might protect you better."

"That's all you desire?"

"I'm your servant, Ms. Smith, not your uncle's. Though," He grinned, "I'll take his money for the pleasure all the same."

"Then I do hope you like illusions, Mr. Bates." Anna grinned back, "Because you'll be seeing plenty of those."


	11. Sons of the Morning

John rapped his knuckles against Anna's door, smiling at the ginger-headed woman nodded to him as she passed him in the hall. Anna opened the door, blinking at him and he held up his pocket watch. She rolled her eyes and shut the door. He chuckled to himself as he heard her grumbling on the other side of the door to the tune of sounds of her getting ready.

"You're due at your lunch engagement very soon Your Grace." He called through the door and started when she opened the door in a rush, her corset and shift visible in the bit of door she allowed open.

"I know exactly what my schedule is, Mr. Bates, and I'd prefer you didn't chime it to me like a clock. There's one in the hall and I've no need of another."

The door shut with a snap and John snorted, "Willful as ever."

He turned toward the hall when the door opened again and Anna emerged, dressed and ready but with a sour expression. "I heard you through the door."

John smiled to himself, trying to remember how to speak. "I thought it was thicker."

"Not quite as thick as your head, it would seem."

"It would seem." John bit back his grin when she frowned.

"What about this situation is so amusing, Mr. Bates?"

"Not amusing so much as… familiar."

"Do you often take occasion to insult your charges in their own homes?"

"It would seem I do. Though I assure you, it's unintentional."

Anna took a breath, "I would like to make something clear, Mr. Bates. Though I've promised honesty so that you may perform your job I request you give me the freedom to do mine. Don't mistake my demeanor as one of a lady lesser than myself. I respect you for your duty and ask only that you respect me in my home."

"I plan to do nothing less than respect you, Ms. Smith."

"Good." Anna pulled on her gloves, "Then understand that I seek your wellbeing while you're here since it assures mine. Should my actions or routine discomfit you then I suggest you inform my uncle you're unable to fulfill the requirements of your post."

"My post is best filled by me, I think."

"If you're sure."

John bowed to her, "I'm sure of very little, Ms. Smith, but this is one of those things on which I could build a foundation."

"You seem very sure of yourself."

"I've had a lot of time to make this decision." He opened his hand toward the door, "I believe you've a rehearsal to ensure the Crown Prince isn't disappointed by tonight's excitement."

Anna led the way, entering the carriage before him and taking her seat facing forward while John put his back toward the driver. She knocked against the side of the carriage and it pulled away. John went to draw one of the curtains but she put her hand over his, shaking her head.

"I wouldn't want an audience."

"To?"

She popped the latch on the seat next to him and John shifted to allow her to place her hat there. He raised an eyebrow until she unbuttoned her jacket, folding it carefully to fit and began pulling at her clothing. Closing his eyes John sat back against the carriage.

"Do you always treat your carriage as a mobile changing room?"

"It's part of the illusion I practice, Mr. Bates." Her hand rested on his arm, prodding him to the other side and John shifted, hearing another catch and thump of the seat opening for her to draw something from its bowels. "This carriage is as plain as I could reasonably manage but my uncles insists I dress in state when I leave the house."

"And that's not the uniform you wish to wear when you enter a theater to become your secret self?" John risked a look but Anna's hand rested over his eyes and he smiled. "Afraid I might see something I like, Ms. Smith?"

"I'm afraid you are far too cheeky for your own good, Mr. Bates."

"It's a method of deflection, much like your illusions."

"It's rather good." John bit down on his jaw when her breath caressed the shell of his ear. "But I believe there's more to you than your deflection."

"Why would you say that?"

"Because I've got the strangest feeling I've met you somewhere before."

John raised an eyebrow, keeping his eyes closed until Anna cleared her throat. He blinked and pulled the curtains up at her nod. Turning to her he opened his hands, "Ask whatever question you like."

"Who said I had a question?"

"Your tone." He shrugged, "You want to know if I'm about to reveal that we've met before or how you think you know me."

"Do I know you?" Anna crossed her arms over her much simpler clothes, waiting for John to speak. "Have we met before?"

"I told you, I attended one of your shows. You chose me from the audience and performed one of your illusions with me as your wiling participant."

Anna shook her head, "No, it's something else. Something deeper."

"Perhaps at one of your charity functions or your service projects."

She remained staunchly opposed to his suggestion, "It's something deeper. Not just a passing meeting but a deep familiarity. Something that runs under the skin to my very bones."

"Perhaps we've met in another life." John nibbled the inside of his cheek, "If you believe in that sort of thing."

"I guess the better question, since you raised the issue Mr. Bates, is whether or not you believe in that sort of thing."

John studied her then. Her face was the same as he remembered when he could picture her clearly. Everything, down the tiniest difference of color in her skin was exactly as he pictured her through the years. But somehow she changed.

Something about this Anna felt stronger, more controlled, calculating. The soul he felt, the one calling out to his own, had altered. It was her and yet not her. He smiled to himself as he realized he could know her anew.

"I do." He finally answered. "I believe our souls are eternal and therefore we sometimes have the gift of experiencing more than one life with them on this earth."

"That's not a very Christian attitude."

"My life's taken me to far off climes where Christianity is the religion of invaders and conquerors." John lifted a shoulder, "There's a religion, in India, where the people believe all the souls are simply reincarnated to fulfill their purpose. They rise and fall between lifetimes to take on the challenges the gods set for them until they reach the stage of enlightenment that allows them to move out of the cycle."

"Sounds exhausting."

"Even more so when you realize their cycle means you could live your next life as a dog or even a flea." John laughed at Anna's expression of distaste. "I'm not in complete agreement with their belief system either."

"What do you believe?"

John acted affronted, "That's a rather personal question."

"We're in a rather personal situation." Anna waved her hand toward him, "If you believe the soul is eternal then you must have a belief system."

"I believe things that've been lost to time." John opened his mouth as if to say something but stopped himself, "What I believe might've once been called paganism or deemed me a heretic."

"Old traditions make their rounds. It's nothing to me if you're not a follower of a major religion." Anna pointed out the window, "To each their own as far as I'm concerned."

"I doubt your very Protestant uncle would agree."

"He's Anglican and no, he wouldn't." Anna snorted, "The irony is that religion, for him, is tradition more than personal belief. He can recite choice passages from the Bible but he never reads it."

"Not a practitioner of what he preaches?"

"He's a man of his time, Mr. Bates." Anna shook her head, "Much like my father was, if I'm being honest."

"Your father, the Duke?"

"Yes."

John hesitated, then spoke, "May I ask how your uncle didn't take your title when your parents died?"

"My uncle is the Duke of Reyvaan but everyone knows it's only until I'm married. Then my husband takes the title with him since my father arranged for me to inherit it all." Anna smiled to herself, "Angered my cousin Thomas something terrible when he realized he'd made all these plans for my money and he'd never get it."

"Do we not like Thomas?"

Anna shrugged it off, "Thomas, like all the other men I've ever met, is the product of his time. He's entitled, arrogant, and ignorant."

"Would it be too presumptuous to assume you feel the same about the Crown Prince?" John risked it, watching for Anna's reaction. "I may've overheard your argument with your uncle in the hall about the invitation."

"But you and I both know I couldn't accept an invitation to attend a show where I'm performing."

"Yes," John nodded at her, acknowledging their shared secret. "However you seemed to think it a chore to even consider associating with him at all."

"Do you disapprove?" Anna's voice took on a mocking tone but John noted the stone to her expression. "Do you also believe I should throw myself at his feet and beg his mercy in exuberant gratitude that he deigned look upon me?"

"No." John shook his head, "Quite the opposite in fact."

"Really?" Anna leaned forward, perching her elbows on her knees, "And what do you believe I should do?"

"I think you should refuse him. He's an ass and doesn't respect you."

"Doesn't respect me?"

John turned to the window, squinted out it, "He's also syphilitic but that's none of my business."

"Syphilis?"

John nodded, "I heard it first as a nasty rumor on a battlefield but I've met too may men who enjoyed the company of too many woman not to see the signs in the Crown Prince."

"Which unfortunate soul can I thank for giving the Crown Prince a debilitating disease?"

"Not sure but since there are a number of souls I'd classify as unfortunate you can thank the lot for spreading the affliction around." John put his hand on the door, stepping out of the carriage as they pulled to the rear of the theater. "Your uncle may not approve and the world will think the worst of you but better shouldering a bit of gossip now than losing your dignity and your mind."

He held out his hand and Anna took it. She stepped down, shorter than him was they stayed on the pavement. Her eyes searched his face but John knew she would find nothing there. Nothing but utter devotion her furrowed brow told him she did not understand.

"Why are you helping me?"

"I don't suppose you'd believe that I'm simply interested in your welfare monetarily."

Anna shook her head, "If that were the case you wouldn't be standing outside a theater I'm not supposed to be renting waiting to deliver me to a rehearsal that'd shame my uncle if he knew I even considered it." She crossed her arms over her chest, "So why?"

"Because, Ms. Smith," John took a deep breath, "We have met before."

"Have we?"

"Yes."

"When?"

John wanted to tell her everything, to kiss her, to take her there with the world watching so she could remember who they were to one another. Who, he corrected himself, they had been to each other. Instead he chose his words carefully. "A long time ago. You suffered because I couldn't save you and I swore to myself I would never let anyone harm you again."

"I'm not old enough for there to've been a 'long time ago', Mr. Bates." Anna paused, narrowing her eyes at him. "You're suggesting we've met in another life, aren't you?"

"I told you, I believe in a much older way than you do."

"I'm not entirely sure you're wrong, Mr. Bates." Anna shook herself, "Everything in my head tells me you're simply besotted or infatuated or, at worst, mad."

"But your heart?"

"Tells me you're telling me the truth. Or," Anna gave a little laugh, "At least what you think is the truth."

"Do you believe it's the truth?"

"My head's not caught up enough to tell my heart if I'm wrong." Anna opened the side door to the theater, "I'd best get in. If I'm late then Henry'll blow a gasket."

"I'd hate to be the reason anyone suffers." John followed her into the back of the theater, ducking low hanging equipment to see two men assembling something on stage.

Both turned when Anna entered and immediately descended on their position. The shorter of the two, with an Irish accent as melodic as music, pointed at John. "Who's this tosser?"

"He's my new bodyguard." Anna gestured toward him, by way of introduction. "Gentlemen, this is John Bates. Mr. Bates these are Misters Thomas Branson and Henry Talbot. Henry's the taller of the two and Tom's the Irish one."

"It's a pleasure to meet you both." John shook their hands, "I've seen the show and while I could compliment the star of it for hours I believe the ingenuity of the display is down to your collective genius."

"Henry's the one with the big plans." Tom jerked his thumb at Henry, a tinge of red on his cheeks. "I'm just the mechanic."

"The mechanic who can make people fly and vanish at will." John walked to the edge of the stage, squinting into the darkness. "You're integral to this work. You're what makes it possible for the sun to rise, as it were."

"We're right sons of the morning." Henry laughed before tapping on the glass of the box on stage. "Have you ever seen the water tank before?"

"Twice." John turned back to them. "Once in India and once in Shanghai."

"You've been to the Orient?" Tom's face took on a breathless excitement that had John smiling. "What'd you do there?"

"Lived there for some time." John flexed his jaw, "And helped fight some wars there."

"Mercenary?"

"It's what I sometimes call the British Army." John pointed toward the room. "I'll just have a look around. I don't want any surprises."

"Be our guest." Henry waved to the room, "It's a standard theater. The Crown Prince's men already took their stock of it earlier and I think they may've lifted their noses at it but it is what it is I guess."

"Magic is found in many places, Mr. Talbot." John took the stairs down to the gallery floor. "Some simply miss it because they're distracted by other things."

"Well said Mr. Bates." John caught Anna's smile at him over his shoulder before she turned to her partners. "Now, about the tank."

John took slow steps around the room, inspecting it like he might a potential danger. Years of compounded training had him investigating every shadow and alcove until he found himself high in the balcony. Just as he went to take the stairs down he heard a snorting laugh. The chill that ran down his spine should have informed him but John turned all the same, shoulders stiffening at the sight of Vera leaning over the balcony to watch those on stage prepare.

She pointed down at them, "Do you think they realize that they could die?"

"Is that a threat?" John stalked toward her as Vera wiped her hands against one another, as though trying to clear crumbs from them.

"Did it sound like one?"

"I've stopped trying to tell with you."

Vera patted her hand against his cheek but John recoiled. "What a pity then that you've lost your edge John."

"What are you doing here?"

"Taking in a performance?" Vera pointed to the stage, "I hear she's quite good."

"How'd you find her?"

Vera laughed, "I didn't need to find her."

John frowned, "What do you mean?"

"I've just followed you, John." Vera leaned against the railing, folding her arms over her chest to face him. "I'm not such a fool that I wasted time like you did, scouring the world for one human soul. I just waited for you to make your way around the globe and eventually come back within my reach."

John snorted, "So you're stuck here?"

"It seems our little scuffle the last time you found this girl got me stuck right back here." Vera pointed to the spot beneath her. "I'm chained to these isles and I can't leave them."

"Caging your influence did some good then."

"Not if you wanted to spare the world from me." Vera leered at him, lips curving back over her canines. "Who do you think wanted to watch the sun never set on the British Empire?"

"You did that?"

"Trouncing the helpless and the weak was always my specialty John." Vera took a breath, "The benefit came when I could latch my soul to your dear, lovely Anna there."

John paled, "What?"

"Oh, you didn't know?" Vera grinned, "It's a little thing I risked when she died the last time. You remember that, the building was on fire and you crushed us all under its weight."

"I remember."

"Well, in the last moments that her spirit left her body I latched to it." Vera sniffed, "It means that where she goes, I go."

"You brought her back here just so I'd come back within your grasp?"

"That's right." Vera clicked her tongue against her teeth as John closed his eyes, kneading his palms there. "I know your brain might be a bit small to handle it but the reality of the situation, John, is that you'll never be free of me as long as you pursue her. I'll dog your every step and haunt your every moment with her."

"I can send you away." John raised a hand, "I've done it before and I can tell I'm stronger than you. Being here's weakened you since you can't feed directly on the suffering you cause."

"I'm not a vampire John."

"You're nothing but." John shook his head at her in disgust. "You're nothing but a creature of the shadows and I'll banish you there."

"You'd have to undo the binding on me first." Vera adjusted her skirt, her calm demeanor stopping John in his tracks. "Then you'd have to risk my rise over this world again. Risk me ruining the world again while you fall in love."

"You think I give a damn about the world when my happiness is within my grasp?" John pointed to Anna, practicing below them on the stage. "You think I'd give her up again when I've scoured the earth for her?"

"I think you'd feel that disgusting loyalty and guilt you always felt because you're so bloody noble."

"None of it would matter if I could be mortal with her."

"And what would it mean to her?" Vera waited, opening her hands to him. "You believe love is the full expression of the heart and yet you'll risk the inevitable lie of telling her you released a terror on the world so you could have her."

"She'll understand."

"If she gets the chance." Vera turned, her arms folding over her chest again as she watched Anna. "It's your choice John but if you don't release us I'll kill her again and if you do then I'll burn this earth."

John could only swallow as Vera turned to him, "That, John, was a threat. I hope you recognize the difference now."


	12. Perspection

Anna hurried out of the contraption, Tom helping her unbuckle all the straps before lifting it over her head while Henry hurried over with a large shirt and a pillow. She thrust her arms through the sleeves and raised them over her head so Henry could pad her chest with the pillow and tie it in place. With a sharp elbow to it Anna adjusted the disguise.

"Good enough?"

"I'd button the shirt first." Tom winked, dodging the other pillow Henry snapped at his head. "Henry can distract him as you finish getting ready."

"I guess we should've assumed the Crown Prince would want to meet me after I flew over his head." Anna tucked the edges of her buttoned shirt into her skirt while reaching one-handed toward the wig on the table.

"It's why I brought all of this out." Henry snatched the wig from her, forcing Anna to pull her hair up and back. "I thought shining the mirror directly at you when you flew over him would've stopped him seeing your face."

"I think you just made him more convinced I was actually an angel." Anna passed half the pins to Henry and took care to secure the other side of the wig. "As long as he doesn't recognize me then the show goes on."

"We only just broke even tonight." Henry sighed, "I was looking forward to more full houses with all the good reviews we're getting."

"All good things come to an end, Henry." Anna stepped away, holding her arms out for inspection. "Is it enough?"

"Depends on how much attention he's paid you in the past."

Anna snorted, "Not enough to tell my face from any other without an introduction. Like Cinderella he'd have to try the slipper on every woman in the kingdom just to know who I am without an escort."

"Like the bodyguard waiting in the hall?" Tom used his elbow to point to the door as he gathered the equipment for their show and stored it appropriately.

Anna groaned, "I forgot all about him."

"He didn't forget about you." Tom leaned toward her, whispering. "Something about him sets me on edge."

"Edge how?"

"Like he's single-minded and if he believes we're a danger he'd end us."

"That's just his job, Tom."

He shrugged, holding up his hands in surrender, and nodded toward the door. "He's been there all evening."

"Again, that's his job."

"Just be careful about him."

"I'll keep that in mind." Anna motioned to Henry. "We'd best go before they get impatient."

"I thought you wanted them to leave." Henry held the door for her and Anna barely noted John following them down the corridor.

"I do but I'm not an idiot. If we ignore a requested audience with the Crown Prince we'll never open anywhere ever again."

"Maybe it'd be best for us all to vanish into the night after this." Henry nodded toward the door, "He could end it all for us if he recognizes you."

"And then I endure the scorn of my class while you and Tom go back to what, exactly?" Anna waited but Henry only grinned. "What?"

"We were hoping to get jobs with you."

Anna swatted him away and waited for Henry to open the next door. Those inside the room clapped politely, all going silent when the Crown Prince stood. He walked the floor toward Anna and she curtsied before him.

"Your Royal Highness," Henry's voice floated above Anna's head, "May I present the illustrious illusionist, Ms. Raven Law?"

"She is rather impressive." Anna rose, holding still as the Crown Prince took her hand. "Though I thought you appeared slightly different from a distance."

"Part of the illusion, Your Royal Highness."

"I see." He narrowed his eyes at her and Anna held her breath but his eyes glazed and he turned back to Henry. "You must be very proud of her."

"She's a miracle in and of herself." Henry put a hand to his chest, "I'm merely the conductor of a symphony of one, Your Royal Highness."

"A symphony that dazzles and shines like the sun." The Crown Prince smiled at them, "I believe we should have you at the palace, to impress my father."

"Your Royal Highness is too kind." Anna pitched her voice higher than her normal register, working a twinge of an accent to it. "I'm nothing more than a stage performer. I'm not sure the grandeur of the palace would be at all suitable for one such as myself."

The Crown Prince only laughed, "The palace has seen a great many simpler things than yourself. I'm sure you'll be nothing but welcome in those cold halls."

Anna swallowed, "We serve at the pleasure of the Crown, Your Royal Highness."

"Then next time we'll get our best minds together and see if we can better understand your illusions." The Crown Prince stopped again, frowning as he studied her over before shaking his head. "An angel is only as powerful as the deity she serves."

"Then I'll hope I'm serving the right one to continue bringing mystery and entertainment, Your Royal Highness."

She and Henry curtsied and bowed to the Crown Prince as he, and his retinue, left the room. Once the door closed Anna sighed, pulling the pins from her hair to drop them into Henry's waiting palm. With a sigh she tugged the wig from her head and took a chair.

"He's just as insufferable when you're expecting him to pay a compliment."

"He almost recognized you." Henry accepted the wig from her and shrugged, "Make the next show our last and then sink back into the scenery."

"We've only just covered our opening costs, Henry."

"And I'm not gambling with our lives or your reputation." Henry pointed back toward the dressing room. "Tom'd agree with me."

"Then you're both just scared."

"No, Anna, we're smart." Henry took the chair next to her, helping her remove the belt and pillow. "Tom and I are business men with jobs but we're also men. Someone finds out we ran this and they'll laugh and joke but they'll get over it. If you get caught-"

"They'll call me a slut and a fallen woman and I'll be left alone in a big house with a disappointed uncle who'll have to go abroad to find me a husband." Anna rested her head back on the chair, "Maybe we were just dreaming this whole time."

"Of course we were." Henry helped her stand, "But it doesn't mean it wasn't a good dream."

"We did have fun with it, didn't we?"

"We certainly did."

They took the corridor back to the dressing room, Anna arranging herself enough to meet John in the hall. He followed her to the carriage, helping her in before joining her with a snap of the door. Without prompting he closed his eyes for Anna to change.

"You're well trained Mr. Bates."

"I was in the army."

"You mentioned that." Anna removed her clothing carefully, her breath hissing out when her injured shoulder caught.

"Are you alright?"

"Just the harness for the wings biting into my shoulder." Anna rubbed at it, raising an eyebrow at the furrows of concern in his forehead even with his eyes closed. "I don't suppose you happen to know something to address the pain."

"I do, actually," He reached forward but stopped himself, "If it's not too impertinent."

"I'd be a fool to refuse since I inquired." Anna shifted to put her right shoulder toward him and jumped a little when his fingers touched her.

"Did I do something wrong?"

"You've got cold fingers."

"I apologize." He clapped his hands together, rubbing them furiously for a moment before fingering her shoulder. "Better?"

"Less frigid."

He laughed, his eyes still closed, as he felt over her shoulder. "You're not generous with your compliments Ms. Smith."

"And you're not generous with your words in general, Mr. Bates." Anna sighed at the feeling of his fingers working over her skin. "Did the army make you silent?"

"Tragedy did."

"What kind of tragedy, if I make ask?" Anna moved closer to him and almost tipped sideways. He caught her, bringing her to his lap to better mold the muscles and skin under his skilled fingers. She paused, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't pry and I-"

"No, it's perfectly alright to be curious." He pressed on her muscle and she winced, "Sorry, you've a knot there."

"I think I know that now." Anna tried to shift into his fingers to ease the pain of the massage. "But you haven't answered the question."

"You only just asked it." She turned to see his face smiling, even in the dark of the carriage with his eyes closed. "And it's difficult to find the words."

"Because it was so painful?"

"Partly. Mostly because there are no words sufficient to express the depth of feeling one has when they lose someone so dear to them."

"You lost someone?" The scratch of his head against the seat told her he nodded his replay. "Someone close to you?"

"The only woman I've ever loved."

"Did she love you?"

"More than I deserved."

Anna's voice was a whisper, "How did she die?"

"In my arms."

They were silent a moment until Anna realized his hands stopped moving on her shoulder. She slid back to her seat, pulling her shirt and jacket on to finish dressing. When she cleared her throat he opened his eyes and bowed his head to her.

"I apologize if I've dampened the success of your evening."

"Not at all." Anna tried to smile but her mouth would not sustain the motion. "It's actually been a rather enlightening experience."

"How so?"

"Tonight I realized that while I've enjoyed my double life, it can't continue forever. After this week Henry, Tom, and I all go our separate ways and Raven Law vanishes, never to return, and the Duchess Von Reyvaan returns to her elegant trudge through the most eligible suitors who plod along in a line that becomes progressively duller the longer it continues."

"Was that why you did all this? To escape the drudge of your existence?"

"You could say that." She sighed, sitting back against the seat. "I've got my charity work and other endeavors but those are all very hands-off, if you know what I mean."

"I don't, actually."

"They want a face, not actual hands." Anna held up her own for demonstration. "They want someone to support the work financially, to advocate for them generally, but they don't want another person to help."

"You're trapped in the life where everyone wants your name or title or money but no one wants you."

Anna nodded, "I think you're the first person to truly understand that."

"I've seen it before."

"Another protection assignment?"

His little laugh and smile confused her, "It was that."

"With whom?"

John faced her, pursing his lips before answering. "Someone very much like yourself."

"Bold, forthright, and prone to stating her mind?"

"She was a bit more reserved, than yourself, but no les elegant or refined or graceful or even determined." John took a breath, "What others might've seen as a lack of spine I saw as quiet strength. She knew how to fight her corner and while she was the kindest person I ever met she didn't suffer fools."

"You loved her." Anna shook herself, "I mean, she must've been someone you loved very much to speak so highly of her."

"Yes, I loved her very much and I thought the world of her."

Anna's mouth opened slightly, "She was the woman who died, in your arms?"

John nodded, "Life can be very unkind to us in our joy."

"It's less kind in our sorrows, Mr. Bates." The carriage pulled to a stop and Anna took a breath. "What will you tell my uncle?"

"You mean since we've been gone the whole day?" John shrugged, "I thought I'd tell him you met with a friend for lunch and that led you to a service event with your friend. You took dinner with an old acquaintance with a charity matter you wish to address before dedicating your evening to attending a live reading."

"That sounds almost rehearsed, Mr. Bates."

"I've had most of the day to think about it." John preceded her out of the carriage, offering his hand to help her out. "It's my job to protect you and, in this case, that means offering you a cover with your uncle."

"And you don't feel guilt about lying to your employer?"

"You'll soon be retired from the life of showmanship so I've no worries about maintaining a fiction that will not affect him long term."

"You've a broad view of what it means to protect people."

"I'm very adept at my job." John allowed her to enter the house first but her uncle was not waiting for her. "Though it seems I'm not needed tonight."

"I'll need you tomorrow." Anna rolled her eyes, "I sent a note earlier to the Crown Prince, apologizing for having to refuse his invitation to the show tonight, and asked if he'd agree to a picnic tomorrow."

"By your expression can I assume he agreed?"

Anna gave a curt nod, "He was nothing if not overjoyed by the thought of our spending time together."

"What would you have me do?"

"I can't attend without a chaperone and I don't much care for his retinue so I need someone on my side to be by my side."

"I'm sure I could do that." John bowed to her, "Until tomorrow, Ms. Smith."

"Until tomorrow Mr. Bates." Anna ascended the stairs, sneaking looks at him until she entered her room. The red-haired girl there rose from her place and immediately helped Anna remove her clothing. "Thank you Gwen and I promise, tomorrow night you won't be up this late."

"Early evening tomorrow milady?"

"One can only hope." Anna pulled at her earrings and bent under her necklace as Gwen lifted it over her head. "I'm actually rather attached to the idea that I might even be without the insufferable attentions of the Crown Prince."

"There are benefits to enduring his interest." Gwen folded Anna's clothing over her arm as Anna worked out of her skirt.

"I'm sure you've given it considerable thought."

"I've thought how nice it'd be to live in the palace."

"It's drafty and cold in the summer, Gwen. The wind howls there in the winter." Anna shook her head, "This place holds heat far better."

"There's the gardens or lovely seating at any venue you desire or even the fact that people you detest have to bow in your presence."

Anna shrugged, musing on the thought a moment. "I'm not saying it's completely without its merits. I'm just saying I'm not sure if its worth the suffering to gain them."

"What kind of suffering, milady?"

"According to Mr. Bates the Crown Prince is syphilitic."

Gwen shuddered, "I wouldn't doubt it but if you want to be sure I'm sure I could pass some feelers around to find out."

Anna turned, facing Gwen while handing her the skirt. "You could really do that?"

"Of course."

"How?"

Gwen smiled, "There's an analogy, in Japan, that while the tree branches do not always touch, the root systems interlock."

"I'm not a botanist and I'm a little frazzled so I'm not sure I entirely understand."

"It means, milady, that while you and the Crown Prince may not meet often in public or obtain the answers you want in a direct way, those who work under you often interact and could share information at will." Gwen straightened the clothes on her arm. "If you're interested, that is."

"Very." Anna pulled her nightgown over her head, pausing to arrange her hair before taking a seat for Gwen to take it down. "And I'm impressed you could make an analogy from something Japanese."

"The books in your library are very informative." Gwen leaned over Anna's shoulder to place the pins in a dish there. "When would you want to know?"

"As soon as possible. I'm picnicking with him tomorrow and I'd rather know if he has a contagious disease before I risk him touching me." Anna rubbed cream over her hands, "And, if you can, find out what anyone knows about Mr. Bates."

"For good or ill?"

Anna met Gwen's eyes in the mirror. "For all things."

"He's that interesting milady?"

"He's something and I don't know what yet and that scares me a bit." Anna played her finger over the necklace on her table. "He said he lost a woman he loved once but I think there's more to it."

"How much more?"

"I'm not sure but I want to find out. Or," Anna exchanged smiles with Gwen in the mirror, "I want you to find out."

"My pleasure milady."


	13. I Will Now Make You Disappear

Anna pulled the cord next to her bed and stretched a moment. The door opened and Gwen entered, dark circles under her eyes. Anna stopped her with a hand to her shoulder.

"What's got you looking so out of sorts Gwen?"

"I was up all night milady."

"You're not sick I hope." Anna removed her nightgown, laying it over the end of her bed as Gwen loosened the corset strings and brought it to Anna's torso. "I wouldn't want you getting ill."

"I'm not milady, no need to worry."

"If you are then I want you to go immediately to Doctor Clarkson. Take whatever time you need to be well because I need you in top form if we're to survive the upcoming Season."

"I will be. In fact," Gwen tightened the strings and Anna took a moment to breathe out before nodding for Gwen to continue. "I was looking into what you asked me last night."

"And?"

"Through a network of maids I know I can confirm that the Crown Prince really does have syphilis."

"That's very unfortunate." Anna attempted to draw breaths as deeply as she could for a moment, pointing at a tie. "Loosen that a touch and we'll be right as rain."

"Here?"

"That one." The oxygen rushed Anna's lungs and she sighed, "Thank you."

"Any others?"

"No, that was perfect." Anna took the dress from Gwen's hand, working into the petticoats and skirt. "Was there anything else to tell about the Crown Prince?"

"Only that the Royal Family's been trying to keep it quiet but a few promising prospects already got wind of it and won't take his invitations any more." Gwen helped pull up Anna's hem before pinning it in place. "He has spells where he's disoriented and ranting about people and places before he settles and remembers none of it."

"Sometimes it worries me that I know so little about your life and yet you know everything there is to know about mine." Anna shook her head, "They're not watching the servants' mouths?"

"We only ever gossip to one another but the woman they think gave him the disease found out after the fact and she'd already spread the story of their little… tryst so its leaking its way into the right ears."

"And he's hoping I haven't heard it yet?"

"I think he's hoping no one's heard it but those around him aren't so foolish." Gwen stood, tugging on Anna's sleeve to get her arm through it. "This might be a bit too tight now milady."

"It's all the work Henry and Tom needed me to do so I could perform." Anna shrugged, "I'll just work on not raising my arms above my head until my muscles lose the tone."

"I think it's empowering what you do with Mr. Talbot and Mr. Branson."

"I do too but we had a close call last night." Anna closed her eyes, "Tomorrow night's our last performance and then it's over. The great experiment ends."

"Then we'll have the chance to delve a little deeper into what else I found last night."

Anna took the seat at her table, looking at Gwen in the glass. "What else did you find?"

"When you mentioned wanting to know more about Mr. Bates I remembered a picture I saw in your uncle's library, of Mr. Bates, and I went to look for it."

"What'd you find? My uncle's service records?"

"It wasn't in his service records milady." Gwen stopped, her hand on the brush, about to take it to Anna's hair. "It was a drawing in one of the diagnostics on the American Revolution."

"What?"

Gwen nodded, "He was a noted British General who took part in the surrender at Yorktown."

"That's impossible. Mr. Bates is definitely more mature but he's only twenty years my senior, not ninety."

"That's not all milady. I did further digging and I found references to a John Bates at least seven times before I encountered a general stationed at one of the castles in Northumberland, near Scotland, during the reign of King Robert."

"A short-lived reign if we're both talking about the same Robert."

"Son of William the Conqueror milady."

Anna put her hands in her lap, meeting Gwen's eyes in the mirror. "Are you suggesting to me, with all your reason and accounting appropriately for your sleep deprived state, that the Mr. Bates serving as my bodyguard bears semblance and possible relation to eight historical individuals?"

"Possibly more, milady, but I only found eight."

"Then he's from a long line of protectors and defenders." Anna looked through her jewelry and selected the desired pieces. "Family businesses are like that."

"I didn't say they were his relations, milady."

Anna turned around her on seat to see Gwen wringing her hands over the hairbrush still clutched in her grip. "Then what are you suggesting Gwen?"

"Begging your pardon milady but you'll think I'm mad."

"If you're thinking what I am then we'll both be mad together." Anna rubbed her eyes, "He suggested to me, last night, that souls are reincarnated. That we're born again to different bodies."

"Then why'd he look exactly the same?"

Anna chewed the inside of her cheek, "Then you're saying he's immortal?"

"The Greeks believed their gods occasionally walked among them, in disguise, and what I hear of those in India they believe their gods take human avatars all the time."

"Then we're seriously having a debate about the potential godhood of my bodyguard?"

"It would seem we are, milady." They stared at one another a minute before both burst into laughter. "It's all rather absurd in a way."

"It certainly is but the best kind of absurdity." Anna held up the final pieces, "I should get ready or my uncle'll give me another lecture on punctuality to breakfast."

* * *

John opened the carriage door, holding out his hand to help Anna descend as her other hand grasped the edge of her skirt to keep it clear of her feet. She smiled her gratitude toward him and turned slightly to give instructions to those leaving the cart right behind them. "Just follow the directions of Mr. Sampson there. He'll show you where the picnic's taking place."

Anna huffed, a frown creasing her face. John bent toward her ear so she could hear him over the noise of the road and the preparations. "Can I assume by your reaction that Mr. Sampson's not our friend?"

"He's no one's friend but his own. He's the Crown Prince's valet and therefore thinks he's better than everyone else."

"Not the nicest of chaps then?"

"He's an ass."

John laughed, "Not the word I thought you'd use."

"Surprised I have it in my refined vocabulary Mr. Bates?" Anna led them forward, giving her largest smile to Mr. Sampson's waved instructions before scowling.

"Not at all. Just surprised you'd find someone worthy to have you say it about them." John helped her over the little spring and onto the rise ringed with soldiers and their swords. "Given all the little pricks you probably meet it'd take a higher level of inundation to deserve such an appellation."

"Did you swallow a dictionary this morning with your breakfast, Mr. Bates?"

"Being well-read is not a crime."

"It's unusual in the circles that give me no end of little children to coddle and preen at social functions." Anna stopped, putting a hand out that almost caught his arm. "My tone didn't properly convey the level of surprise and admiration I have for your vocabulary, Mr. Bates. Or, it would seem, you in general."

"I'm humbled to meet your high esteem so soon into our rather abrupt association." He bowed to her but caught the question in her eyes. "I do hope you didn't misinterpret that as rudeness."

"No," Anna shook her head, eyes narrowing as if she was trying to place his face. "It's just… the more time I spend in your presence, Mr. Bates, the more convinced I am that we've met before. That we knew one another somewhere else."

"Or, perhaps, sometime else?"

Anna nodded, "If it's not too heretical to say."

"We're past the age of inquisitions, Ms. Smith."

"Obviously you've not spent enough time with my peer group."

"A fact for which I could not begin to express the depth of my delight." John waved a hand, "Shall we not keep your guest waiting much longer?"

"He could wait until his precious organ falls off for all I care about it."

John tried to hold back a chuckle, "And we know just how soon that might happen so we'd best proceed."

Anna grinned back, "Yes we'd better."

John took her to the inner ring of guards and bowed with her curtsy with the Crown Prince approached. He sniffed at John before taking Anna's hand to kiss it. "What a pleasure to see you here Duchess."

"I'm sure the pleasures are all mine, Your Royal Highness."

"Please," He raised a hand like refusing a great favor out of habit. "We're in private and I do so want us to be on a more… personal level."

"Oh?"

"Yes Anna," His grip tightened around her hand and John bit back on his jaw to stop himself moving to rescue her from his grip. "I want us to know one another intimately so I'd appreciate if you call me Alexander."

"If it's your wish then I'll accept." Anna snaked her hand away, "But I'm famished and since we'd agreed to lunch I think we shouldn't let my cook's fine work go to waste."

"That would be the height of rudeness." Alexander led Anna to the table, waving off the footman as he drew Anna's seat back for her. "I her she's rather a terror in your kitchen."

"She's a master and with that comes a degree of eccentricity."

"The same eccentricity that brings that man with you?" Alexander waited for the footman to pull out his seat and flipped the napkin to his lap.

"He's my uncle's choice, to keep me protected since he heard so many frightening things about London while he was abroad."

"America, was it?" Alexander swirled his drink. "I heard he was hunting for a wife to take your title."

"My uncle's not so conniving as all that." Anna waved the footman off her glass. "We all deserve happiness, don't you think?"

"I do." Alexander set his drink down, shifting in his chair to turn his legs toward Anna. "In fact, it's why I invited you to the performance last night."

"I do apologize that I had to refuse."

"Oh," Alexander laughed, "It wasn't worth the price of admission. Just a woman trying to make her life more entertaining by pretending at skills. Rather embarrassing, really, given her appearance."

John watched Anna's fingers clench over her utensils, the cutlery practically vibrating in her grasp. "I'd heard good things."

"Couldn't have been too good since tomorrow night'll be her last show."

"How unfortunate for her."

"What would be unfortunate, Anna," Alexander reached over the table, oblivious to the grip Anna kept on her knife. "Would be for the two of us to miss the opportunity staring us in the face."

"And which opportunity is that?"

"Marriage."

John's eyes darted from the disgustingly sincere Alexander to the swiftly paling Anna. She swallowed, regaining what she could of her composure. "Marriage?"

"You are familiar with the institution, I believe."

"My parents were married and many of my childhood friends have since joined the ranks of the harmonious matrimony." Anna cleared her throat, "I just fear that I've given you the wrong impression, Alexander, if you believe I'm the kind of person to whom you should be suggesting such a daring proposal."

"And why's that?"

"My family's title is relatively old but it's Dutch. Further, the titles I claim for England are northern areas under contestation with my cousin, Thomas. I'm not in a position to offer any kind of matrimonious benefits should such a union occur."

"All the better to increase our foreign interests."

"Alexander, I'd still need the approval of my uncle and there are other formalities to think through like a dowry and my position and-"

"You think I care about your dowry or your squabbles with your cousin or any of your petty concerns when I'm faced with the threat of losing my kingdom to my younger brother?" Alexander's fist pounded the table and Anna jumped. "I'm looking for a wife and you should be overwhelmed I even deigned look in your direction. You ungrateful little-"

"Your Royal Highness," John stepped forward, shielding Anna with his body as Alexander used both his hands to lean over the table. "I think it would be best that you allow the first course."

"First course?" Alexander seethed, "What do I care about-"

"The food, Your Royal Highness." John waited, studying Alexander's eyes before they cleared.

He blinked and sat back down, mouth moving as though searching for words he stored there in the interim. "Yes, the first course. Soup was it?"

"A lovely minestrone, apparently." Anna's hands shook as she arranged her napkin over her lap. "My cook labored for some time on it."

"Then let's not disappoint her." He clapped his hands, "Serve."

John kept his post at Anna's shoulder, eyes never leaving Alexander. The rest of the meal went well, the conversation stilted but civil, and once the last plate cleared Alexander smiled over the table at Anna. A slight tremor persisted in her hands but she tried to smile back at him.

"This was such a lovely opportunity, Anna."

"I'm glad you accepted it by way of apology for last night."

"Yes, you said."

"Did I?" Anna's smiled tightened over her jaw, fingers twisting in the napkin at her lap. "I just wanted you to know how sorry I was for the confusion."

"I hope you'll be as forgiving for my earlier outburst. I've not been myself lately." Alexander coughed to the side, "A bit of illness that the doctors say'll pass shortly."

"Will it now?"

"We've the best doctors. One all the way from Geneva." Alexander sighed, "The Swiss, such a healthy people."

"So I've heard." Anna glanced down at the table before back up to meet Alexander's eyes. "I do hope you also realize that I can't accept your proposal under our current circumstances."

"Which are?"

"You're still courting interest from foreign powers, so I hear, and I've other concerns that keep me rather occupied. I'm afraid marriage, without the approval of my uncle and your father, would be a dream never to see fruition." Anna lifted a hand, "We're servants of our callings and therefore not in control of our own destinies."

"What if my father and your uncle were to approve the match?"

"As I said," Anna put her napkin on the table, "We're servants, nothing more. If it's the wish of my uncle and the Crown I'll bow to their desires."

"But not otherwise?"

"It might be childish fantasy but I've always hoped to marry for love, Alexander, and the truth is that one can't have love with someone they don't know."

"We've known one another our whole lives, Anna."

"No, we've known versions of one another our whole lives." Anna shook her head, "We're just names and faces to one another, nothing more."

"Then you wouldn't consider it?"

"I've no reason to suspect that we should." She went to push back and John helped her with the seat as Alexander stood as well. "I'm honored that you considered me worthy of such a proposal and I've nothing but gratitude for it."

"You'll still refuse?"

"I can't rightly accept something that' neither mine to receive nor yours to give, Alexander." Anna curtsied, "But I'll remember this day with fondness all the same, Your Royal Highness."

"As will I, Duchess."

He kissed her hand again and Anna pivoted to John. He strained to hear her as she hissed at him through her teeth. "Get me as far from here as you can without arousing suspicion that I'm running for my life please."

"As you wish." John led Anna back to the carriage and helped her inside, knocking the side for it to move as he shut the door. He waited a moment before speaking. "Are you alright?"

"Should I be?"

"No."

"Good." Anna's breath practically rattled from her shaking body. "Because I'm terrified and I don't think I've ever felt this scared in my whole life."

John's hands closed over hers, "You're safe now, Ms. Smith."

"Am I?" She gave a quivering laugh but John caught the tears edging her eyes. "I've given up what I love most to protect my reputation and now a crazed prince desires my hand. How can I be safe?"

"Because I'll let no harm come to you."

"You can't fight the private guard or the Crown Prince."

"I'd fight the devil himself if it meant keeping you from harm." John realized his hand was still on Anna's and went to draw away. "I'm sorry I-"

She clutched at his hand, shaking her head, "Don't. I feel like your hand is the only thing keeping me from flying in a million directions at once."

"Then I'll stay here as long as you need me to." John gave a little snort, whispering to himself without realizing he verbalized the words. "I promised I'd stay with your forever."

"What?" Anna's voice broke the reverie and John started, the carriage pulling to a stop.

"Nothing."

"You just said something."

"Nothing." John kept his tone firm, opening the door to the carriage. "I'll go back to ensure the picnic cleared away since you don't trust Mr. Sampson."

"No, James'll do that and you'll stay here and tell me what you just mumbled in that carriage."

John frowned at Anna's expression. "I'm your bodyguard, Ms. Smith."

"Which is why your best use is near me and explaining yourself."

"There's nothing to explain."

"Isn't there?" Anna folded her arms over her chest, "I'm sure there's more to explain than you'll admit, Mr. Bates and you can chose the venue for the conversation because I'm fine with it in the street where anyone can hear us but I don't think you will be."

John went to say something but gave in to a groan, "Your uncle's library would be best. He's out until this evening and we'll need the quiet."

"I hoped you'd say that."

He frowned, not appreciating the satisfaction in her voice or the set of her jaw. No matter what he thought he followed her inside all the same. John even caught sight of the nod passed between Anna and her redheaded maid as they entered the library.

John took to the middle of the floor as Anna slid the doors closed and faced him. He opened his hands to her but Anna swept past him to the table. Her finger pointed down at the page of an open book that John had to step closer to the table to see clearly was a picture of him in a Regency-era military dress uniform.

"Is this you?"

"I don't know if I should answer that."

Anna gave a sharp laugh, "I'm sure we don't have to slit our palms and share blood oaths of secrecy to ensure we're not going to bring about the other's ruin, Mr. Bates, and while I realized we didn't swear never to lie to each other I'd like some honesty here."

"I've never been anything but honest."

"Lies of omission are half-truths at best, Mr. Bates." Anna held up another book, "And this man, is he also you?"

John looked over the table, "To whom do I owe the praise for determined research?"

"Gwen did it." Anna dropped the book, coming back around the table to face him. "Who are you?"

"I told you, my name's John Bates."

"And how long've you been John Bates?"

John kept his face straight, refusing to drop her gaze. "My whole life."

"And how long has that been, exactly?"

"There's no easy answer to that."

"Why not?" Anna opened her hands, "Because you're a reincarnated person who knows they're reincarnated or because you're immortal or because-"

"Because rotations of this earth about the sun are only counted in the slivers of eternity I've been away from you." John closed his eyes, biting back on his tone. "I'm sorry, that was rather impertinent of me. Not to mention undignified."

Anna did not respond, her only motions a blink and then a swallow. "Why?"

"Because we've been bound to one another for some time and I've been waiting for you to come back to me."

"Back to you?"

"What I said, last night in the carriage, about reincarnation isn't just a thought of a distant religion. It's real and it's taking place before my eyes."

Anna nodded, pacing away from him as if she needed the motion to sort her thoughts. "And you, you've been reincarnated as well and you just remembered what we were to one another before?"

"No, I'm not reincarnated."

"Then how do you know who I am?" Anna threw a hand up, bringing it down to slap on her skirt and echo over the physical space between them while it also resonated with an unsatisfying thud in John's chest as he comprehended the space between them emotionally. "Because you feel so familiar to me it's like I could find you with my eyes closed but I know I've never met you before my uncle foisted you on me."

"In this life you haven't."

"But we've shared a life before?" John nodded and Anna put her hands on either side of her head, "I feel like I'm going mad because my head has no explanation for what I feel but my heart screams for me to say yes to you. To trust you when I've no reason to."

"None at all?" John risked a step toward her. "Do you not trust me?"

"Logically? Yes, in a general sense after what you prevented today." Anna shuddered, "I don't know what would've happened if you hadn't been there."

"I can make guesses but it wouldn't do any of us any good." John took another step, stopping just in line with Anna. "But I think you wanted to say something else."

"Did I?"

John stopped right in front of her, taking a finger to trace gently down a loose hair before tucking it back behind her ear. "You said 'logically'."

"I did." Anna's breath caught a bit but she did not back away. "What does it matter?"

"It leads me to believe, perhaps mistakenly, that perhaps you had something you wanted to add to your answer."

"As to whether or not I trust you?"

"Yes." John clasped his hands behind his back, waiting.

"Illogically, emotionally, and defying all known reason or rationality I feel like I could give you my life and you'd return it in better condition than you found it." She stared toward the windows, squinting a moment before turning back to him. "When you treated my shoulder I felt more concern and care than I've ever felt from anyone. Your first instinct today was to protect me. And when you could lie about what you are you told me the truth."

"I told you part of the truth." John admitted, "The truth itself is a little harder to understand."

"But I trust you'll tell me in time." Anna gave a small smile. "One day I'll hear your truth about it all won't I?"

"I'd be a poor return on your trust if I didn't."

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why do I feel like I searched for you my whole life when I didn't even know I needed you?"

"Because we're bonded, Ms. Smith, in ways that are difficult to adequately explain but, for now, I can say that your soul is tied to mine." John looked at the ground, running his eyes over a pattern in the rug there. "I could find a way to free you of it, to set us both free but-"

Anna put a hand on his wrist, forcing his eyes to hers. "Do you want that?"

John swallowed, "Never."

"I can't marry the Crown Prince." John's jaw gaped a little. "It's more than his sickness or his instability or arrogance."

"What is it?"

"I know that I'd never be happy if I chose anyone but you." Her hand went to his face, hesitating a moment before her skin touched his.

The contact sent a shiver through John and he covered her hand with his but he only held her there while he shook his head. "You and I both know that we can't be together."

"Even when I feel like this? When I don't even have words for how I feel about you because the emotions run so deep?" Anna used her other hand to hold his face in place, keeping their eyes locked. "Even when my soul is breaking apart at the mere thought of losing someone I don't even know?"

"Even then."

"I can't explain how or why I feel like I do about you."

"And while I can it won't be enough for anyone else."

"I don't care about anyone else."

"But you should," John lowered her hands, staring at them as he held them apart through their connection there. "And I should've cared more the first time. When I didn't-"

"I died?" John nodded and Anna took her hands back, holding them to herself. "You're trying to do something noble and save me that fate twice aren't you?"

"You wouldn't believe the details of the why, Ms. Smith."

Anna's face hardened and she stepped forward, "Try me."

Before John could answer she surged upward, using hands he did not anticipate at his neck to hold herself in position, and kissed him. He stumbled forward but she held firm, stopping them from topping over. Just when John risked his hands forward to hold her she broke the kiss and stepped away.

"I'm stronger than I look, Mr. Bates. And while I'm not a fool I'm not ignorant either."

"I never thought of you as either."

"Therefore, if you insist that it's for my safety then, as my bodyguard, I should heed your warning." Ann gathered her breath, "We're nothing to each other, Mr. Bates. Whatever we were once, we are no more."


	14. Illusim

Anna blinked and tried to plaster her false smile on her face again. The man facing her did not seem to notice as he continue to blather on about pepper and its numerous homes and various properties. She cleared her throat, stopping him before he detailed her on the specific wind pattern to get pepper from India.

"I just saw a friend enter the ballroom and I hope you don't find me rude when I go to greet him."

"Of course not Duchess but I was just about to-"

"Perfect." Anna broke away from the man and walked to the tall figure with slicked, black hair just entering the room. "Cousin, how are you?"

"Surprised you even took the time to notice my presence." He kissed her cheek, noticing the man in the corner she just fled. "Ah, avoiding Lord Castleroy I see."

"He's pleasant enough but I made the mistake of asking about his professional interests."

"Not sure how much you care about pepper except that you don't like it under your nose or in your drinks."

Anna scowled, "That was a horrible joke that had me sore for hours."

"You were the one who spewed it all over the Countess of Grantham."

"You put it in my drink."

"Bygones be bygones," Thomas held up a hand, "Care for a dance, cousin?"

"Enough to allow a turn with you." Anna took position with him and they began around the room, "I've been told Ms. Lavina Swire's been seen in your company lately."

"Is that jealousy I hear?"

"Surprise actually." Anna dipped back and lifted gracefully back to Thomas's arms. "I didn't expect you to kowtow to our uncle's wishes."

"It's more for appearances."

"Does Lavina know?"

"She's aware that I spent some time with the Duke of Crowborough in less than acceptable circumstances but she's not of a position to refuse the chance to one day be the Duchess of Reyvaan."

"You realize I'd have to die first, yes?"

"I know how inheritance works."

"Funny since I thought, if you were the Duke of Reyvaan, my children would have to be your heirs because you don't like to practice procreation with women." Anna faced Thomas when they came together for another beat of the song. "Am I wrong to assume that?"

"You're wrong to assume that's a guarantee." Thomas spun Anna out, bringing her back with elegance before they continued their turns about the room. "Worst case scenario was always that we married one another, like Uncle Robert wants."

"We both know we'd kill one another in a week and we could never actually stomach the thought of marriage." Anna snorted, "You always preferred my carriage driver to me."

"He's got a nice personality."

"And a nice ass." Anna raised an eyebrow when Thomas stumbled, "I'm a woman. Didn't you think I noticed?"

"I didn't think you cared for his ass."

"I don't but I'm not blind."

"Then I hope you're also not deaf." Thomas stopped them with the music. "I know about the little venture you undertook with Mr. Talbot and Mr. Branson."

"Who?"

"Don't play that game with me."

Anna held herself taller, "What's your point Thomas because I simply don't have time for games."

"I know that you, for a period, took on the persona of Raven Law so you could play a hand at being a stage illusionist."

"Even if that were true, Raven Law closed her show months ago. She's not even in England."

"I know she's right here." Thomas pointed at her. "And the circumstances stand thusly. Either you make me your heir and give up your title to me or I let the whole world know your secret."

"Don't threaten without proof, Thomas." Anna smiled, "Unfounded threats, without proof, are like a light breeze. They tickle the skin but leave nothing in their wake but a memory."

"Then know that I have Mr. Talbot and Mr. Branson in a position to admit their involvement with you." Thomas clicked his tongue against his teeth, "Imagine the scandal when the dignified, and perhaps more than a little aloof, Duchess of Reyvaan crumbles under the weight of the scandal."

"I'm stronger than that."

"No one's stronger than that." Thomas scoffed, "You'll fall to pieces like all the rest because you can't escape it."

"Watch me."

Thomas stepped toward her, "Will you really press me, cousin?"

"I'll challenge you until the day I die because you'd have to walk over my cold corpse before I'd leave my title to someone as unqualified as you."

"Because I like men?"

"Because you're a slimy, self-serving, conniving, bastard." Anna shook her head, "You're a disgrace, Thomas Barrow, and I hope you burn in hell."

"Strong words from a lady."

"Even stronger if I decide to expand my vocabulary." Anna curtsied to him, "Good evening."

"It will be for me."

Anna ignored him, heading for the doors where John waited. "We're leaving Mr. Bates."

"Very good milady." He gathered their coats and helped her into hers as they waited for the carriage.

Anna climbed into the carriage without a word, fuming in her seat as John joined her and rapped his knuckles on the back wall to signal James to go. She lost focus, staring at nothing in her funk until she thought she heard something. Blinking she focused on John. "What?"

"I was asking if you needed anything Ms. Smith." John used his open hand to point back toward the party they left. "You seem in quite a state and I wanted to know if there's something I can do to help with the situation."

"Unless you believe in assassination I think it's best we wait for my cooler head to prevail." Anna growled, "It's so like him."

"Like whom?"

"My cousin, Thomas." Anna beat her elbow back against the cushion. "He's always trying to scheme his way into my inheritance because he's still upset he didn't get it when my parents passed."

"Some can't accept that they're not entitled to what's not theirs."

Anna narrowed her eyes at him, "When you say things like that I get the feeling you speak from experience, Mr. Bates."

"I earned this," He tapped his right leg, "Fighting someone who believed I owed them my affections."

"I thought you injured yourself in battle."

"It was a battle."

"And that's where the story ends?"

"As far as you're concerned Ms. Smith, yes."

Anna snorted, "You're one of the most atrociously stubborn men I've ever met. I do hope you realize that."

"I'm well aware, having had the fortune to meet a great many men these past few months."

"Or misfortune."

"I'm at your service, Ms. Smith, and it's my fortune to be so."

"Then just my misfortune to parade a host of men through my home and life only to find myself disappointed by them." Anna allowed a touch of sadness to creep into her face, "I always hoped you'd change your mind."

"You made the decree Ms. Smith."

"After you stated, quite plainly, that you couldn't have anything to do with me." Anna shrugged, "I thought it would give you a challenge… not an ultimatum."

"You think I made the wrong choice."

"I don't know why there was a choice to be made at all."

"Despite our positions?"

"What we are to one another, Mr. Bates, transcends something as meaningless as our titles in public."

"So says the woman who just had it out with her cousin in a ballroom before leaving in a huff after he threatened you for that position."

Anna scowled, "Protecting my inheritance and my parents' legacy from Thomas Barrow is quite different from not giving a damn whether the Flintshires or the Sinderbys want me in their ballrooms."

"You need their ballrooms to make sure yours can be used as a hospital."

"Is this wisdom you gained in your trips around the karmic cycle?"

"It'd be the dharmic cycle and no," John went to open the door, "They're what I learned in all the years I walked the earth."

"Like the great wanderers?" Anna took his hand, descending to the pavement.

"Like the miserable, Ms. Smith." They entered the house without another word and he escorted her to her door before bowing, "I'll see you in the morning."

"Yes, I suppose you will." Anna offered her hand and he kissed it. She gripped his hand, holding him in place. When his eyes met hers she spoke in a low whisper. "You could stay."

"And risk the rumors?"

"It'd be worth it."

"To you, Ms. Smith, but not to me." John nodded at the door, "And if we entered that room together we'd not only scandalize your poor maid but we'd also cross a threshold I promised I wouldn't."

"And I have no say in the matter?" Anna released his hand, "Are you always going to ignore my choice?"

"Where it infringes on the choice I already made for myself, yes."

"Are you always so frustratingly noble?"

John laughed, "Only when defending the honor and lives of the woman I love."

"At least I know you love me." Anna put her hand on the knob where John covered it.

She met his eyes, more sincere than any she ever saw. "I'll always love you. If you believe nothing else, believe that."

"I do, Mr. Bates." Anna nodded at him, "I'll see you in the morning."

* * *

John stared down Mr. Sampson, holding position on the other side of the hall. The man smirked at John, turning another page in the newspaper before making a noise in his throat. Another page turned to the tune of the nonverbal noises and John frowned at him.

"Do you need a glass of water, Mr. Sampson?"

"A what?"

"A glass of water, Mr. Sampson." John tapped his own throat, "You keep making noises and I assumed you had a reason to do so."

"I do have a reason to do so." He folded the paper and held it out to John. "You might find it fascinating reading."

"I don't take to gossip or reading libelous statements."

"I do hope that's loyalty talking and not ignorance." Sampson clicked his tongue against his teeth, "It'd be disappointing otherwise."

"I'm not sure why you'd care one way or the other about what I think, Mr. Sampson."

"If all goes well in that room," Sampson nodded toward the door behind John's shoulder. "Then you and I'll work closely together."

"Will we?"

"Now you're just having me on." Sampson grinned, "We both know that your Duchess can't possibly refuse the Crown Prince's proposal twice and now, with this story about her being a street whore with two lovers and a stage production, she can't afford to reject the best proposal she'll ever get."

"First," John crowded Sampson back, the other man practically cowering under his glare. "You'll never refer to Her Grace, the Duchess of Reyvaan, in such demeaning terms again. Second, you'll understand that her virtue is not only intact but also beyond reproach but someone as low as yourself. Third, and this is the most crucial, should you ever speak to me again about what she can or can't get I'll plant my foot so far up your ass that you'll choke on it."

John stepped back, "Are we clear?"

Sampson could only nod as the door opened. John took at-attention position when the Crown Prince exited. He snapped and Sampson fell in line for the two of them to leave immediately. With the snap of the door John stepped into the doorway to the library.

His heart shattered as he saw Anna, crying profusely, bury her head in her uncle's shoulder. John lowered his gaze, stepping inside and to the side, and kept quiet to give them a minute. At the sound of Anna's full-bodied sob he looked up enough to meet her gaze. She shook her head, retreating from the room.

John followed her sounds, jumping at the slam of her door before turning to Robert. "Is there anything I can do, sir?"

"We're not in the army any longer Bates."

"You are, sir." John ducked his head, "I believe in respect to the last."

"Then you are the last." Robert collapsed into a chair. "I never wanted this for her."

John waited, watching Robert rub his hands over his face before sighing. "I wanted her married to someone she could stand. My farthest hopes wanted her to marry someone she loved but I would've settled for someone she bear the same room with instead of contemplating murder or suicide."

"Is that no longer the case?"

"I'm a monarchist, Bates. Always have been, always will be. I fight their wars on foreign shores, I ensure support from home, and I give myself to their every whim but this…" Robert shook his head, "That monster'll drive them right into the ground and now he'll take Anna with him."

"She didn't refuse?"

"With what Thomas used to slander her with there was no way she could afford to." Robert knocked the table beside him over, standing up in a rage. "For unfounded accusations she'll have to marry a man with a thin thread separating him from madness."

"Mr. Sampson mentioned something about it in the corridor."

"Mr. Sampson." Robert snorted, "That man was the one who ensured our future monarch got himself infected. And that's the man who'll run the Crown Prince's household."

"And you don't believe he deserves it?"

"I believe they should both be left in a sick house until they die." Robert shook his head, "But it's the price of getting rid of my troublesome nephew and saving Anna."

"How'd you get rid of Thomas?"

Robert shrugged, "I enlisted him to South Africa. He's coming with me when I leave to go fight the Boers."

"How very King David of you sir."

"I hope that's not judgment I hear in your voice Bates."

"Admiration." John sucked the inside of his cheek. "Now that your neice'll be in the care of the Crown Prince where does that leave me?"

"Since I don't trust to his care I'd say it makes your position even more important." Robert walked to John, putting a hand on his shoulder. "Will you continue to protect her? She'll have to appoint you specifically and then they'll be other hurdles to jump but I've enough clout left to keep you by her side where she'll need you."

"I'll serve as long as she needs me."

"She needs you more now than I when I hired you." Robert walked to the window, "How did it come to this Bates?"

"A vengeful goddess, sir."

Robert laughed, "Best explanation I've heard for it all day." He turned, pointing at John, "I'll take it."

"I'd best go to see to your niece sir."

"Yes," Robert blinked, bringing himself back to the present. "We'll need her fighting fit for what's ahead and it's your job to get her there."

"Yes sir." John left the room and took the stairs to Anna's room. His knuckles rapped at the door and Gwen answered, speaking softly.

"How can I help you Mr. Bates?"

"Might I have a moment with the Duchess?"

Gwen peeked over her shoulder before wincing. "I don't think she's in a state for that."

"I'll be quick and you can supervise the whole thing." Gwen shifted in place and John put a hand on hers, "Please Gwen. It'll help her."

Gwen nodded and opened the door for him to enter. John slipped into the room and padded over to where Anna had her head buried in the duvet. Her body lay diagonally across her bed and John knelt by her head.

Carefully taking her hand in his, he stroked over it until Anna raised her head enough to see him. "I thought I should come and see what I can do."

"You could've married me." Anna joked, trying to laugh but dissolving immediately into tears. John quickly dug a handkerchief from his pocket, dabbing it at her eyes. "I suppose you're here to tell me goodbye."

"Never." John covered her hand with his other. "I'm here to tell you that I'm still at your service."

"At my uncle's insistence?"

"That's the official reason." John leaned toward her, lowering his voice. "But we both know I'd walk through Hell if that's what it took for you to be safe."

"We won't be safe there John. It's a den of lions and thieves and liars."

"I know what it is but we'll manage it together."

"Are you sure?"

John kissed her knuckles, "As sure as anything."

"Can you watch me, from afar, and realize that I'm nesting with vipers because I thought outside myself?" Anna choked on her words, "Because of me Tom and Henry fled to America. I've ruined them and myself John."

"They knew the risk."

"But I knew it better and I should've stopped it." Anna shook her head, almost as it trying to throw off her past self with it. "I was arrogant and foolish. I wanted something I couldn't have because I couldn't be grateful for what I did have."

"We all make mistakes." John soothed, "I've done far worse in my time."

"As a world-wandering immortal?"

John nodded, "And as a capricious god."

Anna stopped, "Is that why this happened? Whomever did that to your leg decided to ruin this too?"

"I've no doubt the hand of an incredibly spiteful goddess was in this." John shrugged, "I knew better once too and I should've stopped it but I didn't either. Pride isn't a sin for just the mortal."

"But the immortal as well?"

John managed a half smile, "It tends to crush nations when we get prideful so I guess there's an element of gratitude that the only lives you ruined were those fully invested with you instead of innocents."

"There's always a bright side." Anna sat up, still holding John's hand. "There are times I wish you'd taken my offer and other times I can't begin to express my gratitude that despite it all you're still my friend."

"It's my pleasure to be so." John stood, "I'm here for you, Ms. Smith. I always will be."

"Thank you."

* * *

Anna held back her tears. Those around her would think it was her gratitude or awe at the spectacle. In reality she could not understand how none of them heard the crunching of her shattered soul mixing with the crushed hopes and dreams they trod on in their haste to wish her luck on her wedding.

The carriages pulling she and her uncle through the streets to celebrate the union. The cheering crowds of people only there for a faceless individual in a white dress that cost more than they could afford in a year to marry the Crown Prince they only knew from their money or the dirty stories they spread. Or even the gathered dignitaries and nobles and gentry hoping to wish enough good on them to earn themselves some good in return.

All of them drown out her sorrow with their joy. They buried her with their sycophantic aspirations. They suffocated her with their hidden agendas leering desperately behind their shining eyes.

So she sought different eyes. Behind it all, keeping his watch on her, Anna took the cold comfort from John's presence. When their eyes would meet he smiled or nodded or somehow recognized they shared a tiny moment for the mob swept them up again.

When she recited the vows she wished she could say them to him. When she accepted the marriage sacrament she caught his eye. And she closed her own when Alexander kissed her… all the better to imaging John's face instead. To remember that kiss in the library that felt a lifetime ago.

Because it was. That Anna was dead. And this Anna was doomed to a long life.


	15. Risen Birds

John kept his focus ahead, keeping pace with Anna and her guests while they walked the gardens at the palace. Occasionally his head went on revolve, keeping watch for anything out of the ordinary. The turned further into the garden topiaries and John pivoted to follow. He stopped short when he noted someone standing in his way but could only scowl at Vera.

"What do you want?"

"I see you ignored my threat."

"Ignoring it would suggest I did anything about it." John motioned a hand toward Anna. "As you can see, I have kept away from her and so should you."

"I never promised to leave her be." Vera taunted, "We're bonded after all."

"I'm well aware." John paused, "As per her duties, she had to consummate her marriage with the Crown Prince."

"Did they make you watch?"

"No but I know the Crown Prince is syphilitic."

"Nasty disease."

John rolled his eyes, "You should know, you started it."

"All I did was encourage the man's desire to be closer with his sheep." Vera shrugged a shoulder, "A mutated disease transmitted via sexual intercourse is rather… enflaming, wouldn't you say?"

"I should ask what you say about it." John let a small smirk rise on his lips. "You're the one who got it."

Vera paled, "How did you-"

"I may live the life of a mortal being with the mortals about me but I'm not mortal, Vera. A fact you forget more than you should." John stepped closer to her. "I know the bond you inflicted on Anna means you took the disease from her and its weakened you."

"The double-edged sword of this decision." Vera raised a finger to John's face, "But you and I both know that if I sever the bond with her she'll get it in full force."

"Which is why I don't mind your presence any longer." John bowed to her, "My deepest gratitude on your sacrifice and my humblest apologies for your suffering."

"You could not mean that less if you tried."

"I'm sure I could." John tipped his head to the side, "But I won't."

"Feeling enough glory in your position?"

"I'm protecting her."

"You're a voyeur on her life." Vera stalked Jon's steps, keeping in line with him as he maintained his pace with Anna's retinue. "You can't have her but you refuse to let her go."

"He marriage to the Crown Prince was her choice."

"You'd like to think so."

John shot Vera a look from the corner of his eyes, "Don't think me so naïve that I didn't know your handiwork when I saw it."

"I did appreciate the term 'vengeful goddess'. Made me think for a moment that you remembered who I was and what I could do."

"I remembered that you threatened Anna's life if I didn't separate you and the world if I did."

"And your response was for your love to marry another?"

"My response was to save her and help pass the potential affliction on to you." John faced Vera, "I warned you, I banished you once when I found her the first time and since I couldn't banish you this time I found a way to cripple you."

"Like I crippled you?"

John straightened, "When will you finally understand that I feel nothing for you. That we will never be anything more to one another than enemies? That we're better off alone in this world than bickering with one another to the detriment of continents?"

"You never did understand that Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned."

"I understand that you won't let me be happy while you're miserable." John shook his head, "What could I have done differently to have you leave me in peace?"

"Nothing."

"Then go back to burning the world down around you and see if that makes you happy." John tried to turn but Vera grabbed his shoulder, forcing him to face her.

"You don't get it, do you?"

"What?"

"That these aren't battle fought on battlefields anymore, John. These are battles we'll fight in individual hearts over men's very souls." Vera stabbed a finger toward Anna. "The battle over your soul isn't over yet and I intend to leave it shattered before I'm finished."

"To what purpose? You know I'll never come back to you because when you destroyed me before I simply left you anew."

"At this point it's not about you." Vera sneered, "It's about her and how I will take her from you for eternity if that's what it takes for me to leave you broken."

"As broken as you are?" Vera refused to answer and John nodded, "I understand it now. Thank you for explaining it to me."

"I said nothing."

"But I know you. As much as you rant and rail about knowing me so well you forget, I had millennia to study you as well." John looked her over before shaking his head, "Time and again you spurned what could've made you happy, what should've made you happy. Time and again you laughed in the face of the dreams I wanted, the work I wanted to do, and when I chose to change you refused. When I wanted happiness you scoffed. And now you can't stand that I moved beyond our creation."

"We're never beyond our creation John."

"I am." John lifted his hands, "I'm done with you. I'm finished trying to reason with you and I've no interest in saving you from yourself any longer."

"So you'll just leave me to destroy the world then?"

"Do what you like, Vera. I'm done with you." John gestured to the garden around them, "And soon the world will be too. We're relics of a past age. No one needs us anymore."

"They still pray to gods, John."

"But not gods like us." John walked away from her, taking the rear of the retinue as they entered the palace. He waited when Anna caught his eye. She dismissed the others before walking toward him.

"You seemed distracted in the gardens."

"I was."

"And bow?"

"You have my full attention, Your Royal Highness."

Anna snorted, "I'm still 'Your Grace' until the ceremony where they crown me as Princess."

"Then I'll address you as you deserve."

"I don't deserve any of this." Anna waved a hand at the palace around them. "This is far too extravagant for me. I'm not a Princess and I don't pretend to be."

"You'll always be a Queen to me and I'll never meet a finer one."

Anna narrowed her eyes, "There are times you confuse me, Mr. Bates."

"How's that?"

"You the most wonderful things to me, you compliment me, and you're always there to protect me and yet you acknowledge any kind of feelings for me."

"I'm not in a position to do so."

"If you were?"

"It's best not to encourage those kinds of thoughts, Your Grace." John tried to bow but Anna's hand pushed on his chest, forcing him up. "Is there something wrong, Your Grace?"

"I asked you a question."

"That I chose not to answer."

"Why not?"

"Why tread the path we could never trod?" John nodded at her hand, "You wear another man's ring, we live in his house, and you are now a symbol of his line."

"One that will never continue with him on the throne." Anna shook her head, "His younger brother'll inherit once he dies because we both know he'll never have children with me and his disease will kill him faster than time."

"Has he attempted to be with you again?"

Anna shook her head, "He accomplished his marital obligation to consummate the marriage and that was all. It took less than five minutes and then he went to his room."

"And you're alright?"

"Physically I'm very, very lucky I didn't gain his affliction."

"Otherwise?"

"It's difficult when you realize you spent your whole life dreaming that someone you loved would be the first to have you and, instead, you were left to the unskilled hands of a boy pretending to be a man." Anna sighed, "I felt nothing but pain and embarrassment."

"I'm sorry."

"I want," Anna reached for his hand but stopped herself. Her head turned to him and their eyes met. "I want to feel something different."

"That'd be quite inappropriate."

"Because I'm married and that means something special to anyone?"

"It means something to me."

"And it used to mean something to me as well." Anna hacked out a bitter laugh, "I think of how naïve I was to think one day I'd find someone who'd love me in marriage. Instead it's a contract of convenience and reputation, nothing more."

"It's much more. The bond a husband and wife share is sacred."

"Sacred? My _husband_ does not take that into account when he beds whomever he pleases and spreads his seed and his disease to whomever he deems fitter than myself." Anna set her jaw, "I don't think you realize, Mr. Bates, that the marriage I have is as much a farce as any you'll see at a comic opera or theatrical production."

"Your Grace-"

"Much like myself, it would seem." Anna gripped her hands, "The longer I entertain this conversation the more foolish I feel, excuse me."

She went to walk away but John reached for her hand. When they touched he tugged just enough to have her face him again. "I could never see you as anything but magnificent and radiant."

"There you go again," Anna's smile broke John's heart. "Saying the loveliest of things to me when you'll do nothing with them."

"And damage your reputation? The shame could kill you Ms. Smith."

"You can't kill someone who's already dead, Mr. Bates." Her hand slipped from his grip. "Good day to you."

John could only watch her take a step before he snatched her hand from the air. Before she could make a sound he pulled her into the room next to them and bolted the doors shut before pressing her against the door. Without a word of warning or permission he seized her mouth, immediately sucking the air from her lungs.

After a moment he pulled back, sucking deep breaths to try and calm his racing heart. Anna's breathing matched his, her much smaller chest pushing against her corset in an attempt to fill her compressed lungs. For a moment John contemplated helping her free her lungs by tugging the contraption from her but he already grossly overstepped his bounds.

"Ms. Smith I-"

Her hands gripped his neck, bending his head to hers again as she seized control of his lips, and immediately slanted her mouth over him to gain a better hold. With fingers digging into the skin of his neck, Anna lifted onto her tiptoes to press as much of her body as she could to his frame. John had a hand to the door behind them to hold steady and the motion leaned him over her to make an arch with the door. She formed the inside of the curve and he the outer as his hand squeezed her waist to keep her close to him.

Anna parted them, licking over her lips as she tried to catch her breath before looking at him. "Anna."

"What?"

"Here, at this moment, and any other moment we share like this one, I'm Anna." Her fingers loosened their death grip on his neck to slide down toward his face, palm warming his skin wherever she touched. "Can I be Anna?"

John turned his face, kissing her palm before he covered it with his own hand, and nodded. "You'll always be Anna to me."

"Then please, don't let me be alone anymore… John."

"What do you want me to do?"

"Tonight, after Gwen leaves, I want you to come to me." Anna put a finger on his lips before he could speak. "I don't keep any guards in the halls and I insist the servants all leave when I go to bed so no one will be around. And since Alexander insisted I live in the furthest apartment from his there's no worry about anyone noticing that my bodyguard is visiting me in the dead of night."

"It's never that simple."

"It is." Anna insisted, "Please don't tell me you just tempted me for a moment to tell me you think it's a bad idea."

"It's a terrible idea." John smiled at her, "But I can't leave you to your misery, no matter what I think."

"Don't tell me you're doing this out of pity."

"If anyone's to be pitied it's me." John played a strand of her hair in his fingers, "Because you're far too good for me and I'll never understand what you continue to see in me."

"Perhaps I see a good man who's been worn down by time but still continues to hope for the best despite his misery." Anna stopped herself saying something else, putting a hand on John's chest as a noise outside the room sent cold water down their spines.

The voices passed and John carefully drew the bolt back on the door. "You'd best go, before someone notices that our private conversation was a bit more than just talking."

"As a student of diplomacy I know that much is communicated nonverbally." Anna winked at him, "And I plan for there to be plenty of that later."

"Naughty."

"One can only hope." Anna slipped from the room and left John to watch her leave down the hall. Her head stayed high, her shoulders back, and at no point did she turn. The picture of decorum and respectability.

"She'll get you both into trouble. This is how it always starts."

John rested his head against the door, closing his eyes to steel himself before turning to speak to Vera as she leaned back against a table in the corner. "What would you know?"

"I've watched you and her since you started all this and I've got a better angle on it than you. Probably a matter of distance from the issue."

"Then continue to keep your distance."

"It's not me you need worry about this time." She clicked her tongue against her teeth. "Remember, I'm out of commission."

"But not out of my life."

"We're bound together, John. As much as you hate it and wish it weren't so we're the last of our kind and therefore we're bound to one another until the end of our days." Vera spluttered out a breath, "Whenever that may be."

"It'd be sooner for me if you didn't have to ruin things."

"And what if I don't want to be alone?"

"Neither do I."

"Then stay with me." Vera pleaded, stepping toward John while reaching for his hand but he backed out of her reach. "We could be happy again. I could change."

"But you won't. You never did." John threw up a hand, "No matter how many times you swore or wept or moaned about how I needed to give you one more chance you squandered it."

"Don't you believe in forgiveness?"

"I believe in not injecting myself with the same poison continuously under the belief it'll heal you." John put his hand on the door handle, "Just stay out of it Vera. I'm not asking for your blessing or for you to wish me well but just to leave me be. Let me be happy."

"I can't do that John."

"Then how could I ever stay with you?" John left the room, leaving his past as far behind as each step could carry him.

* * *

Anna wrung her hands, pacing her bedroom with careful steps. The slight knock at her door almost sounded like her imagination playing tricks on her. Then there he was, standing in her room as if waiting for her to invite him the rest of the way. As if her threshold must only be crossed by her bidding.

This was it. The moment when Anna could send him back, let sense take over and submit to his suggestions that her invitation was inappropriate. The time when Anna needed to remember the ring on her hand was not one he gave her but one from another man.

A man who may or may not be in his room at this hour. If he was, then he was in a fit brought on by a mind fractured and fraying due to a disease he caught from a prostitute. If not then he was with another prostitute. The ring on her finger was a sign of ownership, not love.

And when Anna removed it, dropping it to the dish on her small table before she crossed the room to entwine her naked hand in his, she put aside her doubts. Her good sense fled and there was only him. Only them, in her room, ready to risk it all so they could live even for a moment.

What a moment it was.

His hands knew their trade just as his lips set to their task with the utmost care. The soft waft of her dressing gown hitting the floor rang hollow in her ears as she fell to the onslaught of his lips on hers. When his tongue darted out, ostensibly to trace her lip, his fingers worked her nightgown free to leave her bare to the world. But the world could hang itself for all she cared as he lifted her from the floor and laid her on the bed like she was the most valuable thing he ever touched.

Touches that had her writhing over the sheets reciprocated in her frantic shedding of his clothing. Each piece hit the floor to the chorus of her breathing or keening or a whimper as he sought each minute point of pleasure. And when she could marvel in the low light at his form finally exposed to her Anna stopped.

It was almost as if she had seen this moment before. Lived it before. Her body shivered with the quiver in her fingers as she traced his face where he held himself over her. Not like Alexander had, all sweaty and groaning and eager, but calm and collected. This man, holding her reputation and emotions balanced against his own needs, seemed patient enough to wait a lifetime for what she knew she needed now.

"Have we been here before?" She stopped at his lips, her voice a whisper to shatter the silence between them that rang with their mingled breathing. "Has this happened before?"

"Once, a long time ago."

"I think I see it." Anna blinked, "It's like a memory I dug from a box. Something so familiar and yet far away. Is it that way for you?"

"No." John leaned toward her, their eyes locked on one another as his lips stopped just short of her own. "It was only a moment ago for me."

Anna closed the distance between them and her hands swept his sides to find the purchase she needed to bring him closer to her. He allowed her the reins to lead as she desired, responding to her cues when words failed her. She reveled in the control he handed to her, in how he submitted to her even while staying above her, in how he led her to discover pleasure within herself she never knew she possessed.

Eventually his hands risked their own path. They snaked over her body, sending her arching into his touch or shying away when he hit a sensitive patch. His lips and tongue soon had her twisted in more directions than her body could manage when he worked over her breasts with his mouth while his fingers risked gliding over her folds.

Anna's voice caught and John paused, the tips of his fingers playing at her center while his thumb rested right above where her nerves trembled. "Are you alright?"

"Yes."

"If you want me to-"

"No," Anna shook her head, forcing air into her stripped lungs before tilting enough to see him. "The extent of my experience may be vastly theoretical but I've only ever heard the horrors and endured it before. I want to feel the pleasure."

"Your wish is my command." John punctuated his statement with a particularly long, hard suck at her breast before pressing two fingers inside her.

Anna's head went back onto the bed, her eyes forced shut as her body struggled to comprehend the sensations coursing through her. Blood thundered in her ears while her entire body hummed in time to the stroke of his fingers inside her. And when he added his other hand in a massage over her body to join his mouth at her breasts she could not longer see.

The world spun until her body succumbed to the sensations. There was nothing more to be done but sink into the bright oblivion he offered and simply drown there. But she never felt more alive.

She heaved in deep breaths, forcing her eyes open to see John above her. Limp arms worked up his body, struggling to pull herself upright enough to kiss him, and eventually she found the strength to do so. He gave her all she desired and more until her turning him to his back broke their embrace.

Anna only laughed at the surprise on his face. "I want you up against the headboard."

"You can have me whichever way you want."

"Do you mean that?"

"I'll never lie to you and I never have."

"I know." Anna shifted enough to give him room to settle before perching on his thighs. "And I'm grateful but I want that to continue here as well."

"How'd you mean?"

"As I said, I only know what I've read and heard so you'll have to correct any misguided misconceptions and my woeful ignorance in these matters as time goes on."

"I'm sure you're a natural."

"I'm sure this only gets better with time and practice." Anna ran a finger down his chest, tracing the lines there. "And we've all the time in the world but I want you to teach me how to make this more fun for the both of us."

"Isn't it already fun?"

Anna grinned, kissing John quickly. "You're a frightful tease."

"I do try."

"As will I." Anna's hand slipped down to hold him in a light grip. He jerked toward her and she used her other hand to hold where his neck met his shoulder. "Tell me if I do it incorrectly."

"There's no way to do this incorrectly."

"But there are better ways to do it?"

John's hand wrapped over hers, guiding her motions until she tightened her hold on him at the hitch in his breathing, or scratched with her nails while kissing over his chest. Or eventually rose up on her knees to cry out when his own fingers took to running over her folds again.

He guided her hips to meet his and both moaned in unison when he seated fully inside her. Anna traced her kisses over his jaw as she rocked her hips against him and John's fingers tightened at her hip. Their lips met when Anna picked up speed and she thrust her tongue into his mouth when his other hand snuck between them to stimulate her center again.

With her cry John plunged deep, drove harder, and sent Anna spinning out of control. She barely comprehended his finish in the overwhelming aftermath of her own and they settled to the final jerks of his hips. They slipped over one another, the stuffy room doing them no favors as their bodies broke apart.

Anna fell back to her bed, a nervous laugh escaping her lungs before she turned to her side to see John's profile. "And you wanted to risk never experiencing that?"

'For you, I'd do anything." John snatched her hand, pressing his lips to every knuckle in turn. "I'd burn the world for you."

Anna kissed his shoulder before resting her head there. "Then be grateful that I only require your presence for the moment."

"I'm filled with nothing but gratitude about that." John wrapped an arm around her. "I want nothing and no one but you."

"Then you'll have me, Mr. Bates." Anna used his shoulder for leverage to kiss him, staring into his eyes. "You'll have me forever."

* * *

John checked over the trunks before nodding to the footman. They bent, lifting in unison, and carried them out to the carriages. He turned to Mr. Sampson and presented the list.

"I don't know why you're not the one checking over all of this."

"His Royal Highness insisted you ensure all was in readiness for their hunting trip to the North."

"It's just Northumberland, not the Arctic." John waved a hand at the gathered things. "They've enough here t survive a siege."

"It's a drafty old castle."

"Aren't they all?" John released the list into Mr. Sampson's hand. "Take care not to let anything go amiss while I see to the Princess and her staff."

"I'm sure you're seeing to her just fine."

John stopped, "I beg your pardon."

"I didn't say anything." John's eyes narrowed while the other man plied a broad smile that did not stretch to his eyes. "Don't you have something to do now?"

"Yes I do." John left him, choosing to drop the issue as he weaved through the preparations and toward Anna's apartments. Once there he knocked on her door, waiting for Gwen to open the door, and entered. "Princess."

"Mr. Bates." Anna finished pushing a pin her hair and met his eyes through the mirror. "Is all in readiness?"

"They've packed everything to your specifications."

"Not to yours?"

"I believe we're a caravan far too large for this trip, Your Royal Highness."

"I'm not entirely in disagreement with you, Mr. Bates." Anna stood, turning to Gwen. "Could you please see to it that my personal cases are in the carriage with me? I don't want them stored with the other luggage in the back of the train when we travel north."

"Yes Your Royal Highness." She curtsied and left them alone in Anna's room.

John pointed to the door, "Isn't this a bit risky?"

"The door's open." Anna pointed to it, taking her hat in hand and finding her handbag. "And we're discussing a security matter so there's nothing untoward about the two of us having a polite conversation."

"Mr. Sampson suggested we're not just having conversations."

"Mr. Sampson'll need more than his suspicions if he hopes to prove anything."

"I don't want a man like that to have suspicions."

"That's all he'll have." Anna put a hand to her stomach and John frowned. She waved him off, "It's just a bit upset. Something I think we ate at that dinner for the delegation from the Empire of Japan."

"Not something else?"

"What else could it be?"

John flexed his jaw before whispering, "The proof Mr. Sampson needs?"

Anna frowned a moment before her eyes widened. "You can't mean-"

"We've not been careful and I'm sure you're not in any way unable."

She put a hand to her mouth, taking a deep breath. "There's a way we can fix this. It's not the end of the world."

"How?"

"We've not engaged with one another long and it's still within believability that my husband impregnated me."

"Is it?"

"We were married two months ago Mr. Bates. And, if the rumors Gwen's investigated for me are true, then he's not without his endowments."

"But he's not me." John pointed to his face, "That child might bear resemblance to me."

"You're close enough that the mixture of the two of us could pass as Alexander's."

"Do you want to risk that?"

Anna drew herself to her full height, "I'd risk the world for it John."

"Then I'm at your command."

"Often." Anna teased, preceding him from the room.

Their trek to the north lulled Anna to doze in the train carriage and it took all of John's strength to hold Mr. Sampson's self-satisfied smirk instead of looking over at her. When they arrived he left it to Gwen to wake Anna and took over the instructions for the luggage and transportation to get them to the castle.

It sat on a hill, surrounded by trees and fields that kept the people at bay. John shivered, something about the trees sending a prickle to the back of his neck, and turned to Mr. Sampson. "I'll take stock of the perimeter while you ensure all the bags are unloaded."

"I'm valet to the Crown Prince."

"Then I'm sure you'll understand that I'm ensuring his safety, as well as that of the Princess, by making sure I can give clear instructions to the guards when they take to patrolling here." John pointed to the luggage. "I'm not asking you lift a finger, just make sure the bags get where they need to go."

John set off around the castle, walking the perimeter while marking possible locations in his head. A crack had him pivoting only to see Vera standing there. He straightened, "You can't stay away."

"We're a couple of bad pennies John."

"Just you."

"And it's not bad luck that you impregnated her?"

"It's a risk but not impossible."

Vera laughed, "What delusional space do you now occupy?"

"One called happiness. A place I offered you many times and you always refused."

"I'm not talking about that." Vera used her finger to push on John's forehead. "Use your brain and tell me how you'll mange this."

"The Crown Prince is dying."

"You and I both know he won't die in time. That child, if you do pass it off as his, will be Crown Prince. You'll never get to keep Anna if she has what's perceived as the child of the current Crown Prince. She'll be bound to him forever and you'll always be relegated to the shadows. Her pleasure in the bedroom but her secret in the ballroom."

"I can live with that."

"I don't think you can." Vera shook her head, "It'll poison you and break your heart."

"I thought you wanted that."

"I do… I just wish I'd thought of it." Vera stopped, the edge of her mouth curling up. "Although, I think you won't have to worry about that long."

John narrowed his eyes at her, the tingling prickle intensifying at the back of his neck. "What do you mean?"

"When was the last time you saw the Crown Prince?"

"A month ago, why?"

"A mind's a terrible thing to lose and I believe he just lost his."

John did not risk another word with Vera. Tearing back toward the castle he slipped and stumbled through the trees to reach the main road. It stretched before him forever as he tried to make the main gates.

Guards, servants, and soldiers stared at him but he ignored them all while navigating the castle for Anna. Terror and dread mixed in his stomach to lead him toward the faint sounds of sobs and painful groans. He slid to a stop outside the door to the main study where Gwen pulled fruitlessly at the latch and Mr. Sampson leaned against the far wall holding his nose.

"What happened?" John demanded, wrenching at Mr. Sampson's arm to force their faces close together. "What's going on?"

Mr. Sampson failed to respond before Gwen's fingers clutched at John's coat, yanking him toward the door. "He took her in there. He's delusional and raved about her being unfaithful and betraying him."

"What?" John turned to Mr. Sampson, leveling a finger at him. "If I find you had anything to do with this I'll kill you myself."

"All I told him was the truth." Mr. Sampson sniffed past the blood, trying to stem the tide with a handkerchief. "His syphilitic mind did the rest."

"What did you say?" Gwen raged, grabbing Mr. Sampson by the collar and throwing him back against the wall. "What did you accuse my lady of doing?"

"Of shagging him." Mr. Sampson pointed at John, trying to throw Gwen off as her fingers scrabbled for his throat.

"He'll kill her." Gwen threw Mr. Sampson back and pushed John toward the door. "You've got to save her Mr. Bates."

John tried the handle, holding there while his shoulder beat against it. The wood held firm, responding only to send pain back through his arm in jagged stabs. He fought past the pain, working to weaken the door joints as Anna's sobs and Alexander's ranting filtered toward them in the hallway.

As John went for another blow the sharp report of a gunshot rang out. The three in the corridor froze until another shot joined the first to echo over them. John stepped back, calling on his inherent ability, and broke through the door with a foot solidly planted near the lock.

Splinters exploded through the room and John immediately found Anna near the window. She held a hand over her abdomen, the blood trickling through her fingers there to spread a stain over her clothing. His eyes briefly caught sight of Alexander, the smoking gun just off his temple while the wall close to him dripped the evidence of his decision.

John held Anna, pressing his hand over her wound. "Just hold on. We'll find someone to help mend you."

"I may not be a physician but I know enough to know this isn't so easily repaired." Anna's hand shook in place, residual tremors shaking through her whole body. "He knew about you and I when I told him about the baby. I guess we weren't discreet enough."

"No," Jon shook his head, "Mr. Sampson told him. He wanted this to happen."

"I doubt Mr. Sampson wanted Alexander to blow his own brains over the other wall." She wheezed, her breath rattling in the cavity of her chest. "Or for me to bleed out here."

"I can heal you." John pressed a hand to her, "There's time and I could-"

"I can see light tingeing the edges of my vision John." She whispered, "I'd like you to stay still so the last thing I see before it all dissolves is your face. Please."

"Of course." His vision blurred and tears worked to rain down his face while he traced over hers to memorize it all over again. "It wasn't supposed to be like this."

Anna tried to laugh but her voice caught, snaring on the pain taking over her body. "It's not the end, Mr. Bates. It can't be."

"It feels that way."

"Then have more faith." She chided, "I'm coming back to you. You said I did it before. I could do it again."

"No," John shook his head, "I'll sever your ties to this. You'll be free to go where you will. You don't have to come back."

"You don't understand. I don't want to leave you."

"You should. You should go on."

"Weren't you the one who told me that you can only leave the cycle if you're free?" Anna shook her head. "I'm not free of you Mr. Bates so I can't leave."

"I'm not worth it."

"You are to me." She risked another rattling breath, "I'll find you again because I refuse to lose you a third time."

John buried his head next to hers, crying there as her free hand pressed to his cheek. He kissed her cheek before whispering in her ear, "I failed you."

"You loved me John," It was barely a breath near his ear. "Like you did before."

John pulled back, shock taking over his tear-stained face a moment. "What?"

"I remember. I remember the brave general from so long ago." Anna's fingers barely skimmed over his skin. "I won't lose you again John."

"Anna." He sobbed as he head fell back over his arm.

After a moment he laid her body down, standing with the blood all over his clothing and the woman he loved lying at his feet. John sniffed, wiping at his eyes, and noted Vera standing there. "Sever yourself and leave me be."

"John-"

"Do it now or I do it for you." He seethed through his teeth.

Vera hurried to do it, drawing back like a cowed children afraid of suffering the strap. "It's done."

"Not leave me forever and I'll seek no retribution or revenge." John pointed to the window, "We're finished Vera. Now and forever. We walk the world alone and may you pray we never meet again. Should we happen upon one another I'll walk to the other side of the street because I don't know you. This is where we end for the rest of however long we're cursed to walk this earth. Do you understand?"

"John, you can't mean that."

"But I do, Vera." John knelt down by Anna's body, stroking over her hair a moment. "I've known love and I won't settle for anything less."

"What about me?"

"I'd suggest you find it but I don't think the shriveled husk that pumps your blood is capable of it." John shrugged, "But stranger things have happened."

"John-"

"No, Vera." John pointed to Anna, eyes holding Vera's. "She's the only person I seek for the rest of my life and if you try to ruin this for me again I'll end you forever."

"You wouldn't."

"I would." John stood, closing the distance between the two of them until his nose was practically on hers. "I vow it on her soul."

"Then may it never find yours again." Vera spat at him. "Burn in hell John Bates."

"I already have."


	16. Part III: Towers of Modernity

Even for a being who claims immortality, time can run so slowly. Each moment dragging for an eternity while the decades fall away like dust blown from a flat surface. But with each passing minute the ache grows ever sharper, the despair ever deeper, and the tears ever nearer.

His only consolation was that this time he did not have to endure centuries without her. Only decades. But each was a lifetime.

Time is a curious thing to the timeless. The world gawked and marveled at the advancements while he only waited for them to realize their discoveries had been made before. Each invention, each creation, just a hollow reminder of times he endured without her. Each new thing a painfully familiar echo of what he knew with her.

Every circuit of the world yielded the same results. His experiences and qualifications lead him to battlefields and killing ranges but also the salvation of souls. It was not like the last interminable period without her, where he lost part of himself to the vengeance and anger that burned his blood.

This time she guided him. The memory of the child they almost shared guided him. The voices they used to call him from the void held him in their care when darkness crept toward him. They kept him safe where he failed to do the same to him.

But they held only love for him, not recriminations.

It was one day, when men in their garages determined to create machines to make information and communication available to the world, that he saw her. Too many times he imagined blonde nymphs crossing a street were her, but this time his heart agreed with his eyes. Their eyes met for a second and she smiled.

A smile that broke his heart and remade it in the same second.

He followed her to a hospital, watching her as she treated and cared for the children there. Watched as she leaned over a counter to kiss another doctor. His blood boiled at that before chilling when he saw her prepared for an examination of her own.

John watched her receive the news from the same doctor, clenching his fist at the sight of the man laying his hand over hers. But then accepted a call from his friend. The offer extended again to him, the offer he could never refuse, and John accepted without a second thought.

He met with Robert, shaking hands with the man he served with on a battlefield that had less detail to it than the way he could draw her face in his mind. Robert, always her uncle and usually his friend, held his hands open to John. "I'll be straight, I don't like her boyfriend and I think she needs someone watching out for her."

"I'm a journalist now, Robert. I don't know how qualified I am."

"Enough for me to trust you can care for my niece." Robert pushed the paper toward John. "Will you help me again?"

John smiled, knowing Robert could not attempt to grasp the full weight of his words. "I'd be my pleasure."


	17. Mutagenesis

She stared out the window and watched the rain streaking the panes. Shaking her head and turning away from her inspection of changing lights and cars speeding by below her, she faced the opening door. The distinctive creak in the floor boards there had her smiling as a dark-haired woman entered the room with a tray in her hands.

"You know I'm never hungry after my treatments Mary."

"And you know I won't stop trying to force food down your throat." Mary set the tray on a table and joined the other woman on the window seat before knocking the glass with a knuckle. "You're going to drive yourself mad just watching those lights change."

"I'm already mad."

"For agreeing to marry Green?" Mary gagged, sticking out her tongue as if trying to get rid of a bad taste. "Don't I know it."

"He loves me, Mary."

"He's a tosser, Anna, and he's also making his rounds with the intern staff if you know what I mean."

"Sadly I do." Anna gave Mary her hand, "Help me up then and I'll at least smell whatever it is you brought me today."

"Soup. That way you're body can just vomit it up easier than solid food."

"How considerate but it doesn't really work that way."

"We can't all be doctors." Mary pulled a chair out, helping Anna sit. "My father was satisfied I graduated at all."

"I think he was more impressed you roped Matthew to marry you."

"He really was." Mary pulled the cover off the soup and put a spoon in Anna's hand. "But I just keep saying I saw this coming and married in a hurry so you were my maid of honor."

"I thought you married in a hurry because Matthew got you pregnant."

"That's neither here nor there at this point." Mary took the seat opposite Anna, pulling a matching bowl toward herself. "To family?"

"As long as you're my family I'm alright with it." Anna smiled at her, dipping her spoon into the soup and risking a sip. "How is my nephew?"

"He's keeping us up at night. Teething and all that."

"Did you freeze the gum ring I gave you? It'll help numb the area and reduce swelling."

"We do use it and it works some of the time but then he'll wake up in the middle of the night screaming bloody murder about it and Matthew's already working himself to the bone at his firm." Mary sighed, "I'm sorry, you've got other things to worry about than this."

"Not really." Anna took another small sip, spending more energy inhaling the scent of the soup than actually drinking it. "The hospital's giving me some time since they don't want me getting worse with my weakened immune system."

"What's it feel like to be your own test subject?"

"Makes me regret not going into oncology."

"You don't regret it."

"Don't I?"

Mary snorted, "You knew you wanted to be a pediatrician from the time you were nine. I still remember you taking all of our dolls, lining them up, and visiting with each one individually to discuss their symptoms in detail. You gave out lollys and plasters and then wrote up reports for them."

"I can't believe you remember that."

"It's hard to forget when your cousin's neurotic."

Anna flicked a bit of soup at Mary. "How's your father?"

"Dealing with some journalist."

"What about?"

"No idea." Mary sucked some soup off her spoon. "Been meeting with the bloke all day though. And I think he's considering a new head of security for the house."

"Why?"

"I think Mr. Carson wanted to retire now that his wife's arthritis has gotten worse. He told me he felt he was needed at home."

"Good for him." Anna set her spoon down. "I don't know why we even need a security chief here. There's nothing but a mostly empty house now that you and Matthew moved out and your sisters are long gone."

"You're still here."

"I need a nursemaid, not a security guard." Anna shivered, pushing her chair back to grab a loose blanket from the bed and wrap herself in it. "I'm actually thinking about selling the place."

"Why?"

"It's a fortune to heat so I'm always cold."

Mary sobered, "Isn't that just the treatment?"

"It's only made it worse." Anna walked back to the window, looking out a moment before turning back to Mary. "Could I meet the new guy? I don't want to run into him like a stranger in my own house."

"You mean before you decide to fire him and sell the place?"

"If I do either of those things it'd be nice to inform the person now living in the house with me they need to seek other accommodations."

"True." Mary finished her soup, frowning at Anna's before pointing to it.

"Don't use your Mum-Glare on me. I'm not a child."

"Thank goodness you're not my child." Mary jumped slightly before reaching into a back pocket and sighing at her pager. "Matthew needs me to get home. George's fussy and he's got to get to work."

"Go on," Anna waved her off. "I'm an invalid but I'm not totally useless yet."

"What yet?" Mary teased before hugging Anna. "Call me if you need anything at all. Promise."

"I wouldn't dream of it." Anna pushed her toward the door. "Go save your husband yes?"

Anna waited until Mary left the room to press the button near her bed. A mousy girl with brown hair appeared, staring at the floor between furtive glances in Anna's direction. "You called Ms. Smith."

"I did. Could you clear away the plates and then let my uncle know I'd like to meet the new security chief?"

"They're just taking a tour of the house now, Ms. Smith. If you hurry you could catch them."

"Thank you Daisy." Anna wrapped the blanket firmly about herself, "We'll see how fast I go with this yeah?"

She made her way down the grand staircase, stopping at the bottom to catch her breath before listening. Echoing voices came from the main sitting room and Anna worked her bare feet silently over the floors toward the doors. Drawing them back she smiled at the two men standing in the middle of the room.

"I do apologize for interrupting, Uncle Robert, please continue." Anna walked toward them as both stood in a hurry. "I just wanted to meet the new security chief."

"Anna this is Mr. Bates." The gray-haired man pointed to the other. "He's going to take a long, hard look at our system here."

"Not sure that's strictly necessary but we're grateful all the same." Anna extended her hand and Mr. Bates took it after resting a cane on his left arm. "I'm Anna Smith, chief invalid here."

"John Bates, ma'am."

"Oh," Anna waved a hand at him before taking a seat in a stuffy armchair where she curled her feet up to cover her whole body with the blanket. "I'm not close to being a 'ma'am' yet."

"My apologies."

"it's just misdirected politeness, that's all." Anna settled back in the chair, "I do hope you enjoyed your tour of the house."

"It was lovely."

"It's a little ostentatiously grand." Anna watched his reaction, "Though we've a lovely library that we've been building up for a few generations."

"A worthy endeavor to be commended."

"Do you read much, Mr. Bates?"

"When I can. I used to work in journalism and I've always loved something to keep my interested. Sometimes there's nothing more gripping than the written word on a page."

"I honestly couldn't agree more."

"Do you do a lot of reading?"

"As often as I can." Anna sighed, "The one benefit of this recent diagnosis is that I've a lot more time than I used to. Now I read more than I have since before University."

"And what is it that you did before your illness?"

"Pediatrician."

"She's being modest," Robert put a hand over Anna's, positively glowing as he looked at her. "She was a pediatric surgeon specializing in cardiovascular care."

"You make it sound like I was the only one."

"Children are special, Dr. Smith," Mr. Bates interjected, "And you're handling their hopes and dreams as you care for their hearts. I find that something about which anyone would have great reason to be proud."

"It did give me a chance to read a great many children's stories."

"Those are some of my favorites?"

"For the pictures?"

"For the messages. There's nothing quite as succinct as a children's story." Mr. Bates paused, "Though the artwork is often rather beautiful."

"I loved that. Most of the children did too." Anna yawned, hurrying to cover her mouth. "I do apologize, I'm being a terrible hostess."

"I believe there's excuse to be made for that."

"It's almost three in the afternoon and I'm already ready for another nap." Anna admitted, almost regretting it because of the look of pain that crossed Robert's features.

"She sleeps a lot lately. Her condition doesn't leave her with much in the way of energy given all her treatments lately."

"I suspected." Mr. Bates focused on Anna but continued talking to Robert. "Would it be an imposition to ask for a few minutes with Ms. Smith alone? I think we'd best get to know one another well if I'm to be watching over her."

"Of course. I've business I need to mange before my son-in-law comes in herein a panic wondering if he'll have to do it all himself." Robert gave Anna a kiss on the cheek and shook Mr. Bates's hand. "Thank you for taking the position John."

"My pleasure."

Anna waited until she heard Robert leave through the door behind her before speaking. "As grateful as I am to my uncle for offering you this position I do feel inclined to tell you it might not exist for much longer."

"Because of your condition?"

"Because I'm thinking of selling this house."

Mr. Bates frowned, confused. "Isn't it your uncle's house?"

"No, it's mine." Anna waved a hand at it. "The place is mine since my parents died. Uncle Robert and his family moved in since I was nine when they passed but they've all since moved on to their own lives. I don't need it since I've only me to manage now and the cost of running it will wipe out my inheritance before I can use it on things I don't need."

"So you'd sell it?"

"Or donate it to become a library or a school or something. I'm not picky about how I get rid of it because I want it used and appreciated I just don't need a castle."

"Completely understandable."

"Which is why I won't need a security chief if I take a flat in the city." Anna paused, "Or if my body only needs a pine box."

"I guess it's the kind of situation that calls for that kind of thinking."

"You agree?"

"I was in the RAF, Ms. Smith, as an SAS officer. We planned for the those kinds of eventualities all the time."

Anna nodded, "Your uniform still fit?"

"It's a bit saggy since I dropped weight in my current job."

"Usually it's the other way around."

Mr. Bates laughed, "It is but I traveled as a journalist. I took assignments in places where they don't eat as heartily as one might at a family dinner."

"I don't eat much anymore either."

"Loss of appetite is a common side effect of your treatments."

Anna nodded, "It's one of the more depressing ones since I so enjoyed food. A good meal and a warm bed are two cures for all ills."

"I thought the phrase was 'a good laugh and a long night's sleep are the two best cures for anything'."

"Is it?"

He shrugged, "I'm Irish and it's a proverb I prefer."

"Like you prefer this job to being a journalist?"

"This was a special request."

"From my uncle?" Mr. Bates nodded and Anna sucked the inside of her cheek, "I think he wants to believe he's protecting me when he's really not able."

"I couldn't see him chasing you down anywhere if you got rowdy."

Anna laughed, "He never had to chase me. I was always sickeningly well behaved. It was Mary who gave him all his gray hair." She paused, "Why'd you become a journalist then?"

"I was tired of doing things I didn't like and protecting people who probably deserved what they should've gotten from dangerous people." Mr. Bates shrugged, "I thought I could do more for the world by exposing truths people didn't want to hear."

"You should've been a doctor then."

"I could never survive in your field, Ms. Smith."

"Anna."

He blinked, "I'm sorry."

"Anna." She insisted, "We're going to be engaged on a rather intimate level with you in control of the cameras in the house so I think we should know one another a little more personally."

"That's not usually the nature of this business, Ms. Smith."

"You don't want us to be familiar?"

"I'd rather be familiar with the potential threats against you."

Anna waved a hand, "Then you're in luck because the only serious threat against me is seen through a microscope once plated on a slide or with a very expensive piece of equipment." She sighed, "I don't think even your expertise will give you the tools you need to fight what's ailing me."

"Probably not but I can stop any outside threats." He shifted forward, leaning toward her, "I'm here to provide the best level of service I can for as long as you need me."

"Then you'll be more nurse than bodyguard I'm afraid."

"I've had experience with both."

"Then please, call me Anna." She held out her hand to him, "I don't want someone who might be holding my hair back as I vomit in a toilet still acting like I'm above them."

"Sickness is a great equalizer." He took her hand, "You're the boss Ms. Anna."

She opened her mouth to complain before cracking into a smile. "Are you always this charming?"

"Most days."

"I like that. Makes me feel better already." She used his hand to stand and he hurried to offer her support. "Would you please escort me back to my room. I'm feeling very tired all the sudden."

"I'm at your service."

She looked into his eyes, a smile taking over her face. "I'm glad you are."


	18. Atrophy

John walked the dark house, noting the cameras, their angles, and the timed revolve for the few that followed that subroutine. He glanced down at his watch a moment and looked up in time to avoid running right into Anna. Putting his arms out he caught her before she fell and waited until she found her feet again.

"I'm so sorry Ms. Anna. I wasn't paying attention like I should've."

She laughed, "Are you telling me, Mr. Bates, that my security chief wasn't paying attention?"

"It does sound bad when you put it like that." John pointed up at the cameras. "Those are expertly placed."

"Uncle Robert's always afraid of people breaking in to steal things." Anna shivered, "Sorry, I forgot my blanket and I didn't think it'd be this cold."

"Here," John shrugged out of his jacket, handing it to her so she could put it over her small shoulders. "I'm more than warm in this house."

"But now you look so normal." Anna put a hand on his shirt. "How will I ever take you seriously?"

"I rather hope you don't since you won't be keeping me long." John swallowed, coughing back the tears that edged his eyes. "Have you decided on a new place?"

"I've found a few flats near the hospital, for convenience."

"For treatment?"

Anna nodded, "And my job, when they let me go back to it."

John leaned back, looking down the hallway before smiling, "Are you hungry because I'm a little famished."

"I could go for something small I think."

"Then may I escort you to the kitchen?" John offered her his arm and Anna's frail hand looped through it. "I only got a peek at it yesterday and realized there's more space and food in there than I thought possible for the size of household you have."

"I rent out the space to a cooking school a friend of Uncle Robert runs."

"Cooking school?"

"Haven't you heard of Mrs. Patmore's Cravings and Creations?"

"I think I saw the advert on a lorry once."

Anna shrugged, "She and her apprentice run the place."

"Is he the tall, gangly one on all the morning shows?"

"Alfred, yes." Anna's steps shortened his so they could descend the stairs as slowly as she needed. "He's a good man and so skilled. One of the great regrets of my aggressive treatment is that I've no stomach any more and now all I can do is remember how great his food was."

John opened his mouth, licking his lips before he spoke. "May I ask what you have? You mentioned this morning that I'd only be able to help if I could fight something you'd have to plate on a microscope slide but that only tells me it's rather serious."

"It's stage four cancer."

"Of what?"

"They found it in my lungs first and now they're saying its spread to my liver." Anna stopped at the bottom of the stairs, trying to catch her breath. "I'm sorry, I used to run all over this house and now I can barely walk a foot before I'm wheezing."

"I'm in no hurry."

Anna regulated her breathing before speaking again. "Everything now is to try and stop it reaching my lymphatic system. After that I'll just be buying a plot and a box really."

"You're rather chipper about the prospect."

"Death is something I learned to accept very young, Mr. Bates." Anna closed her eyes, taking a deep breath before pointing forward, "Kitchen's that way."

"Is that what's keeping you up so late?"

"No, my muscles were in spasm and the only want to get rid of it is to walk it out." Anna laughed, "I used to walk kilometers a day running after kids or rushing to surgery or preparing for meeting and now I can't even walk from my door to my bed without stopping because everything hurts."

"Have you thought about a lift or a chair?"

"Or a walker?" Anna shook her head, "I may know that Death is coming for me but I'm against crawling to it like a soldier in surrender. I don't like being confined anywhere by anything so I'll refuse everything they offer until forced by a doctor."

John chuckled to the side, "They do say doctors make the worst patients."

"Don't they just." They reached the top of the stairs to the kitchen and Anna balked. "I may've overestimated my abilities."

"Nonsense." John lifted her easily into his arms, holding her so her arms wrapped his neck and his arms went at her lower back and under her knees. "You're no more than a feather."

Once in the kitchen John settled Anna on a stool and went to the refrigerator. He whistled when he opened it, admiring the spreads inside. "And you can eat any of this?"

"Used to eat any of it." Anna leaned on the counter, "Mrs. Patmore does make me a plethora of soups that I manage sometimes."

John turned to a cupboard and opened it only to let his jaw drop a bit. He pointed to the medicine bottles there and looked over his shoulder at her. "Are all these for you?"

"I'm only taking about half of them nowadays." Anna gestured to a few of them, "Those near the back I'm off now but I don't have a way to get rid of them as yet so they're just taking up space there."

He picked one up, turning it in his hand, "All prescribed by Doctor Alex Green?"

"My oncologist."

"Is he any good?" John put the bottles back, returning his focus to the fridge. "As a doctor, I mean."

Anna smiled at him, "Why? What else could I say about his abilities?"

"Your uncle intimated that you two were rather close."

"He is my boyfriend and he's not bad… at either actually."

"But he still can't cure you?"

Anna shrugged, "Some things can't be cured. Life is terminal and no one's getting out of it alive."

"But you deserve the chance to live your life."

"Who says how long anyone's life should be?"

"If it were up to me then everyone with a kind heart would have a long life and all those with nothing but poison in their veins would die very quickly."

"Life's not fair like that." Anna pointed to something in the fridge, "I might go for a bit of that."

John pulled out the cheese platter and Anna nodded. He placed it on the counter between them, opening the lid to investigate the options. "All this is Mrs. Patmore's?"

"Yes it is." Anna pulled a piece loose, nibbling on the edge. "And I wonder if you'll answer a question for me."

"Anything."

"When you said people with poison in their veins it sounded rather personal."

"That's not a question."

Anna giggled, "No, the question is whether you had someone specific in mind when you said that."

"An old flame. We parted on extraordinarily bad terms and she's never gotten over it. Sabotaged every relationship I've ever tried to have since."

"That vengeful?"

"That angry." John shrugged a shoulder, wrapping a piece of cheese around a bit of salami and some bread. "But she's off doing her own thing now and good luck to her."

"That's oddly forgiving."

"I've had a long time to think over the worthless nature of holding a grudge." John chewed a moment before turning back to the cupboards, "Fancy an egg sandwich."

"Not sure I could stomach it but I'm willing to try if you cook."

"I've dabbled in it on occasion. Not to the level of Mrs. Patmore but I can rub two sticks together, as it were."

"I'm impressed more by the minute Mr. Bates."

"Thank you." He bowed to her before finding a frying pan and setting it on the stove. "Gas?"

"She's old fashioned."

"Woman after my own heart."

"I could set you up if you like." Anna teased and John raised a finger.

"Nice as it would be to cook with or for a woman of her skill I don't think we'd be compatible."

"Why?"

"I'm too nice for her. I'd crumbled under a Gordon Ramsay."

"She's more of a Mary Berry."

"Either or." John started the stove and pulled the supplies from the fridge. "I don't want to have to put on a show for anyone."

"And right now isn't a show?"

"I wouldn't call it that."

"What would you call it?"

"A demonstration."

Anna frowned, "Aren't they synonymous?"

"No, as any student of Chinese could tell you."

"You speak Chinese?"

John shrugged, "I've traveled a bit and you pick up a thing or two."

"Did any of your loves travel with you?"

He stopped, egg about to crack on the side of the pan. "No. We never had the chance."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. We were happy in the times we had together and I couldn't take back any of it."

Anna put down her half-eaten piece of cheese. "Any kids?"

"Almost once." John turned to the counter, taking bread out of the bag. "There were complications and both died."

"That's probably the saddest thing I've ever heard."

"Sadder than not having enough time to tap into your expansive trust fund and go wild before you go?"

Anna lifted a hand, "I never was one for that kind of thing. I'm a simple person with simple desires."

"Like choosing to take your money and get an education so you can help children?"

"Like that." Anna smiled, "They're bundles of joy really and I had the chance to work with them everyday."

"See," John wagged a finger at her, "That's the sound of someone convinced they picked something because it was the only way to get what they wanted."

Anna nodded, "I had endometriosis when I was younger and it quickly went south. At first they thought the probability would just be low but when they had to perform a total hysterectomy that was the end of it."

"Then the kids?"

"They're the only ones I'd ever had." She took a deep breath, "I thought, for awhile, that Alex and I could adopt when we got married but then he never seemed too interested in actually proposing so that ended."

"But you still date him?"

"I'm dying, Mr. Bates. Why not live with the fun I can have before I go?"

"You're far too rational for the money you have." John finished the sandwiches and placed one before her. "It's almost a crime."

"Too bad you're only a security guard then." Anna risked a bite and John smiled at her expression.

"Eat what you can."

"I'll probably just vomit it up in an hour."

"But you would've enjoyed it for now."

"What a perspective."

John winked, "It's what I do."

They finished in silence, John cleaning up and walking around the counter to escort her back up the stairs. At the top she leaned against him and John held his arms open. At her nod he lifted her up and ascended the stairs to her room.

"Might I ask an impertinent question?"

"Is it morbid?"

"Potentially."

"Then please say it." Anna rested her head on his shoulder. "I'm a fan of Mr. Pratchett and I prefer the morbid humor."

"Good." John shifted her slightly to open the door to her room and then took her to her bed. "Since you're already preparing for your death could you tell me what you plan to do with your exorbitant amount of money?"

"I'm leaving the house to be used as a recovery home for children and my money to keep it running. After my cousins and uncle get their shares of it."

"Always thinking of others?" John offered her his arm as she adjusted under the covers of her bed.

"I've got nothing else to think of, Mr. Bates." Anna settled back on her pillows, "The only things that matter are those things we do for others."

"Very wise, Ms. Anna."

"I got it from a movie." Anna took a deep breath, "I'll see you in the morning then?"

"I'm here as long as you need me."


	19. All Things Change

John rubbed a hand over his face and stretched out in his chair. He eyed the monitors again and then stood, "William, could you make sure Mrs. Patmore's students don't park on the lawn again and ruin all the flowers?"

"On it Mr. Bates." William hurried out of the office and John caught sight of something on one of the cameras.

Smiling to himself he left the room and out into the gardens. Pausing at the top of the gardens he smiled, jogging down the stone steps to where Anna had her head tipped back with her eyes closed as she leaned back on the bench. He stopped next to her and she cracked an eyelid to see him, "See something you like Mr. Bates?"

"I see someone enjoying the sunshine."

"Is that a problem?"

"No," He shook his head and pointed to the seat on the bench next to her. "May I join you?"

"By all means." Anna shifted enough to allow him space next to her. "What brings you out here?"

"Mostly just seeing that you're feeling better after your treatment the other day."

Anna took a deep breath, "It's about like normal but I did manage some of Mrs. Patmore's wonderful bread this morning and that felt like a piece of me returned."

"That's good news." John settled next to her, "Though I'm wondering why you're not inside resting."

"I prefer the out of doors." She held up a book, "Read it?"

" _Wuthering Heights_?" John shook his head, "I think I might've in school a long time ago but I don't remember."

"It's a good one. I come back to it from time to time when I'm looking for something to refocus."

"Most people turn to religion for that."

"I can't claim I'm very religious. I go to church but I haven't really done anything to keep that connection alive since I started residency."

"Hospitals don't give much time off for that?"

"I've spent a few hours in the hospital chapels but I think that's the closest to God I've been."

John laughed, "I think there are a great many places holier than the edifices we build for worship."

"That's very enlightened."

"I've visited a lot of places where I felt closer to God than in some churches I've attended." John squinted into the distance, "I guess those moments are the ones where we need to tell ourselves that there is a God."

"Do you believe in God, Mr. Bates?"

"I'd like to." John sighed, "In my experience there aren't many benevolent, all-seeing gods and I'd like there to be one."

"So the good live and those with poison in their veins die swiftly?"

"Well," John shrugged a shoulder, "In this case just so the good live."

"And what would you do, if such a God existed?"

"I'd pray a lot more."

"Are you hoping to spare a few prayers for me to whomever that is?"

"I'd like to."

Anna nodded, "I think God hears our prayers but we don't always get them answered the way we want."

"Not a vending machine God then."

"No, not a vending machine God." Anna agreed, "But I don't think He's vengeful either. He's not all smiting and destroying."

"But He'd take you life from you?"

"It's His life to take since He gave it to me."

"You're very free with the giving of your life."

"I'm a doctor, Mr. Bates. It's my profession and my livelihood to give all I can to others. My life is mine to give and I gave it."

"Very well I'd assume since you seem to approach death with very little fear."

"What's there to fear, Mr. Bates?" Anna pointed toward the sky, "If the Bible's correct then the good go to Heaven to dwell with God. If He's counting my good works like we count cricket scores then I'm sure it'll all even itself out. If it's some other measure… I'll assume I haven't done anything worthy of Hell so I'm not really worried about the afterlife."

John laughed, "You've got it all figured haven't you?"

"When one faces the inevitable decline of their body they must decide what they'll do with their soul."

"What do you want done with your soul?"

Anna did not respond immediately, taking time to carefully pluck her words from the sky. "I'd like it to go where love would find me."

"Love?" John frowned, "I thought you had a boyfriend."

"Those two tings are not mutually inclusive."

"Then why date him?"

Anna shrugged, "Ease I suppose. We both worked at the hospital and since we saw each other all the time we'd make a date out of visiting the canteen for coffee or tea until we decided it was the best way to date. We never had time for anyone else or anything else and it was convenient."

"Is it still convenient?"

"Not now that he's my overseeing oncologist."

"Isn't that unethical?"

"He's the best and the hospital staff chose to overlook it since they wanted to keep us both on." Anna adjusted forward on her seat. "He's given me the very best care and, in a way, that's almost love."

"But not the kind of love that leaves you satisfied since you're convinced your soul needs to go where it will find love."

"We settle for the love we think we deserve, Mr. Bates." Anna stood, "Now I think I should get some work done."

"At the hospital?" John hurried to stand as well.

"No, they won't let me near the children when I could give them something or get too sick myself." Anna smiled down at him, "I do research from here. It's part of the hospital's efforts to try and expand their treatment options. I specialize in pediatric research for children's cancers and heart diseases."

"I guess there's a kind of irony to that."

"You mean because I'm dying o cancer and they're afraid to have me near the children while I'm dying of the exact thing I'm studying?" Anna gave a little laugh, "We're all the universe just studying ourselves in the end, Mr. Bates. If what I discover can extend the life of another for even a short time I'll take it."

"You are an angel pretending to be a human, Ms. Anna."

"And you act more like my confidant and friend than security chief."

"Your security is not just about keeping a watch over the house and grounds or making sure all the doors are locked." John kept pace with her up the stairs back toward the house. "It's also about making sure you're well."

"As well as I can be given the circumstances I'd wager."

"As you've instructed me these last few days, we're supposed to give our all in whatever capacity we can." John offered her his hand for the last stairs and she leaned on him more the closer to the house they got. "If I can do anything for you I will."

"Then can you take me into the city later? There's a flat I'm keen on and I need to see it before I commit to the lease."

"I hope it's a monthly renewal."

"I wouldn't commit to anything longer than that." Anna closed her eyes, trying to regulate her breathing, "Could you take me to the sitting room? I'm feeling a bit more exhausted than I expected."

"Certainly." John helped her onto the sofa and Anna pulled her feet up. "Can I get you anything else Ms. Anna?"

"Just wake me in an hour. I need to rest for a bit and then I'll take lunch."

"I'll make sure William and Daisy know." John went to leave the sitting room but Anna called out to him. "Yes?"

"Can I call you 'John', Mr. Bates? Given the amount of syllables I think we could save time and I think we're a little closer than surnames now."

"You're welcome to call me whatever you want, Ms. Anna."

"Thank you John."

He closed the door to the sitting room and sighed before turning toward the kitchen. Within a pace he stopped, a small noise drawing his attention. John turned to see Vera taking a turn in the middle of the room.

"I thought we parted badly enough last time."

"I'm to here for you but her." Vera pointed at the sitting room and John immediately bristled but she held up her hand to stop him. "Not like last time."

"How else could you possibly mean Vera?"

"She's dying already. What use am I to ruining your happiness anymore when you've decided to make yourself a martyr and nurse her into the grave?"

"Come here to gloat then?"

"No," Vera stopped, taking a moment to gather herself. "What I mean is her death isn't necessarily a necessity."

"We're any things but not even we've got powers to stop what's ailing her."

"Not if its natural." Vera pointed at the room, "What she has isn't at all natural."

"Isn't it?"

"No." Vera frowned, "Can't you tell?"

"I wasn't the expert in poisons that you were."

"Now's not the time to dredge up the past, John. We've lived too much of it we'll be here all day reciting our sins."

"Then why come?"

"Because I'll not watch you throw away your existence assuming the worst."

"How uncharacteristically noble of you." John narrowed his eyes as he studied her, "What horrible trick did you hide up your sleeves this time?"

"Nothing and I'll thank you to be more forgiving." Vera gathered herself. "I think you should do a bit more research into dear Anna's condition."

"I'm not a doctor."

"But you could always smell a rat. If I think something's amiss then you definitely should."

"This could all be a trick to get my hopes up right before you crush my dreams."

Vera shrugged, "In another life perhaps but we're past that now."

"Are we?"

"I'm here to give you a warning, John."

"Not a threat? I remember the last time when you accused me of not knowing the difference."

"This isn't like then." Vera waved a hand toward the door. "She can be saved if you can figure out what's wrong with her."

"It's cancer."

"It's not. I've given enough of that in my time, spread if all over the earth with plagues and locus so I know what I'm about when I say that woman is not dying the way she claims."

"But she is dying?"

"They're all dying John. She just doesn't have to die this way."

John took a few breaths before he spoke, "Why bother telling me at all?"

"Because you're not the only one who can change." Vera almost attempted a half-smile. "Though I'm a slow learner, I do learn."

"And what have you learned?"

"Life is precious. Especially when you're one of them and only allowed the one you remember."

"What's changed for you Vera?"

"You, watching her die in front of you with nothing more than a smile on your face because you can just spend time with her." Vera stepped toward him, "How do you stand it, watching her die over and over again?"

"Because I love her, Vera. I've loved her from the first moment I saw her all those years ago. I've loved her every moment and minute and every sliver of eternity I've been offered because she makes me better. I'd do this over and over until the end of time just for the whiff of her company and the slightest chance at her good opinion."

Vera nodded, "And you just accept that this is what you'll do until this world burns or freezes? Until even we're no more."

"I've no reason to do anything else." John hesitated, "But thank you, for what that's worth."

"As I said, John," Vera waved a finger at him, "Look into her condition. It's not what it appears."

"Where would I start?"

"Start with her doctor. They're always the ones who want to make something from nothing and you could do something about that." Vera sniggered, "I already know that you have suspicions about him from your employer and because you're jealous of him."

"Jealous?"

Vera shook her head, "Don't try to play the ignorant with me. I know you and I know him. Don't think I don't also recognize the soul of the man I tempted toward treason and who gave me syphilis in its time."

"I recognized him."

"Then you'll feel no guilt in checking the validity of his diagnosis." Vera gave John a dramatic curtsy. "Good luck John. I can honestly say I wish you well."

"Much as I want to believe that, Vera, I'm just waiting for you to bite me in the ass when I'm not ready for it."

"Only if you ask nicely." Vera winked at him, "And I understand your hesitation. I've done you nothing but ill for most of our lives but I promise, the leaf is turned now."

"Forgive me if I don't take you at your word."

"Forgiveness from me to you is easy to give now John." Vera nodded at him, "I'll probably never see you again but we can both be glad of that."

Without another word she was gone.

* * *

John tapped the pen against the clipboard before handing it back over the desk. "That's all I've got in terms of my medical history."

"It's not much, Mr. Bates." The man on the other side of the desk laughed at it, "You've filled out barely anything on the forms."

"My parents died when I was very young and I didn't have any extended family so I've no idea about my history beyond what I've experienced for myself."

"It may be enough to give us some possible causes for the pains you've had." The doctor consulted the forms again before shaking his head. "It's probably nothing genetic."

"Is that a possibility?"

"Sometimes." The doctor tilted his head from side to side. "I had a woman in here the other day who evidenced the same breast cancer her mother did. Her older sister and mother died of the cancer and now she evidenced it as well."

"Does that happen often Doctor Green?"

"Often enough with some cancers but not all." Green held up his hands, "In the case I referenced, the youngest daughter in the family shows no sign of the disease at all."

"Is that a good sign?"

"It'll mean her three children won't be left orphans." Green adjusted in his seat. "But I'll recommend a few examinations for you, just to check you over to see what we might find in investigation."

"Thank you." John stood, extending a hand to shake Green's. "Might I ask what kind of medications you'd prescribe if I were sick?"

Green waved a hand, "It's really dependent on the patient and the kind of cancer. Everyone's bodies handle it differently."

"Would you recommend any of," John reached into his interior pocket and pulled out a paper, unfolding it to hand over to Green, "These?"

Green came around the desk to look over the paper, sniggering after a minute before handing it back. "Where'd you get this list?"

"I've done a bit of research at the library and I found these in a pharmacological anthology." John shrugged, "I thought these sounded like things they'd use if I had cancer."

"These aren't any that I'd use." Green handed the paper back. "You can tear that up and not worry over it. There are far more useful medications for this."

"Really?" John took the paper back, reading over the list again before clearing his voice. "Because this is a list of the medications you prescribed Doctor Anna Smith for her treatments."

Green's face paled and he swallowed heavily. "Where'd you get that information?"

"I'm her head of security." John stood taller, overshadowing the shorter man. "I've given samples of the medications filling her cabinet to a nurse friend of mine, in this very hospital, and I've included the results of her analysis on the listed medications in a file I gave to your Attending before I scheduled this meeting." John held up a finger and smiled, "That'll be them coming for you now."

"I didn't-"

"Didn't what, Doctor?" John opened his hands, "Expect to find yourself here, facing the reality that you poisoned a woman who will probably now die because of what you did?"

"I just- I just wanted-"

"Wanted what?" John backed Green into his desk, leaning over the other man. "Wanted her love, her money, or her time? What did you want from her that you thought you could steal from her by murdering her again."

"Again?" Green's fear flitted toward confusion a moment before John's presence instilled the fear anew. "I just wanted her to put me in her will."

"You did it for money?" John reached into another pocket, drawing out a small recorder and clicking it off. "You're a sick bastard."

"I-" The door opened and John stepped to the side before dropping the list and the recorder in the hand of the security guard there while the other one grabbed Green.

"Please give these to the police when they come for this asshole." John nodded to Green. "I wish you luck in prison but I doubt men like you last long in places like that."


	20. And We Must Change with Them

Anna lowered the paper, wiping at her eyes before meeting the expression of the police sitting across from her in the sitting room. She licked at her lips, swallowing slowly, and tried to speak. "I'm sorry, gentlemen, I'm not entirely myself."

"It's understandable doctor and that's perfectly alright." The constable nearest her offered a handkerchief and Anna smiled her thanks at him for it. "How long have you known Doctor Green?"

"Not long enough, it seems." Anna wiped again at her eyes before standing, "I'm sorry. Could we do this another day. I'm not feeling well and it's been a long day."

"Absolutely, Doctor." They stood and Anna barely nodded at them before escaping the room.

She went for the stairs, swaying slightly, and felt someone grabbing her arm. Turning she saw John and collapsed against his side. John held her, helping her up the stairs and into her room.

Anna sat on the edge of the bed, eyes filling with tears. She grabbed John's arm, forcing him to kneel before her. When she faced him she could barely speak.

"How'd you know? What made you suspicious when I had no idea? How could I not see it?"

"I'm a man, Ms. Anna and we're naturally suspicious of others for whose attentions we might be trying to vie."

Anna snorted, wiping at her eyes, "Are you vying for my affections, Mr. Bates?"

"I thought you decided I'd be called 'John' from now on."

"I did, didn't I?" Anna held his hand, gripping it tightly in her own. "How did I not see it?"

"Because someone as pure as yourself couldn't suspect that the world could be so cruel and horrible." John cupped his free hand over the where she clutched at his other. "You believe the best in people and this isn't something for which you need feel anything but relief that we caught him."

"It's out in the open." Anna wiped at her eyes, sniffing to try and regain her composure. "I'm glad of that at least. I don't have to walk the halls of the hospital wondering who knows and how I can hide the truth or when I'll be found out because I am found out and my shame has nowhere to hide."

"Why are you talking about shame? There's no shame in this."

"I'm ruined. Personally, professionally, physically… I'm spoiled forever in every way."

"You're not spoiled." John's grip on her hand forced her to look at him. "You're made holier and higher to all who see you because of the suffering you've been put through."

"Truly?"

"Truly." John's hand seemed to waver near her face and Anna pulled it the rest of the way so the comforting weight of his hand could cover her cheek.

"Why?"

"Because we're all fools occasionally and you've survived without falling to his level.

She closed her eyes, basking in the feel of him. And, to his credit, he never moved. He stayed on the floor before her, kneeling on her hardwood floor, just so she could feel soothed by his presence.

When she opened her eyes to see him again there was no expectation. No desire for anything but her comfort while her mind and emotions grappled with the reality of her new position. Their eyes met and Anna almost jumped as a spark echoed through her whole body.

Dropping his hand from her face she tried to stop her body humming with the residual energy. "John?"

"What?"

She opened her mouth to explain but then shook her head, "It's nothing. I'm just so grateful you're here."

"As I said, as long as you need me I'll be here."

Anna gave a bitter laugh, "Now that I don't need to drag myself to the hospital for treatments I don't need."

"Who's taking your case now?"

"There's an expert we've called into the hospital before for some of the children's cases who'll take my file." Anna wiped over her face with the handkerchief, "Try to reverse some of the damage and see what we can do about actually making me better."

"What do they think?"

Anna shrugged, "That I'm only a slightly less foolish idiot than the hospital board or the Chief of Staff."

"Big changes over there now then?"

"Who knows. It's not everyday the head of pediatrics is poisoned by the best doctor in oncology."

"I should hope not."

Anna laughed with John a moment before sobering. "Thank you. I don't know how else to say it but thank you. If you hadn't seen it coming then I might-"

"I'll remind you, Ms. Anna, that it's my job to make sure you're safe." John bit his lip before giving her half a smile, "Though I'll admit I didn't think I could fight something small enough to fit on a microscope slide."

"But you did."

"And I always will." John pointed around the room, "Do you want me to have anything brought up to you? I'm sure you'll be right as rain in a few days and finally enjoying snacking out of Mrs. Patmore's fridge but until then I can get you what you like."

"For now I just want time to recover from the shock and then find the strength to face those constables." Anna fell back against her pillows, "They probably think the worst of me."

"It's their job to think the worst of him, not you."

"But they will and if-"

"Anna," She stopped, with her mouth open, as his tone harbored no debate. "You're guiltless in all of this. You'll get better, they'll nail him to the wall, and you'll be free of it all. At the end of the day that's all that matters."

"You believe that?"

"I have to." John stood, wincing slightly and Anna cringed, realizing his legs might have fallen asleep from maintaining that position on her floor. "Now, you get some rest and I'll make sure there's something a bit heartier for dinner than soup."

"Thank you John." Anna laid back on the pillows, keeping a watch on him from the corner of her eye.

"It's my pleasure, Ms. Anna."

The door closed and Anna stared up at her ceiling. Her life fractured before and now it had again. But this time was different. This time he was here and there was something about that fact, his mere presence, that resonated in her very bones that had her curious.

Anna Smith was very good at being curious.

* * *

Anna craned her head back, giving an approving whistle as the red haired woman spread her hands as if to show off her office when she sat down in the chair. "And you said you'd never get the job with Mr. Harding."

"I know what I said and it's not nice to throw someone's fears back in their face." She pointed at Anna, "I remember many a night of you pacing up and down our dorm room at Uni, fretting and frantic that you were going to fail an exam or miss your oral presentations or somehow freeze with the scalpel in your hand poised over an artery."

"Now look at us," Anna pointed to herself, "Me, dying of a false cancer diagnosis that resulted in poisoning and you, the future Mrs. John Harding."

"My name'll still be Gwen, thank you very much." Gwen shifted in her chair, "It's the eighties for crying out loud Anna, the world's changed."

"The world's stayed the same. We're just pretending it hasn't."

"Don't be dull and dismal just because you might really be dying this time." Gwen leaned over the desk, "Why'd you come all the way here when I could've given you the information by phone? Hell, I could've faxed it to you."

"I'm a little wary of who might overhear or see it if we do it that way." Anna tapped the edge of the desk, "And I had to be here anyway. I was meeting with a specialist."

"I hope this one's not trying to get into your trousers or steal your money."

"Anything he's getting paid he's getting from the National Health so I'm not worried." Anna shrugged, "We met him at one of those frat parties once. Evelyn Napier, do you remember him?"

"Was he one of Mary's Desire of Suitors?" Anna nodded and Gwen took a moment before snapping her fingers, "The desperate one. Basically her trained poodle because he'd do whatever she wanted, whenever she wanted it, and then she walked right over him."

"That's the one."

"How is Mary?"

"George finally stopped teething and now he looks like that description in _Lord of the Rings_ of Gollum."

"Bald and crawling?"

"I meant the six teeth but I guess it all fits in a way." Anna shook her head, "Now I'm never getting that image out of my head."

"You'll forget it."

"Maybe not. I called that one journalism professor Snake Eyes for months in private and then said it to his face."

"The Scottish one?"

"Yeah, him."

Gwen cringed, "Probably a good thing you immediately switched colleges after that."

"We all knew journalism was a bad idea."

"Funny you mention it," Gwen handed a folder to Anna. "Your Mr. Bates is a prolific writer. Not bad stuff, on a whole, and he's not afraid of the muddy assignments. He worked as part of an international delegation of journalists that exposed the Khmer Rouge, he's got articles on the situation during the conflicts in Vietnam, and even some less-than-friendly stuff about Nicaragua."

"Anything on the IRA?"

"Why'd you ask?"

"Just the Irish in his voice when he talks." Anna closed the folder. "Is that all there is on him then?"

"That got me started on a few things but then I contacted some people I know doing genealogical research in Utah."

"Utah?" Anna frowned, "What's in Utah?"

"Apparently some of the most comprehensive genealogical records in the world. Some religious group does it as a pastime for their old people." Gwen waved a hand, like she was brushing the issue off. "I didn't ask more than that. What they do with their old is their business."

"Did they find anything?"

"Did they." Gwen pulled a box from behind her desk and dropped it with a definite thump. "Turns out your Mr. Bates is not who he seems."

"How so? He's secretly an IRA operative or working for the Russians?"

"Don't joke, the Soviets are a real threat Anna."

Anna raised her hands, "My apologies."

"Accepted," Gwen lowered her accusing finger. "You do know Maggie could be listening to everything we say right now."

"Like Thatcher cares what we talk about in the back of a library."

"Libraries aren't just repositories for books, Anna. These are our greatest weapons and, therefore, we're sitting on an arsenal in here."

"Warn me when we're going into siege mode then. I'll build the barricade." Anna dug into the box, sorting through the paperwork. "Did you raid the genealogical records and the city files?"

"Cost me a small fortune in shipping and copying."

"I'll write you a check." Anna flipped through the statements. "This isn't a joke, is it?"

"Which part?"

Anna turned the pages to Gwen, "The part where these records all have John Bates's name on them with identical signatures."

"Not a joke."

"Okay," Anna thumbed through them before putting her hands in the air like she wanted to wipe it clear. "Let's assume, for a moment, that he's names after his father who's named after his father and so on. I'd get the same names for years so could that be it?"

"Usually people add 'junior' or a number of it's a sequential inheritance." Gwen tapped the papers Anna put on the desk. "But signatures aren't inherited. Even if the men in his family were the most unimaginatively named in the history of the world they'd still have variations in their signature."

"What if they just wanted to copy their fathers?"

"No one likes their fathers that consistently." Gwen shook her head, "This is something different."

"Different how?"

"Well," Gwen hefted a huge book onto the desk, lifting everything an inch off the surface when it impacted. "According to this, the first reference to a John Bates goes back to the time of William the Conqueror's oft forgotten son, Robert."

"Who was he?"

"Robert? King for a few years before his brother overthrew him."

"No," Anna scowled, "John Bates."

"He was a general." Gwen opened to the right page and Anna gawked at the picture. "Said to have perished in the same fire that killed the king's niece when it burned down her castle in the Yorkshire moors."

"Did he have children?"

"Not according to any official genealogies I've followed."

"Maybe he didn't have an official genealogy."

Gwen scoffed, putting a hand to her chest, "Please respect that I do this for a living. I respect that you can cut open children and sow them back up well enough to play cricket on the school team so please, a little professional courtesy."

"Sorry." Anna opened her hand to Gwen, "You were saying about the general's genealogy."

"Yes. Long and short of it, a man of his standing would've recorded his family history."

"So he didn't have children and then what?"

"The I traced a number of John Bates through history. Each of them in a security, defense, warrior, or soldiering profession."

"Family business?"

"More than likely." Gwen grabbed a chunk of pages and turned to the next one. "But the more definitive proof is in this photograph. The Royal Family shortly after the Crown Prince married the Duchess of Reyvaan in the later 1880s."

"I thought the Crown Prince died."

"He did. Shot his bride and himself." Gwen shook her head, "I don't know which part was the bigger tragedy. The fact that he killed his pregnant wife or that he did it in a syphilitic haze. Man was off his rocker as his mind deteriorated to the ravages of that disease."

"Teaches one not to mess with prostitutes I guess." Anna rubbed at her abdomen, a hollow feeling there replacing the stomach clenching she had taken as her norm with all her treatments. She frowned before clearing her head to think. "Maybe it was a mercy they all died before she lost the baby to syphilis herself."

"That's the thin," Gwen snapped her fingers, "She didn't have syphilis and neither did the baby."

"Then he was just mad?"

"Neither history nor the Royal Family will really tell us that so we're all speculation here." Gwen closed the book. "There are other John Bates that crop up in the intervening decades. Soldiers and reporters and even a war photographer traveling with General Eisenhower at the liberation of those concentration camps."

"And what are you saying?" Anna pushed her hands toward all the information before her. "What does all this prove? That my security chief is a vampire who's lived for thousands of years?"

"Since he goes out in the sun, eats garlic, and seems religious enough to touch a cross without burning himself, I think you're safe from Christopher Lee coming into your bedroom one night and rasping 'I vant to suck your blood' while you sleep."

"Thanks for that, I'm feeling so much more comforted now."

"Honestly Anna?" Gwen opened her hands toward the information, "I don't know what I've given you… other than a very interesting discussion topic for the next time he makes you an egg sandwich."

"I guess I do." Anna stood, "Alright, I'll ask him about it."

"What's your starting line, 'Hey, I know this sounds intrusive, but could you tell me where I might find the Fountain of Youth'?"

"I was going with, 'if you're not a vampire then did you sell your soul for your immortality'." Anna snorted, "Please, I've got an hour ride home to think about how to make this topic work."

"For the record," Gwen heaved the oversized tome onto her shoulder, "It won't work no matter what you try so you're just going to have to do your best and go for it."

"I figured." Anna leaned over the desk, kissing Gwen's cheek. "Say hello to John for me and actually send me an invite to your wedding. I'll make it now since I'm no longer dying."

"Don't you mean dying as quickly as you thought you were?"

"Don't be an ass."

"It's my best quality," Gwen slapped her own butt before pointing to the door, "And don't let my door hit yours on the way out."

Anna rode the train home, staring out the window the entire time without really seeing what passed her by. The rush that turned everything to a blur of green painted over the windows just gave background to her thoughts. The thoughts her mind presented only to discard like someone ripping sheets from a legal pad just to lob into a distance waste paper basket.

When she arrived at the station her mind was made up.

Or, she thought it was.

John waited to retrieve her and escorted her back to the car, opening the door to allow her inside. Once she buckled in, waiting for him to do the same, she stayed silent for him to merge into the traffic. In fact, she stayed silent until they pulled into the drive of her house.

He parked the car and turned the key back to let the ignition die. With a deep breath he faced her in the seat. "Did I do something wrong?"

"What?"

"You've not said a word to me since I met you on the platform."

"Because I've a great many words I need to say to you and I don't know how to ask any of them."

"As frankly as possible is always best for me."

"Alright then." Anna adjusted in her seat, facing John. "How is it that you've traveled through time the long way to be here right now?"

John gaped, "I'm sorry?"

"I looked into your background and, a number of well done articles and exposes aside, my librarian friend discovered you trace back to the time of William the Conqueror. There are gaps but history has those." Anna waited but John did not respond. "Well? Don't you have anything to say?"

"I've much to say but now I don't know where to start."

"I always start at the beginning… I hear it's a very good place to start."

John snorted, "It certainly is but this'll be hard to explain and I'm not sure how to do it properly."

Anna smiled, "As frankly as possible is best for me too."


	21. The Deepest of Wounds

John cleared his throat, "Then, frankly speaking, I'm an immortal god who endured being cast to earth by my vengeful partner when I told her I wanted to seek a better life. I then wandered the world in the intervening years searching for the person I love so I can escape immortality and live a mortal life."

"That's it then?"

He nodded, "It's the most succinct summary I can offer."

Anna frowned, as if searching her mental storage for a word she thought could best cap the definition he just gave her. "So you're a guardian angel?"

"Of sorts."

"To whom?"

He lowered his voice, "I would've thought that was quite obvious."

Anna's jaw dropped and her face ran the gambit of expressions before she settled on one. "You've here for me?"

"I've been there for you, twice now, and I'm hoping third time's the charm."

"So you've what?" Anna shrugged, "Chased me through time waiting for me to come back to you?"

"In a way."

"What way?"

"There's a Buddhist and Hindu belief that the soul participates in a cycle to find nirvana and only leaves the cycle once enlightenment is reached."

"Then my soul's trapped in that cycle?"

John nodded, "I believe most souls are but I've only ever cared about yours."

"And you've traveled the long, slow road as what? A weary traveler?"

"Yes." Anna went to speak but jumped when a crash of thunder sounded from outside the car. John tilted forward over the steering wheel to see the damage and whistled. "Best get you inside."

"No," She grabbed his arm, pulling him back from where he prepared to open the door. "I need you to tell me what happened."

"When?"

"Those other times." She swallowed, "Don't think my mind hasn't already jumped to a few less than savory conclusions or put together that the women you mentioned earlier were me."

John hung his head, "They weren't you as you are now. They were you as you were then."

"What's the difference? If it's the same soul why wouldn't it be me over and over again?"

"Because your life experiences and theirs are worlds apart." John snorted a laugh and tried to cover it when Anna raised an unimpressed eyebrow, "Sorry, I just realized I should've said centuries or decades apart since we're not hopping planets or dimensions."

"I'm sure, in the grand scheme of an undiscovered universe, there's potential for that." Anna put a hand to his chin, forcing him to look at her. "What happened to me, those other times?"

"You died in my arms."

She sucked in a breath, "The time with the baby?"

"Bled out from a gunshot wound inflicted by your husband."

Her eyebrows practically brushed her hairline. "We were having an affair?"

"He was syphilitic and dying anyway. At the time we didn't think much of the morality of the decision."

"What?" Anna scoffed, "I was that enamored with you I couldn't wait for my husband to bite the big one before I jumped your bones?"

"I wouldn't put it that way but I thoroughly enjoyed it."

Anna's eyes narrowed and John shifted a moment later when she gave him an unforgivingly long appraisal. "And the time before that?"

"A general we'd jailed for treason broke free and stabbed you to death before burning the castle down around us."

"You survived."

"Sounded almost like an accusation."

"More an observation."

John shrugged and pointed to his chest, "I'm immortal, remember?"

Anna turned back in her seat, facing the windshield now thundering the echo of rain falling in sheets over the car. Her voice, free of the suspicion and confusion of a moment ago, seemed almost too quiet for the noise outside when she finally spoke again "Why do it?"

"What?"

She faced him, "It must've hurt, not just he first time but then to do it again, to watch me die. To hold me as I died. Why do it?"

"Why not do it?"

"Because it's like cutting yourself." Anna tapped her arm. "Many people think that cutting, as a practice, is a form of control and it is. But I've treated enough cutters, recommended them to enough treatment centers, to know they do it for the euphoria. That moment of pleasure-tipped-pain that allows them to ride an addictive high."

"You think I'm addicted?"

"I think you're self-flagellating by trying to continuously find me." Anna patted her whole hand to her chest. "When you took this job I was dying in front of you. Without anyone else involved I would've died in your arms all over again and then what?"

"I would've waited to find you again."

"You would've taken this mad carousel back around and around until what? The world ends."

"If that's what it took."

Anna thumped her head back on the seat, closing her eyes in frustration John could feel wafting off of her. "Why?"

"Why not?"

"Because, John Bates," Anna sniffed, wiping at her eyes and breaking John's heart in the same motion. "I'm not worth that. I'm not worth you losing yourself to a helpless crusade."

"I disagree."

"Obviously." She threw her hand up, "Even with knowing I'm not dying of cancer I'm still dying, John. The poison in my body might never been removed and I'll deteriorate before your eyes again."

"Then I'll wait." John took her hand, holding as delicately as he might a ceramic figurine. "Because there's nothing I'd rather do than love you all over again. Again and again and again. No matter the pain, no matter the suffering, no matter the cost because there's nothing better than knowing I can love you all over again."

She covered his hand with hers, staring at it before meeting his eyes. "Which me, John. You've known three already."

"Each one is you, Anna." His other hand caressed her cheek, fingers warming her in a sensation she thought long lost to her. "Each one is a little different. One is a little more dignified, the other a bit more defiant, and you… you're a touch more delicate. But each one is you."

His eyes studied hers, "Appearances aside, I see your soul each time I meet you Anna. I see the 'you' that is all and none of the 'yous' I've met so far. They're all a part of a grander whole I could spend eternity unraveling."

"And will you?" Anna leaned toward him, her voice a whisper again, "Will you get to know the me that's right here?"

"If you give me the chance."

Their lips were almost touching, her fingers like ice in his but the cold grip keeping him locked in the moment. "Then we'll both experience the euphoria of risking the deepest of wounds."

"And what are those?"

"Love we're doomed to lose." Anna's lips lighted over his gently and John succumbed to it.

Given his experience with the different Annas he wanted her to take the lead. As he said, each was different and therefore he would respond to what his Anna wanted. The Anna in front of him. The Anna he refused to lose this time.

The shiver in her body could have been the moment or the cold. The tremor in her hands could have been her excitement or her body's developed frailty. The chill to her lips the atmosphere of the car or poor circulation. Whatever the reasons John knew he did not want their first kiss- and hopefully first tryst- in her car.

He broke the kiss, smiling at her confusion, and stroked his thumb over her cheekbone. "I think we should continue this inside. Where you won't freeze to death and where I won't be tempted to see how far back this seat goes."

"Presumptuous of you, Mr. Bates."

"I figured there were two ways to read the signs you were giving me. One, passionate desire or two, you're cold and this car isn't helping."

Anna grinned at him, "I might be tempted to submit that both answers will be taken as correct. Though I don't know how passionate I can be in my state."

"I'll go slow."

"I'm sure you will." Anna put a hand on her door, "So let's not delay shall we?"

If he had a stopwatch he might've broken a record for how fast he was out of the car and around to her side of it. John pulled her door clear and helped her out, offering his coat as a pitiful cover against the rain. His other arm went to her waist, in an attempt to help hold her up, and they sprinted as fast she her legs could go toward the house. Admittedly it was not very fast and John eventually dropped his coat to sweep Anna into his arms to carry her the rest of the way.

The cavernous house echoed with their poorly suppressed laughter and John set Anna back on her feet. Their smiling faces finally registered one another and John stopped. Even as an immortal he was no great student of time but he could swear it practically slowed as they stood in the entryway, dripping wet all over the floor, and trying to breath with the beats of a clock instead of like racehorses.

Her tentative hand came up to his face, smoothing over skin and raindrops, and rested so his jaw sat in the palm of her hand. His own hand covered hers, warming the frigid appendage between the dual heats. She sighed, closing her eyes to feel him, and tipped his head so their foreheads rested together.

"I'll warn you," Anna licked over her lips, pulling back to better look in his eyes. "I haven't done this in awhile so I might not be at my best."

"If you think it's been some time for you," John snickered, using his other hand to trace a ring through the water gathering near her throat above the neck of her jumper. "I'll have you know that I've waited over a hundred years for this."

"Then we'd best waste no more time."

"Best not." John ran his hand down her arm to her face while he other cupped her free cheek. When he cradled her head in his hands John dipped down to kiss her.

Her fingers slipped from his cheek to his neck, digging for purchase there while her other hand slipped a bit on his jacket to grip at his elbow. John kept his movements gentle, aware of her condition, and tried to match their desires with adoration instead of aggression. She gave over to it and took a momentary break in their embrace to whisper.

"Please take me upstairs."

John lifted her, arms looping over his shoulders and her head resting under his chin, and ascended the grand staircase. They dripped all the way to her room, giggling to one another about the distinctive trail they would leave. But once her door closed they entered a sanctuary.

Resting her on the bed, John shucked off his jacket and worked off his shoes and damp socks before going to her. Kicked her own shoes off the end of the bed and sat up to remove her jumper just as John's hands rested on hers. They did not exchange words, only expressions as John's nod answered her eyebrow raised in question.

He started at the foot of the bed, drawing first one sock and then the other off her feet. She reclined back, body vibrating with anticipation and- if he were honest about their situation- a bit of cold. John sensed it and moved to the heater on the wall, turning it up before returning to her side.

His eyes never left hers as he traced his fingers up her legs. Legs that held less muscle definition and mass than they used to but still tingled under his attentions. Or over her stomach, under her jumper, where his face fell with each distinct rib he counted. Or to her shoulders and thin arms as he lifted the spotted and damp wool from her body.

Now when she shivered John was sure it was his gaze. The room, heated by a custom-made heater Mary insisted Anna needed and had John install when Anna went to a treatment so she could not object, toasted now so all the rising hairs on Anna's arms were because John's fingers glided there. Or the quiver in her thigh because he risked a kiss through her jeans.

He kept his motions soft, helping her feel the sensations of sensuality where he was sure she only felt the results of pawing, selfish desire before. John had to bite back his own rage when he realized the last man Anna risked in her bed or on her body tried to steal that bed and poison that body. In a moment John realized what he wanted to do more than anything.

Slipping a hand behind her head, John brought his lips to hers. Anna responded, trying to force him quickly, but John slowed them. He closed his eyes, feeling deep within himself and touched that part of him that made him a god. That part of him that made him immortal, untouchable, and doomed to the endless cycle of watching those he loved fade and die while he soldiered on. The part of him he loosened enough to give to her.

Anna broke the kiss, John watching how her body reacted. When her back arched and she shuddered he felt the fear like a bucket of ice down his spine. But a moment later Anna turned to him, smiling, and insisted his lips meet hers again.

Even in a few minutes John could sense her body healing. The hum under his fingers as he carefully slipped the button on her jeans loose and slid the zipper down told him as much. The sighs and returned caresses that held warmth and strength encouraged him. And when she pulled her vest over her head to leave her bare but for her knickers and bra John could almost see the glow on her skin from it. Different from the glow he wanted to leave there but enough for now.

He set to memorizing her again. Memories of previous encounters played like old maps for him, setting the course for his hands and lips in touches and massages meant to bring her to pleasure. Her body responded, differently than before as she was not ticklish or sensitive in the same places as before, but enough to leave John counting backwards in as many mathematical variations as possible to keep his pace slow while his own trousers threatened permanent damage.

Her fingers set to work while he paused. The buttons on his damp shirt left their holds and John hissed when her fingernails, tentative at first but growing bolder the more he verbalized, scraped over his skin. Skin that had seen too many winters and too few summers but now heated under her lavished attentions.

She shifted and maneuvered under him, learning him by lips and licks as he had her. Now it was John's turn to shiver and shudder while his arms held him above her. A giggle from her vibrated over his skin to send blood racing and boiling through him and John risked a hand to her hip to grip there.

Even with his numerous abilities still intact John could not honestly say how his trousers eventually joined his shirt on the floor. Or how he worked himself back over her once her hands worked to trace and tease him through briefs he thought would burn off him from the inferno she invoked in him. Or even when their lips met again. All was a second and an eternity at the same time. The exquisite stretch of moments for two people in love.

But his briefs hit the floor and his fingers rested just below the confines of her bra. He waited, like he would forever if he had too, and could almost taste the joy in his mouth when she nodded against his neck. The clasps popped open and her arms slithered loose of the straps to fling the object to the nether regions of the hot room around them.

With sweat beading where raindrops had been, John pressed his lips to her throat. He trailed down her chest in time to her whimpers and keens until he arrived at her breasts. His hands worked over them, kneading and cherishing there while he traced the lines her bra left with his mouth. Eventually he risked kissing over her nipple, sending it tightening even in the heat and her moaning at the gesture. With a grin John sucked it into his mouth, working there until she could take no more and turning to the other.

Her hips lifted off the bed, one of her feet caressing up the back of his leg, and her hands at his shoulders scrambled for purchase as he stole all the air from her lungs. So consumed in her taste, licking sweat and scent from her in equal measure, John gasped in surprise when Anna took matters in her own hands. Or him, in her hands after she somehow managed to slip her knickers off without him noticing.

Their proximity had her strokes brushing against the crux of her sex with every long pull and John almost lost himself in the sound her voice. He abandoned her breasts with his mouth, scouting down the contours of her body to where his shoulders forced her legs to spread wider. Anna's hand, having lost its grip on him, soon raked into his hair. She pulled and tugged in time with the lap of his tongue against her or the nip of his teeth when he sucked deeply.

A thought at the back of John's brain wondered if, perhaps, the house was not as empty as they thought. But his daring side, only on display when she was there, told him that anyone else could sod off. He slipped his fingers through her folds to glide inside her, exulting in the clench on her internal muscles.

When he thought she might tear a chunk of his hair from his head, John moved his mouth up just enough to send her screaming a release while his teeth worked over her nerves. He licked over her, the sound of her climax all he needed to affirm his success while he enjoyed her taste, before drawing his fingers out slowly. Her eyes met his when he took them into his mouth, removing all traces of her there with a smile.

Anna's hands pulled herself up by leveraging at the back of his neck, and thrust her hips toward him. He struck her nerves and she cried out while he groaned, resting his head on her shoulder, and tried to gain any semblance of control. But with her legs wrapping over his waist and her body writhing under him it was all John could do just to yield to her insistence.

He drove forward, burying himself in one motion, and paused there. Their chests rubbed and pressed together as both tried to fill starved lungs before seizing one another in a kiss. They drove one another higher and higher as the sounds of their passion echoed in concert between their kisses and their bodies.

John angled her with a hand under one knee, driving deeper inside her, while Anna sank her nails into the flesh of his ass to hold him in place when her hips moved to drive him to strike her nerves with every motion. He laid a trail from her jaw to her breasts and back, using his hand in a flailing attempt to drive her to the insanity he greeted with open arms. And she responded in kind with her other hand forcing its way between them to send her hitting the stars in the next moment.

With the sound of her second peak ringing in his ears, John rutted against her. All finesse, all control, and all attempts at pacing abandoned for the feel of her lips on his as his frenetically frantic plunges finally gave way to his climax. His body stuttered, dropping in exhaustion, but he caught himself before he crushed Anna under him.

Turning just slightly he landed beside her, holding her close a moment before she slipped free. Anna found his hand, holding it over her heart as they both used their eyes to communicate while their bodies tried to find the air for words. Eventually she took a deep enough breath to speak through her smile to him.

"Do you remember what I said about the competency of my former boyfriend?"

John frowned, trying to clear his head, "You said he wasn't bad."

"I'm going to amend my statement in all accounts." Anna kissed his hand, shifting closer to flick some hair from his eyes. "You are, by far, the best I've ever had."

"And you're the best I've ever had."

"My previous selves included?"

"In this," John leaned himself over enough to kiss both her cheeks, her forehead, and then her lips before settling back on her pillows. "You're all equally matched. The situations were different but it's all the same to me."

"Mind-blowing?"

"Beautiful."

"I'll take that." Anna slotted herself next to him, taking only a moment to breathe in sync with him. "I wish I remembered those other times."

"Why?'

"Because then I think my degree of sexual experience would be far superior."

"I'm sure," John rested his chin on her head, "We'll find more than enough time to make the experience better every time."

"You're awfully sure of yourself."

"I'm awfully good at loving you."

Anna kissed the underside of his chin, "I'm beginning to realize how true that really is."


	22. In Matters of the Heart

Anna leaned her head back against the lip of the tub and sighed. She raised her hand over the edge of the water, smiling at the color of her skin before smiling even more broadly as John entered. He knelt next to the tub, leaning his head on the edge to stare at her.

"How are you doing today?"

"The doctors said much better." Anna extended her arm for him to see, "I'm gaining muscle definition again, my body's taking very well to the treatment, and they think I might even be well enough for sexual activity soon."

"Did you tell them you've already engaged in that?"

"I think my gynecologist'll figure it out when I go visit next week." Anna giggled, turning to him. "They've all actually kept saying how odd it is."

"What is?"

"My recovery. They were ninety percent sure I'd still die two months ago and now they're all clear skies ahead."

"That's a good thing."

"It's a medically improbable and damned near impossible thing, John." Anna narrowed her eyes, "What'd you do?"

"I'm not a doctor so I didn't do anything."

"No, you did something." She pointed at his face, "I can see it like a glint in your eyes. You did something to make me better."

"Would you mind if I did?"

"I'd like to know what it is." Anna pointed back to herself, "Who knows, maybe it's incompatible with my system."

"It's not."

"How can you be sure?"

"Because you're healthy." John kissed her, risking leaning over the water to do it. "Now, if you're all healthy then I'm going to go. I've got an interview in the city."

"For a new job?"

"Please don't tell me I need to explain the ethics that explain sleeping with your boss is a bad thing."

"You mean," Anna popped first one button and then the line of them as she worked herself to kneel in the tub while John still leaned over it. "You don't think I should be sleeping with my chief of security?"

"I think I'm setting a poor example of professionalism." John teased back, dropping his shirt and then his trousers on the floor while Anna ran her finger along the line of his waistband. "And my professional reputation is at stake."

"Which one? You've got so many." She bit her lip in a grin when he groaned at her hand holding over him through his briefs.

"The one that says I'm a good bodyguard and security chief." He struggled to speak as she worked the elastic down before stroking over him again. "The one that says I shouldn't be naked in your bathroom."

"Technically," Anna adjusted her position, trying to keep herself in check so as not to give away her intentions. "Uncle Robert hired you and since you work for him, not me, then you're just sleeping with the boss's niece."

"That's not better."

"It is for me." Anna used her other hand to cup his weight, fingering over his hanging sack. "I've never slept better in my life. You give me an appetite."

"For what?"

"You, mostly." She surged forward and captured his erection in her mouth.

John stumbled forward, barely holding himself up as she worked her teeth and tongue over him. Her fingers dug into the skin of his hips, to steady herself or to steady him she really had no idea, and took him as deeply as she could. One of his hands struggled to hold at her hair, kneading and tugging there as a means of guiding her attentions when he needed them but mostly just to stop himself falling over.

She grinned, releasing him when he whimpered at her, and took his hands to draw him into the bath with her. He hissed at the heat of the water when Ana pressed him back against the back of the tub. Placing her knees on either side of him she sank slowly down on him.

"I think," With a gyration of her hips his head jerked forward, his eyes wide in surprise. "That maybe I should come with you, to the interview."

"And distract everyone?" John's fingers slipped to her waist, holding securely there as Anna set the pace between. "I don't think so."

"It's only a newspaper John." She chided, her nails scratching down his chest before tangling in the hair there. "They're all looking for the next story anyway."

"You are one." He leaned forward, kissing and sucking on her breasts between his comments. " _Enchanting heiress makes miraculous recovery after ex-boyfriend and shamed oncologist goes to prison for her attempted murder_. Sounds like a cracking headline to me."

"Better than _Disgustingly rich woman takes advantage of staff member with sex_?" Anna teased before John's sneaking fingers pressed and rubbed at her nerves.

"I wouldn't say you've taken advantage of me." John argued back, leaving his attentions at her breasts to caress up her neck to her ear, "I'd say it's been entirely well-received and rather well-rewarded."

"So do I." She managed, squeezing her eyes closed as he drove her higher. "I do enjoy having my way with you."

"Then offer me a new job."

"What kind of job?"

John stopped, forcing her to look at him. "Sex slave."

"John-" Before she could chide him appropriately she screeched her released as he drove into her at the same time he applied pressure to her nerves. Anna attacked his neck, turning to his ear to mutter at him as her climax petered out. "If you get this job I'm going to do all sorts of things to you."

He sped up, "What kind of things?"

"I'd like to finish what I started before I pulled you into this tub. But on my bed… maybe with you tied to the bedposts."

"Anna," He whimpered, speed sending waves from the tub over the sides. "You're not playing fair."

"I didn't think fair came into it when I wanted to get you off." She lowered her voice, "Which would you prefer, my hand or my mouth? Or both?"

John broke with a grunt, shunting into her until his body could not move any longer. He slumped back against the ceramic of the tub as Anna risked a look over the side. She sniggered, "I think we need to get you new clothes."

"Why?"

"We rather soaked the ones you were wearing." Anna climbed off him, grabbing a towel to wrap over herself. "I'll get you something while you're… recovering."

"Minx." John leveled a finger at her, "You're a bloody tease."

"It's what you get for being so irresistible." Anna leaned over to give him a kiss, pulling back when he wanted to deepen it. "You've an interview, Mr. Bates, and it wouldn't do to be late."

"It's your fault we're in this mess in the first place."

"I think the word you're looking for is pleasure followed by a thank you." Anna winked at him, "I'll find you something to wear."

They made it into the city and John insisted Anna wait for him in a café opposite the building. She tried to argue but he only kissed her. "You should be eating something and I don't want you in there. Too many weird people in that building."

"You're the one going to work there."

"Because I know what I'm up against." John pointed at the building, "They get a single whiff of who you are and boom, you're under a deluge of reporters."

"You make them sound like piranhas."

"There are similarities."

"Fine," Anna raised her hands, "I've got reading to do anyway. Research waits for no man."

"Or woman." John kissed her again before pulling back to frown, "I thought you were cleared for work."

"I will be… after next week." Anna pushed at his shoulder, "Go on. They're waiting for you in there and I need you back so I can fulfill on my promise."

"Anna," He groaned, "You'll make me indecent."

"I'd like to make you more indecent later."

John stole one last kiss before jogging through the zebra stripes to the building. Anna smiled to herself, walking into the café to claim a seat in the corner. She opened a large book on her knees, reading over it while taking notes on a small pad until someone knocked on the table.

Looking up she frowned at the dark-haired woman standing there. "Yes?"

"Are you a doctor?"

"Do you need one?"

"No. Just a feeling." She shook her head, pointing to the seat opposite Anna. "Mind if I sit?"

"Be my guest." Anna opened her hand at the seat, closing the book as the woman sat, "What gave it away?"

"Only lawyers and doctors cart around tomes as large as that one." She tapped her finger on the cover, "With some many words normal people run from."

"I guess they would." Anna shrugged, "I'm a pediatrician by training."

"Like children?"

"I do."

"If it's not too personal a question, do you want some of your own?"

Anna nodded, "I would. But my boyfriend and I are only just starting so I'm patient enough to wait and see when that happens."

The woman sucked in a breath, "Is he good to you?"

"He's very good to me."

"Are you happy?"

Anna allowed a moment of confusion to pass over her face, "Yes. I think we're very happy."

"Then I wish you the best, sincerely." The woman stood, "And tell John I think he made the right decision. He'll know what that means."

"Tell John- Hey!" Anna followed the woman out of the café as she walked away from her. "How'd you know his name was John?"

Before the woman could respond both heard a screeching crash. Anna's blood ran cold as she turned to see the car in the middle of the zebra stripes while a body sprawled out on the pavement four meters away. She tore toward it, ignoring the honking horns and shouts from everyone else to skid to the body's side.

John struggled to breathe, his chest heaving while he panted, and the huffing wheezes gave Anna a million diagnoses at the same time. She reached out a hand to his shirt, drawing it back a moment as the red there spread over the white material. His hands flailed to find hers and Anna grabbed it blindly as tears hazed her vision.

"I got the job, Anna."

"I told you." She tired to sound lighter, give her voice a false pitch as she carefully felt over his broken body to assess the damage she could. "But you're not in a position now to take the job. We need to get you better."

"This won't get better Anna." His chest rattled and Anna closed her eyes when she encountered the extent of the problems, hearing more the longer he struggled to breathe. "This is it."

"You're not a doctor. You don't know that."

"I'm not a fool either. I've served on too many battlefields to not recognize that I'm not getting off this pavement." John struggled for enough air to speak as Anna pulled closer to him. "I'm sorry Anna. I wanted more time with you."

"No, no, no," She held him, tugging at his sleeve and any other part of him she could reach as she struggled to hold him. "Save yourself. You survived all those battlefields because you're immortal and you can survive this."

"I can't Anna."

"I know you can. You've got the power. You told me as much."

"I gave it to you. To fix you." His fingers traced her face, leaving bloody streaks there. "I wanted to save you for once. To succeed where I'd failed before."

"Then take it back." Anna insisted, tears dropping over him as her voice strangled. "Take it back so you can live with me. So we can finally be together."

"No."

"Take it back." She sobbed, "I won't live without you."

"But you'll live, that's all that matters."

"Take it back, damn you. Save yourself!" Anna buried her head by his neck, the distant sound of sirens offering her a false hope. "I can't lose you."

"You won't lose me." She raised her head and covered his trembling fingers when they brushed over her cheek. "We always find one another."

"Not if I lose you now."

"You'll just be taking the long, slow path." He tried to smile but it turned into a wince. "You'll be the weary traveler now."

"No! I don't want it. Take it back." She held his hand to her chest, as if she could force him to take whatever he gave her out and put it in himself. "Take it and save yourself."

"I won't make that choice, Anna."

"If you don't then you'll die and I'll lose you." She sniffed, trying to enunciate past the sobs and tears. "I can't lose you."

"I'll come back. My soul's bound to yours and I couldn't leave you."

"You're leaving me now."

"I won't be gone." His hand slipped from her grip to settle over her heart as the shouts from the emergency squad echoed hollowly in her ears. "I'm here. Right here. Always."

"It's not enough." Anna shook her head. "It'll never be enough."

"It'll have to be." John managed a final, shuddering breath, "I love you Anna. I always have and I always will."

"I love you John." She kissed him, smoothing his hair back. "Come back to me John."

He did not respond and Anna sobbed harder when she realized the heavy weight on her legs was his body but not his soul. That was gone. Where or when she had no idea. She just knew he was not there anymore.

For the first time, John left her.

In the intervening days Anna was sure life ticked on but she barely noticed. She only ate by instinct and doctor's orders. She only slept because the body exhausts itself with too much crying. And she only got out of bed because she had nothing better to do.

Eventually she realized she had to do what John did. What he had always done. She had to move on the slow path and find him again. That could only happen if she was moving.

And her first move was to get his things out of her sight so she would stop thinking he would walk through the door again instead of knowing his body would enter the cold, hard ground the next day.

Anna ran a hand over her face, looking through John's things and pulling the suits into a box. As she reached over her head into the closet to pull down a stack of jumpers, something tumbled to the ground. She stopped, leaving the jumpers in a huddled mess, she bent to retrieve the box.

Popping it open, Anna covered her mouth with her hand. A cry escaped her and running feet filled the hallway as Mary made her way into the room. She came to Anna's side, helping her sit on the edge of the bed, and rubbed at her shoulders.

"Anna? Are you alright?" Anna held the box toward Mary and Mary let out a breath. "I see."

"I think he wanted to propose." Anna wiped at her eyes, losing her control to sob uncontrollably into one of the jumpers she snatched from the floor. But the smell of him only drove her to cry harder.

Mary held her close, soothing her by rubbing a hand over her back. Anna turned to her cousin's shoulder. They stayed close until someone knocked on the door. Anna wiped at her eyes, turning with Mary to see Robert there.

"I'm sorry to interrupt you, Anna, but there's a woman here who insists she needs to see you."

"What about?"

"She said she's here about John."

"Is it about the funeral?"

Robert shrugged, "She didn't make it seem like it but I don't know. She said she'd only speak to you."

Mary held Anna's shoulder, "I can tell her you're not in a position to talk if you want. See what she wants if you need me to."

"No," Anna gripped Mary's hand, smiling at her. "Thank you but I think I need to handle this alone. She asked for me."

"If you're sure." Mary helped her stand, taking the jumper but putting the box in Anna's hand. "You should keep this."

Anna slipped the ring on her finger, smiling at Mary, and wiped at her eyes as she joined Robert at the door. He escorted her to the entryway and then the sitting room. He drew the doors back and Anna frowned at the sight of the woman from the café.

"Hello?"

The woman turned and managed a small smile before pointing to the room. "It's gorgeous here."

"I should hope so. We spend a decent amount to keep it nice." Anna waved Robert away, waiting for him to shut the doors before pointing at her. "You were at the café the day John died."

"I was."

"What was he to you?"

"We were together, once." She pointed to a sofa and Anna shrugged. The woman took her seat, looking up at Anna. "I'm sure he told you once that he had an ex of a particularly nasty personality."

"He mentioned you sabotaged his relationships with him in the past." Anna took a seat herself, face hard while her fingers twisted the ring over her finger. The ring that felt right and wrong at the same time. "Did you ruin this too?"

"I can honestly say I had no part in this." She shrugged, "Fate makes its own decisions sometimes. Even beings like us aren't immune to the tides and ebbs of the world about us."

"You look remarkably unaffected."

"It's perception, Ms. Smith." The woman cleared her throat, "But I've actually grown a little tired of the life I've been living and I want to do some good in the world."

"Then build some roads in Africa."

"That's not what I mean." She put her hand out as Anna made to stand. "I want to right by John Bates."

"Why? After you ruined his life for so long why do you care about him now?"

"Because, now that he's dead, I'm the last of my kind." The woman heaved a breath, "It's a lonely feeling that I'm not sure even you could understand but I don't want you to either."

"I hope you're not here for pity or sympathy."

"I'm here to give you a chance."

"Chance to do what?"

"To find and save John Bates."

Anna's ears perked, up, "I'm listening."

"It won't be easy."

"It wouldn't be worth it if it were." Anna rested her arms on her knees, "What is it?"

"You'll take my immortality and I'll bind your soul to John's."

"Then what?"

"Then you wait, Ms. Smith." The woman nodded at her, "You'll walk a long, lonesome road for who knows how many years until you find him again."

"Then what?"

"Then you simply love him. The same rules apply as before. If you love deeply and well then you'll give up your immortality and your souls'll move on together."

"Move on where?"

She smiled at Anna, "That's the question we've all been asking for millennia and I'm ready to find the answer for myself." She extended a hand to Anna, "Are you ready to delay it awhile?"

"To save John?" Anna took her hand, "I'll do anything."

"Good. Then we'll get started."


	23. Epilogue: The World Turns

She glanced up, smiling as the man pointed to the seat, "Is this taken?"

"No and I'd rather share anyway." She closed her book, "If we're going to share the space, though, I should probably insist that you tell me your name."

"Is that bad experience talking?"

"More like a desire to get to know people who might be sharing conversation. I've had too many good conversations with people whose names I don't know and then, when they leave, I'm only left with a good memory.'

"But what a memory."

"I didn't say they were bad. Only that I'd want your name to better remember this event."

"In that case it's John," He reached a hand over, shaking hers. "John Bates."

"You're not local with a voice like that."

"No, I'm from Ireland originally."

"Never goes away does it?"

"What?"

"The accent."

"They're pretty ingrained." John laughed, "A bit like yours I'd imagine."

"Oh you're so right," She feigned embarrassment, "My native Yorkshire does tend to show rather obviously."

"I can't mind since it's lovely and I like it." He paused, "I'd like it better if I had a name to go with it."

"Does that work with everyone?"

"No because you need an accent I actually like for it to work."

"Aren't you a charmer," She smiled, "Anna Smith."

"What brings you to Paris, Ms. Smith?"

"Touring the world, now that I've got the time."

"Just escape a confining job?"

"More like I decided to expand my horizons and make the time." She opened a hand to him, "And you? What brings you to Paris?"

"It's my first time." He frowned, "Though, I've got the strangest sense I've been here before but maybe it's just that I've seen so many pictures of it I feel it's like an old friend."

Anna nodded, pursing her lips slightly, "I get that feeling about people sometimes. Like I've known them forever when we've only just met."

John nodded in agreement, "It's part of the reason why I sat down at this table."

"I did wonder." She grinned, pointing to the empty tables around them. "Given the plethora of options available."

"It's two-fold, actually." He leaned forward, lowering his voice like he wanted to share a secret. "First, I hate eating dessert alone, since it's an indulgence, and second I felt I'd hate myself forever if I didn't at least take a chance introducing myself to you."

"But you've got no dessert with you so your first excuse seems a little flimsy as a cover for the second."

"I'll have you know," A waiter set a large, decadent, chocolate cake between the two of them with two forks, "That I planned that first excuse rather determinedly. It's only as flimsy as the mousse on this cake."

"Not very then."

"So, what do you think about my reasoning now?"

"I think you made the right decision on both counts." She pointed to the dessert. "Mind if we share? I wouldn't want you to lose your first justification for sharing my table."

"It is why I ordered two forks to go with it." He extended a fork to her. "I hope your not a picky eater."

"Not with cake." She dug into the cake. "How are you settling into Paris?"

"It's about as taken with me as I am with it."

"What, like two dogs sniffing each other out?" Anna teased, going for another bite as she chewed her first.

"About like that." He grinned, "Obviously you're settling in well."

"How'd you mean?" She put her hand under her fork, scraping the bite from the tines.

He pointed to her book, "You're not reading a guidebook at an outdoor café like a tourist."

"Who said I'm a tourist?"

"You said you were touring the world."

"It's a longer process." She opened her hands, "This is my base of operations and I tour from here."

"Ah," John nodded, swallowing his own bite. "I guess I'll have to be more specific in my questioning."

"Yes you will."

He leaned over the table, kissing the chocolate off her lips, "I'll remember that next time I surprise you in a café so you don't bring a medical journal with you."

"You're the one who was late." Anna put a hand on his cheek, kissing him again before she let him return to his seat.

He dragged it closer to her, putting a hand around the back of her chair. "It took longer than I thought to arrange our room for our… celebrations later."

"Celebrations?" Anna raised an eyebrow, "Someone's sure of themselves."

"You've never complained before."

"There's a first for everything."

"Like a first time for the… fourth time we've met?"

"Just like that." Anna took his free hand in hers, linking their fingers. "Happy anniversary."

"Happy anniversary." He kissed over her knuckles and then her mouth. "I love you Anna."

"And I love you John." She took another forkful of cake, holding it to his lips. "Eat this and then you can show me why you were late."

"My pleasure."

"Oh," Anna drew the fork back and John clamped his teeth on air. "I rather think it'll be mine."

"That's my intention." He kissed her again, "From now until forever."


End file.
